Ordinary Life
by WhatTheF-ckHaveYouDoneLately
Summary: Sequel to Iris. Dean and Castiel's perfect life is about to be torn apart by tragedy, but an unexpected arrival from the future is there to put it back together. But can James Winchester pick up the pieces before it's too late? Co-written by XspriteyX.
1. Prologue: Sing It One Last Time For You

**Author's Note:**

**Written by; vampireluvr15**

**Co-written by; XspriteyX**

**Plot by; Susangel**

**The unstoppable duo is BACK! *dancing around like a complete and total idiot* Kim and Cassie have returned for their second collaboration, along with a plot supplied by the lovely Susangel, and here you have the short but necessary prologue by yours truly! Kim will be in the next chapter providing her infamous funny lines, so stay tuned :D Though I might add that while her notorious humor will be present, this will be much angst-y than Iris was, so strap in my dears! It will also welcome the children (Sam and Gabriel's, Dean and Castiel's, Crowley and Aziraphale's, etc) so be ready for some new members of the SPN family XD And also, unlike my other fics this won't be updated every single day, but I promise it will still be updated frequently!**

**Thanks to any readers that have dropped by to check this out!**

**P.S. The "lullaby" from this chapter is a real song, a link to it is on my profile :-)**

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><p>"<em>I'll sing it one last time for you<em>

_Then we really have to go_

_You've been the only thing that's right_

_In all I've done."_

_~Run by Snow Patrol_

Castiel's low, melodious voice drifted through the room as he sung a six week old James to sleep, Dean nodding off right along with their son. Something about his husband's voice always lulled him into sleepiness, though right now he was already exhausted, so Cas' quiet singing was just enough to push him into a deep slumber in the armchair he'd been occupying for the past hour while Castiel tried to get their son to sleep. It was the same song, the same lullaby he'd been singing to James since the night he was born. Dean let himself absorb the sweet notes of the song as his eyes fell shut, his eyelashes dark smudges against his cheeks in the shadowed room.

"_I've seen them appear with the crescent moon_

_Felt the air turn cold, heard them whistle a tune_

_That raises the dead from a ghostly cocoon…"_

Sam had drug them to some ridiculous play, and the show tune had stuck with the angel, who had used it to sing their son to sleep ever since. Dean had tried introducing Cas to every possible television show the angel could imagine with no success in drawing him to the luxuries of modern entertainment, but let his nerdy ass brother take him to one effing play, and suddenly Cas won't shut up about how brilliant Randy Harrison is. _Un-fucking-believable_, Dean had thought.

Meanwhile, Cas placed a now sleeping James into his cradle, stepping back quietly. Dean snored softly in the armchair, his lips parted, his exhales pushing wisps of air between them. He watched his hunter sleep, thinking about how lucky he was to have Dean. His husband, his partner, his Mate. Castiel had loved Dean from the moment he'd pulled his soul from Hell, seeing that soul's beauty even after it had been damaged, and now they had everything that Cas had ever wanted and so much more. Their own home, two rings declaring them married, wonderful friends, and above all, a beautiful son. They had even discussed having a second child someday.

Castiel folded himself onto the floor at Dean's feet and leaned back against his jeans clad legs, closing his eyes. James was a fitful sleeper and Cas knew better than to think he'd get more than three hours of rest before the fledgling was awake again. But the constant feeling of fatigue was well worth it, of course. It was all simply a part of parenthood. Gabriel had jokingly warned him once that no amount of anti aging cream could mask the dark circles and stress lines that eventually came with giving birth to and caring for a child. Castiel was starting to understand that statement now.

The room was silent except for the sound of three people breathing. Right then, Castiel felt more at peace than he had in a very long time. Dean was warm and solid behind him, the sound of his breathing as much of a lullaby to Cas as a familiar show tune was to James. The angel was slowly drifting off to sleep himself, blissfully unaware that they only had a few short years of this beautiful, uncomplicated life left before the unthinkable happened.

With great love also comes great tragedy. Castiel would soon learn this firsthand.


	2. The Beauty and The Tragedy

**Author's Note:**

**Thank you SO MUCH for the reviews guys! Cookies and shirtless Misha for all ;D And feel free to scream excitedly, because as promised, Kim is here in this chapter! The Gabriel/Cas park scene is all her, and the rest of the chapter is mine :-) And also, if you go to my profile and click "Ordinary Life," there is a fanart for it :D**

**Oh, and the rest of the gang is back in the following chapter before the angst storm hits!**

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><p>"<em>Another day, another sunrise<em>

_Washing over everything_

_In its time, love will be mine_

_The beauty and the tragedy."_

_~The Beauty and The Tragedy by Trading Yesterday_

**Four Years Later**

_One more week_, Dean thought. _One more week and this baby will be out of Cas and I can stop sleeping in the panic room. _Of course he'd been ecstatic when he first learned of the pregnancy, and they were expecting a baby girl named Mary Grace Winchester, but it was fairly hard to be enthusiastic when you're getting lamps thrown at you because apparently the shirt you were wearing clashed with the color of the walls. Dean had given up on trying to reason with his hormonal husband and was currently slinking upstairs in search of food, keeping an eye out for the psychotic force better known as Castiel.

He walked into the kitchen and found the angel sitting at the table, skin pale and face tear streaked. The azure blue eyes Dean knew and loved were red and puffy. Cas looked up, saw Dean, and immediately broke down into tears again. _Oh crap, what did I do this time? _Dean wondered, rushing to Castiel's side and folding the angel into his arms.

"What's wrong?" he asked, rubbing Cas' back soothingly.

"You left me!" Cas sobbed into Dean's chest. "I woke up and you weren't even _there_! I thought something had happened to you!"

Oops. "I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean to worry you."

Castiel seemed to accept his apology (for once!) for he sniffled quietly against Dean's shirt, the tears slowing and finally stopping. It had been this way the week before James had been born too; Castiel's emotions had been all over the place, even worse than they were throughout the rest of the pregnancy. Dean felt guilty for abandoning Cas last night, but at that point he'd been fearing for his survival, and he figured it was better to have to explain to Cas than for James and Mary to grow up without their second father.

Cas drew back and wiped his eyes. "I am sorry Dean, I am sure I have effectively frightened you with my hormonal tendencies."

The answer to that question was a big YES, but Dean thought it was smarter not to say so. "You can't help you're a little whacked out, Cas, I understand."

Any further reassurances were cut off by the fork that had suddenly stabbed Dean in the crotch, right through his jeans. He cried out in pain and stumbled back, yanking the fork out and throwing it away from him. Cas was on his feet, his eyes narrowed angrily. Dean found himself wishing he'd never left the panic room.

"Whacked out? Is _that_ how you think of me?" Castiel demanded furiously.

It was going to be the longest seven days of Dean Winchester's life.

**Three Frightening Days Later**

Gabriel was at the park with Castiel, so Dean went over to Sam's house with James in tow. The little boy was already gorgeous, with Dean's emerald eyes and Castiel's mess of rumpled brown hair. When he pulled up in the Impala, Sam was sitting on the porch with Loki and Isadora, Lily still sleeping up in her room. He smiled and waved at Dean, dark circles ringing his eyes. Gabriel was pregnant _again _(ask one of the Winchesters to tell you what a condom is, they'll probably just stare at you like you've started chanting in Cambodian), so the younger Winchester was going through the same hell his brother was. But sadly this was a different kind of hell than the kind they were used to, and the only thing around to grip them tight and raise them from Perdition was a bottle of whiskey.

"Uncle Dean!" Loki yelled happily, dashing off the porch and taking a running leap into his uncle's arms.

Dean grinned and swung the boy around. "Hey little man! Gotten laid yet?"

"Dean!" Sam scolded.

"Panties out of a twist Samantha, he probably doesn't even know what that means yet."

"I know what it means," said Isadora proudly, who was too much like Gabriel for her own good.

James bounded over and happily wrapped his arms around Sam's legs. "Hey Uncle Sammy!"

Sam ruffled the boy's hair. "Hey James. You keeping your daddy in line for me?"

"Which one?" James deadpanned. Because only a spawn of Castiel could sound deadpan at four years old.

Sam chuckled. "The one without the big belly."

"Easier said than done," the boy said with a long suffering sigh. He didn't even _sound_ like he was four.

James bounded off to go play with Isadora and Loki, leaving Sam and Dean to watch their children fondly. Sam and Gabriel's pet hellhound was laying under a shade tree, panting softly in the afternoon heat. The kids climbed all over her, but the hound didn't so much as move. She loved her family and her two masters. Once, when Isadora had gotten a cold, she had curled up with the hellhound and slept through the night just like that.

"Any luck surviving Cas' pregnancy?" Sam joked.

"No, I'm praying for my life at least three times a day." Dean was completely serious.

"Try keeping a readily stocked supply of chocolate cakes around. Seems to work on Gabe," Sam suggested.

"Yeah well that make work on Glenda The Good Bitch, but Cas is a little harder to handle."

"I'll pick you out a nice tombstone just in case you don't survive this."

"Thanks."

_***At The Park***_

Castiel squirmed once again on the park bench; as much as he loved his soon to be born daughter, Mary had a habit of sitting on his vessel's bladder, making it very difficult to remind himself that he didn't have to use the facilities. But then again he didn't have to fornicate with Dean either but he did that. So yes his afternoon would be a little easier if his daughter decided to swim to the other side. He realized at that thought he'd spent far too much time with Gabriel since it was impossible for Mary to swim around in the womb.

He glanced at his elder brother, who sat beside him just as pregnant, eating a vanilla and raspberry swirled ice cream smothered in gummy bears. Cas was immediately thankful he hadn't experienced any taste urges (Dean did not count since he was a non negotiable daily dosage), and he wondered how it was Gabriel could be so at ease. Didn't he worry that humans would notice their stomachs and have an 'OMG ALIENS!' moment? Well, according to James that's what would happen.

Then again the boy had also insisted that sock gnomes existed, well and truly confusing Castiel since he had never heard of such creatures, and with his angelic knowledge that was a first. Once Dean had smirked and confirmed their existence, Castiel had taken appropriate measures and laid traps for the thieving beasts. After Dean had accidentally set off one of the traps getting his fingers stuck in a 'mousetrap from hell!' he'd explained to Castiel that no they weren't actually real it was just a human thing. He'd felt quite foolish as he healed Dean's fingers.

Gabriel of course and his mini me of a daughter had found it hilarious. He truly worried about Isadora; that fledgling was going to be a handful and a half. A flick to his forehead stirred him out of his thoughts. He blinked at his smirking brother.

Gabriel, no longer gorging shamelessly on ice cream, said, "No Winchester angst when we're away from the repression of the husbands."

"You're also a Winchester though, and I am under no repression. Is Sam-"

At his brother's deadpan stare, he realized that Gabriel was being...well, himself. He ducked his head, feeling the tell tale flush creeping into his cheeks. Gabriel snorted.

"I'm well aware that I'm a Winchester." Castiel looked back up, seeing his brother finger his ring fondly. "What I was meaning is why are you so broody, no pun intended, today? Kick back and relax 'cause trust me, when lil Mary pops out you can kiss your peace and quiet goodbye."

Castiel returned his gaze to the other children running around the park laughing and squealing. "I cannot wait for Mary to be in my arms, and I like the house being noisy. Have you and Sam thought of any names yet?"

Gabriel laughed. "Well I was thinking maybe Atton or Romeo for a boy, and Astella or Sayuri for a girl. Sam suggested Jayden or Jasper for a boy and Marci or Serena for a girl. So yeah we're pretty much undecided. Meh we'll pick something when it comes." He then sighed and shook his head. "As much as I love that Sasquatch, having his rugrats is hard on the organs if they're going to be baby yeti sized upon exit."

Castiel nodded as if he actually knew what Gabriel was talking about, and his brother added, "I should have got a bigger vessel. Sometimes being short is a pain, like you know that tall cupboard at our house? Well the kiddos asked for a cookie each that Granny Mary made, so I go to get them and Sam ends up finding me dangling from the cupboard since the chair I stood on to reach them slipped from under me. Totally not cool."

Castiel gave a soft little "hmm." "I heard Sam say to Dean he loves you just the way you are. He said 'he's cute and cuddly'." Cas knew his brother was blushing right now but pretended not to notice since Gabriel, like Dean, preferred not to have 'chick flick moments.' What poultry had to with emotions, Castiel didn't know.

A woman approached them with a stroller containing two toddlers whilst resting a hand on her bump, and she sat exhausted on the bench beside them as the toddlers cried. Gabriel sprung into action (sprung into action as best as a man with a belly large enough to need its own country can spring, that is), producing a bubble blower and blowing bubbles towards them. The toddlers whimpered then giggle at the pretty bubbles. The woman breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank you so much."

"No problem, I have three myself," Gabriel replied, grinning.

The woman jokingly added, "And one on the way I see."

Gabriel winked back "You caught me. Here keep it I have a dozen spare anyway." The woman thanked him and took the bubble blower before getting up and walking away, and as she left Gabriel knowingly added, "Oh…and angels are watching out for you."

She smiled and left with the kids. Castiel shook his head "I doubt I'll ever understand your humor."

Gabriel patted his back sympathetically. "Cas you wouldn't know humour if it was nailed to the broadside of a barn." Then the archangel saw…"Ohhhhh, Slushies! Must. Have. Blueberry. Slushy!"

Castiel shook his head amusedly but accepted the grape slushy that Gabriel handed him, relaxing contently in the sunshine.

**Four Miserable, Life Threatening Days Later**

Today was the day.

And it was about damn time. By this point Dean was on the verge of writing _What To Expect When You're Expecting 2.0, A Full Guide On Surviving Your Angelic Husband's Pregnancy. _May not sell many copies, but he was sure he could offer a few useful tips. (_Rule One - If he bursts out into tears and starts throwing his clothes all over the room, threatening suicide, then he's probably misplaced his trench coat again. Rule Two - Always stay within running distance of a conveniently located panic room. Trust me, your life depends on it. Rule Three - If you survive, buy some condoms. USE THEM.)_

"Dean?"

Castiel's familiar, husky voice drew the Winchester (who was currently sitting on the bed, leaning against the headboard, treasuring what few moments of peace he'd managed to salvage) out of his thoughts. Besides the dark circles of exhaustion under his eyes, Cas looked fairly normal, not ready to break down in sobs or skewer Dean's balls with a pitchfork. It was a nice change when the angel smiled at Dean warmly and apologetically.

Dean slid his legs apart to make room and held an arm out. "Get over here."

Cas happily obliged, sitting down in the opening between Dean's knees and leaning back against his hunter's chest. Dean's arms encircled him from behind, his hands settling on Cas' stomach and remaining there, feeling Mary Grace kick in her eagerness to be out of the womb. Castiel dropped his head back against Dean's shoulder, allowing his eyes to fall shut. He was asleep in no time.

James toddled in shortly after, climbing up on the bed with his parents and curling up next to Cas, whispering since his pregnant father was asleep. "Hi Daddy."

Dean smiled and moved one of his hands to ruffle his son's hair. "Hey kiddo. Wanna say hi to your sister?"

James bit his lip and nodded fervently, squirming with excitement. Dean took the boy's hand and placed it over Castiel's stomach, watching James' eyes light up as he felt his baby sister kicking. Dean could only smile as the small boy cautiously pressed his ear to Castiel's stomach, trying to hear his little sister in there. Miraculously, Cas slept through it all, his much needed sleep undisturbed.

After awhile they all fell asleep together; Dean with one arm around Cas, James tucked under Dean's arm, Cas leaned back against his husband. Just like Sam and Gabriel and their children did, Dean and Cas and their own made a beautiful family. Early in their relationship, back when Gabriel had first been pregnant with the twins and Dean and Cas were just starting to fall in love, their relationship had appeared strictly psychical to someone on the outside looking in.

This wasn't true, of course. Dean had at first only wanted to expose the sexual side of their relationship because Castiel was the only one he felt comfortable with when it came to letting his emotional guard down. So Sam may have often come home to find them pressed up against walls, kissing feverishly, or on the bed going at it like a couple of teenagers (the first time the latter had happened, Sam had promptly started yelling, "My eyes! My EYES!") but no one was around for the other times.

The times when they would just lay in each other's arms after sex, or sometimes lay together just for the sake of closeness. Or the times when Dean would press the most loving of kisses to the side of Cas' face, grinning as the angel blushed, then telling Cas he was beautiful. _That_ was the side of their relationship Dean had been reluctant to let anyone else see, but eventually he grew just as comfortable being loving towards Cas as Sam was being loving towards Gabriel. That's not to say they didn't still get caught making out (when Cas wasn't pregnant, of course) or get found having sex in the backseat of the Impala, but some things just never change.

The small family slept without interruption for several hours.

…It was the last peaceful moment they would spend together.


	3. I Don't Wanna Be Anything Other Than Me

**Author's Note:**

**Time to meet the families! Here is a little peek into the future of the kids before we go back to the day Cas goes into labor :D I know I said this chapter would be the angst storm and whatnot, but I decided that won't be until the one after this. I just really wanted to introduce the fledglings all grown up, and trust me this isn't the last you'll see of them ;D **

**And for those of you who are confuzzled when a Leslie is mentioned in this chapter, just think back to Iris! She was the one that gave Sam and Gabriel's kids soda and got carried around by the scruff of the neck by Sam until her dad Hades showed up to get her. Hopefully that should ring some bells :D **

***Note: Lucifer Gallagher belongs to Reaper's Curse, and she is largely to thank for the Lucifer/Kerberosel scene in this chapter.**

**Thanks for all the reviews! Sorry to say this chapter is Kim-less, but don't worry, she shall return :D**

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><p><em><strong>*Flash Forward - Twelve Years Into The Future*<strong>_

Crowley sat contently by Aziraphale as his angel played the piano, Zira's loosely curled blond hair falling into his eyes. The demon reached over and gently brushed it back. Aziraphale smiled gratefully and played the last few notes of Yiruma's _Beloved, _the song he'd dedicated to Crowley, sickeningly enough. Somehow it had become "their song," damn sappy human customs all to hell.

Their peaceful moment was interrupted when their son Kerberosel came downstairs, a spitting image of Zira with Crowley's eyes. He noticed the way Crowley and Zira were seemingly lost in each other and groaned. "Guys, if you're going to screw on the piano, can you please wait until I'm not home?" He had a curious mix of Crowley's Cockney accent and Aziraphale's older English one, though it was hard to tell the difference since they were both British.

"Fine, then go over to Lucifer's," Crowley said, grinning and tugging Aziraphale closer.

By Lucifer's he didn't mean the former cheerleader for Team Apocalypse; he meant Lucifer Gallagher, one of Leslie's children. He was Kerberosel's best friend and had been for years. They were so different but stuck together no matter what. Everyone had lost count of how many times Lucifer had beat the hell out of people at school that had dared mock Kerberosel.

Sometimes the mockery was for Kerberosel's homosexuality (which he was completely open about), his two gay parents, his uniquely prominent British accent, his way of speaking when he was around strangers (which was prim, proper, and very similar to Aziraphale's sometimes), or his lack of knowledge when it came to most modern pop culture (another trait they blamed on Aziraphale). But regardless of why they were trying to put him down, Lucifer was always there to shove them right back in their place. Kerberosel loved him for it.

Being half angel, half demon, Kerberosel was extremely powerful. He could also morph into a snake like Crowley, though instead of the classical reptilian appearance, he turned into a snake that was a beautiful ice blue color. Once, Aziraphale had come home to find the house a wreck; Crowley and Kerberosel were trying to figure out which one of them was stronger. Blasts of power filled the room as they had what was the demonic equivalent of a pissing match. Unfortunately they were evenly matched, so the only thing it resulted in was both of them being exhausted and having to use their already drained powers to repair the living room.

Just as Crowley suggested, Kerberosel went over to Lucifer's. He had absolutely no desire to watch his parents fornicate on a piano. The very same piano he'd been conceived on, if Crowley was to be believed. He shuddered at the mental images that the thought seared into his brain. Walking into the Gallagher family's kitchen through the back door (it was his second home; no knocking required), he fondly recalled some of the memories that had taken place there.

When Lucifer and Kerberosel had been five, Lucifer had been trying to pronounce his friend's name with little success. "Kerber…Kerba…screw it! I'm calling you Pie."

Then ten years later, when they were fifteen, Lucifer tried once more. "Kerber…Kerba…fuck it! I'm calling you my bitch."

Kerberosel chuckled at the memory and sought out his friend, who was most likely with his twin brother. Sure enough, the twins Lucifer and Bones Gallagher sat in their living room, conversing about whatever mindless topic they fancied this time. That topic happened to be that no one in their family knew the meaning of a condom, if their long list of relatives was any indication. Kerberosel walked in and asked what he'd missed, draping his magician's coat (which was eerily similar to Aziraphale's) over the back of the couch.

"Hey butt buddy," Lucifer greeted.

Bones gave a long suffering sigh. "How am I related to you Lucifer?"

Kerberosel, however, was irritated with Lucifer's form of greeting. "I have a name, you know."

"Yeah, it's 'my bitch' or 'butt buddy'," Lucifer replied.

"It's Kerberosel you ass!"

Lucifer, as infuriating as ever, asked, "You sure about that?"

"Yes, I am, thank you very much," Kerberosel said with Aziraphale's prissy bitchface.

Crowley, because he was so damn helpful, popped in and corrected, "Lucifer's bitch."

"Thank you Crowley!" Lucifer said triumphantly.

Aziraphale appeared next to his demon, standing up for their son as per usual. "Crowley, I _will_ withhold sex. Don't put it past me."

Lucifer's reply to that statement was silence.

"Yeah. What Luce said," Kerberosel said wryly.

Then Bones decided to change the subject and addressed Kerberosel, though not with his real name of course. "You know, Lucifer's bitch, we would call my brother your bitch if your name wasn't so impossible to pronounce and spell."

Kerberosel's inherited British accent was growing more pronounced with his irritation. "Kerberosel! It's not that hard! Ker-ber-os-el! K! E! R! B! E! R! O! S! E! L!"

"Tell that to the person that can't spell his own name," Bones said, looking over at his twin.

"It was once! How was I supposed to know that my name was spelled with an I and not a Y!" Lucifer protested.

Kerberosel smirked. "Sure, Lucy."

Bones simply shook his head and watched as Lucifer chased Kerberosel all over the house.

"_Part of where I'm going, is knowing where I'm coming from_

_I don't wanna be anything other than what I've been tryin' to be lately_

_All I have to do is think of me and have peace of mind_

_I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do_

_Or who I'm supposed to be_

_I don't wanna be anything other than me."_

_~I Don't Want To Be by Gavin DeGraw_

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><p>Isadora and Loki Winchester were two completely different people, despite being twins. Isadora was a feisty, headstrong firecracker with a "fuck the world" attitude, while Loki was a bit more Sam-like with his smarts and logical thinking. He was headstrong too, just not as deliberately disobedient as his sister. Many said that there was a second Gabriel, and that her name was Isadora Jessiel Winchester. This is very true. At sixteen years old, she couldn't be more like her angelic father, who she often called "Mommy."<p>

Currently Isadora, nicknamed "Izzy," was in none other than Las Vegas, running up the bill on Sam's credit card. She was swathed in a huge fluffy robe, and a couple of hot shirtless guys were feeding her strawberries dipped in dark chocolate. _Life is good_, she thought, stretching her legs out on her poolside chaise lounge. Well, it was until her phone started blasting Katy Perry's "Waking Up In Vegas," the ringtone she'd set in honor of her little impromptu vacation. She glanced at the caller ID and smirked, flipping the phone open and putting it to her ear.

"Hey _Mom_," she said sarcastically.

"Isadora Winchester get your ass home right _now_!" Gabriel screeched. "Sammy and I have been worried _sick_!"

"Sorry, it was rude not to invite you." She knew she was trying his patience.

"IZZY! I swear to Dad if you don't get home THIS INSTANT-"

She snapped the phone closed and tucked it back into the pocket of her robe, but not before turning it off. Gabriel was hilarious when he was angry. But as funny as it was to listen to him rant, she didn't want anyone taking away from her fun. And it wasn't like she didn't intend on coming home (because she did, after she spent the weekend in Vegas) so her conscious was nice and clear. _Speaking of nice and clear, would you look at that water…_she thought, standing up and dropping her robe to reveal her swimsuit.

The sigil tattooed onto her lower back protected her from angels tracking her; she enjoyed her swim without interruption.

"_Shut up and put your money where your mouth is_

_That's what you get for waking up in Vegas_

_Get up and shake the glitter off your clothes now_

_That's what you get for waking up in Vegas."_

_~Waking Up In Vegas by Katy Perry_

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><p>Then came the Winchester children. James, sixteen, and Mary, twelve. They didn't lead the charmed life that their friends did. Especially James, for reasons yet to be explained. But that was a story for another time. As far as appearance went though, he couldn't be better off. He had dark hair that looked permanently sexed up thanks to Cas' genes, his other father's jade green eyes, and a tall, muscled body. Even his black leather trench coat was a mixture of both his parents.<p>

His quiet, mysterious air drew people to him like moths to a flame. He wasn't much the social type, and the way he preferred to sit alone rather than with Kerberosel, Isadora, Loki, and the rest of his friends made everyone wonder about him. Everyone with the exception of the people he'd grown up with, that is. They all knew the story…all knew why James Winchester had been a completely different person since that fateful night twelve years ago.

Now he sat in his window seat sketching his parents. He'd found a picture of them downstairs, tucked into an old book; they looked so happy, with their arms around each other and smiles dancing on their lips. He felt cold and distant as he sketched Castiel; his pencil skating across the page and outlining the hair that he saw every time he looked in the mirror. James stared at the picture, thinking, _God, they're beautiful. _

Tears prickling in his eyes, he slammed the sketchbook closed and threw it across the room.

"_The writings on the wall of those who came before_

_Left pictures frozen still, in time."_

_~Only One by Alex Band_


	4. Sometimes The Day Just Ends

***Sorry for the wait guys! Kim was on vacation and just now got back. The scene with God and the Fates is hers :-)**

**Author's Note:**

**If anyone goes into a very deep depression after reading this, don't panic: I did the same thing after writing it. I actually cried writing this. I think this is the most emotional piece I have ever, EVER done, and I don't think my mental health can handle doing it ever again. I couldn't even _proofread_ it without crying. But this was a key factor in Suzy's plot…so I had to write it, no matter how badly I wanted to stop, crawl under my desk, and sob myself to death.**

**Proceed with caution.**

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><p><em>"Sometimes there are no words<em>

_No clever quotes to neatly sum up what's happened that day..._

_Sometimes the day just...ends."_

_~Aaron Hotchner_

Dean was having an extremely weird dream about Cas creating a Twitter account and using it to take over the world when the angel in question urgently shook him awake. He blinked groggily and opened his eyes, though he immediately became alert when he saw the pain in Castiel's eyes. He knew right then that his husband was in labor. Cas had paled to the point of appearing gaunt, his eyes pained and feverish. He looked far worse than Gabriel had when the archangel had gone into labor, but Dean figured once God showed up he could make this labor just as painless as James' birthing had been.

"Gabriel! Get your ass over here!" Dean yelled, knowing the archangel could hear him.

Gabriel's arrival was announced with a soft fluttering of wings. Any snarky greeting he had planned was cut short when he saw his brother, whom he quickly laid out on the bed and stripped from the waist up. Little James was bouncing around excitedly, knowing this meant that his little sister was on the way. Dean instructed him to go get a blanket for Mary, and James didn't waste a second before taking off for the linen closet down the hall.

Dean clasped Cas' hand in his, starting to panic as the angel screamed out in agony. "Where the hell is God?"

Gabriel was starting to panic too. "I think he's at a bakeoff in Michigan!"

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"I wish I was!"

Dean shot to his feet and looked skywards. "God, get your pansy ass down here! Cas is in labor and he's in _pain_, dammit!"

God appeared wearing his usual clothing, though this time he also sported an apron. Any other time, Dean would be laughing his ass off by now. But all he could focus on was Cas, and the way his angel's eyes were rolling back in his head, his back arching off the bed as he screamed. Light fixtures started exploding and windows started cracking in response to the angel's frayed grace. Dean was trying to whisper words of comfort to him, but Castiel didn't even seem to hear them.

"Help him!" Dean screamed.

Something flickered in God's eyes, regret maybe, but he rested his hand on Castiel's stomach and slowly soothed the pain away. Cas' body went slack, his eyes starting to glaze over. He whimpered in pain still, but the screams had faded away, thank the man in the apron. Dean sat next to him and brushed his hair out of his eyes, kissing Cas' forehead and telling him he loved him and that everything would be okay. God remained silent as he eased Castiel through labor.

"The pain's gone…" Cas whispered, his voice tired and drug out.

Dean smiled. "I'm glad."

Gabriel hovered nearby, keeping a close watch on his little brother. God looked almost heartbroken as he worked his power through Castiel's body, painlessly opening a birth canal just like he'd done all the other times his angelic children had gone into labor. This time was different though. Now even he, the being that created the ground he stood upon, was struggling to hold it together.

* * *

><p>The three Fate sisters watched with cool contentment as the little angel boy started slipping away, unseen to all but God. He projected his thoughts into them whilst he worked hard on keeping Castiel and baby Mary alive.<p>

"Fates, it has been a long time. May I inquire the reason of your visit?"

The sisters all raised an eyebrow. The little girl, the woman and the old woman all in sync responded with, "We have merely came to receive a payment worthy enough of the price not yet paid."

Castiel was fading quickly; God worked harder. "And what would that be?"

The Fates turned their attention to Castiel. "Many ripples have been made, those who were lost are still living and those who are found do not understand the balance. We may not meddle the extent you do, but we can, so we accept this token instead."

God gritted his teeth, his energy no longer being able to sustain Castiel alone. "You have no right to take him!"

The Fates' eyes glowed a dangerous shade of pale blue, as did their hands. "Oh? In that case should we right the course and put things back to how they should be?"

God was horrified to watch Gabriel become transparent along with James, and his mind was plagued with similar images; Mary, John, Ellen, Jo, Nicholas, Kerberosel, Adam, Anna, Kali, Loki, Isadora, Lily, their unborn sibling, as well as many others faded into a ghost like state; Lucifer and Michael were locked in the cage fighting constantly to rip each other to pieces.

It was horrible.

So many losses, the children never existed, so many loves not together.

The Fates could do that with a wave of their will.

"No. Please do not do that."

The glowing faded. In its place, the youngest Fate produced a shining white cord, and the old woman brought out a pair of silver scissors. "Then he shall be the one."

"At least give him some time to say goodbye," God requested, his final plea.

They frowned thoughtfully. "A few minutes only."

God nodded, gazing at Castiel with nothing less that heartbreak. At least he'd gotten him some time.

* * *

><p>White light filled the room for a moment, and Castiel was eased into a deep sleep.<p>

_Castiel's dream was peaceful. He recognized his version of Heaven; his beloved eternal Tuesday afternoon. He looked up as a bright kite flew through the air, which was as warm and clear as ever. Cas knew he should feel peaceful, but there was something nagging at the back of his mind, reminding him he had to leave, he had to wake up. But he couldn't remember why, or even what had been going on before he'd fallen asleep. Then he realized that Heaven couldn't be Heaven without one thing…one thing that would make this Paradise complete._

_Where was his family? _

"_Fear not, my son," said a deep voice from behind him._

_He turned around and smiled warmly, the summer breeze ruffling his hair pleasantly. "Father."_

_God stepped forwards and drew Castiel into his arms, holding the angel in a close embrace. Birds sung from the trees; the grass swayed underfoot. It was so beautifully peaceful. Cas relaxed in his Father's arms and returned the embrace, clasping his hands behind God's neck. For the life of him he couldn't remember why he was asleep, but a contentment was filling him that was swiftly blotting out his musings. It was like he could feel nothing but happiness…like peace was all that existed._

Meanwhile, Dean was being handed his beautiful daughter, Mary's cries filling the air. Love filled his chest as he held her close to him, whispering to her how beautiful she was. He looked over at Cas, who God had put to sleep so he could recover. Dean smiled widely, envisioning the pride and love that would be in his angel's eyes when he first saw Mary. Their beautiful Mary Grace Winchester.

Sam had arrived as well and cooed softly to his new niece, Gabriel right beside him, grinning down at the baby. God was still silent. Dean let the very eager Sam hold Mary, turning to Cas and taking the angel's hand between both of his own, squeezing it tightly. He was giddy with anticipation for his husband to wake up; he wanted to hand Mary to Cas, wanted them to hold her together, just wanted to hold _Cas. _But he knew that his angel needed time to recover and sleep was the best way to achieve that.

He moved one of his hands to Cas' chest, just to feel the strong and steady heartbeat against his palm. But strong and steady wasn't what he found. Surely he was overreacting, surely it wasn't as slow as he thought it was. It was there, but it was offbeat and slowing by the second. His smile dropped, his back straightening as his voice came out in a worried, terrified whisper.

"Cas?"

_Castiel heard Dean say his name, somewhere in the distance. He drew out of God's arms and looked around, smiling, searching for the source. "Cas." He heard it, he knew he did, but he couldn't find Dean even though it sounded as if his hunter's voice was right next to his ear. God tried to pull Castiel back, but the angel ignored the summons and wandered off in search of his human._

"_Castiel…he's not here," God said._

_Cas turned back around and tilted his head to the side. "Then let me go to him. He sounds worried…"_

"_I'm sorry, my son. You cannot return to him."_

_Castiel froze, an icy fear creeping through the peace that had been filling him just moments earlier. "What?"_

Dean was panicking, his entire body shaking as he screamed, "Wake up! _Please_ wake up! _Cas_!"

The angel's heartbeat had almost ceased completely.

"Wake him up!" Dean yelled at God.

God's eyes were full of grief. "The sisters of Fate are cruel, Dean, but this angel has a destiny. He shall have two children. But for his youngest child to enter this world…he must leave it."

"No, no, no," Dean was whispering, shaking his head even as his eyes filled with tears. "No…he can't be…_no_."

"He can still hear you…you should say your goodbyes."

Dean couldn't speak…he could only break down completely, the sobs wracking his body.

_Any and all calm Castiel had once felt had vanished. God wouldn't answer him. He only looked away sadly, confirming what Cas already feared more than anything. Castiel tried to fly from Heaven, but his wings refused to lift, to carry him away. He started shaking, trying desperately to find a way out. But his Father grabbed his arms and held him back, the bright afternoon sun suddenly seeming taunting and cruel._

_Castiel's anguished scream could be heard by all of his brethren, the angels hanging their heads in a silent vigil as Cas dropped to his knees, convulsing with sobs, his true voice piercing the air. A final, desperate cry. A cry for help…a farewell to a family he could never return to. It was so broken, so heart wrenching, so full of loss._

"_DEAN!"_

The broken, empty shell of a man that had once been Dean Winchester held Cas close to him, speaking through the tears that were consuming him and pulling him under.

"I love you so much baby…you can't leave us, Cas…we need you…please just come back to me…" he cried, his shaky hand resting against Castiel's chest, feeling his pulse slow with each passing moment.

"_Tell my children how much I loved them, that I'll always be watching over them…" Cas whispered brokenly._

Castiel's heartbeat started to fade away until it could barely be heard.

"I love you…"

_Castiel sobbed out his final, unheard words to Dean. "I love you too, always…"_

The angel's heart slowed to a stop.


	5. Don't Forget Me, I Beg

"_Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said_

_Sometimes it lasts in love_

_But sometimes it hurts instead."_

_~Someone Like You by Adele_

No one knew if Dean was going to recover from the death of his husband.

The night of Castiel's death, Sam and Gabriel (both had been crying their eyes out until they were forced to pull it together) literally had to pull Dean away from the bed, the older hunter sobbing and insisting he couldn't leave Cas. He screamed and fought and kicked as Sam and Gabriel pulled him away from Castiel's body._ Castiel's body. _It sounded so cold, so final. Gabriel had tried for hours to revive him, but Cas never woke. Sam briefly left Dean's side to comfort Gabriel, the small archangel breaking down in his human's arms.

"I never got to say goodbye," he sobbed, his fingers gripping the back of Sam's shirt.

Tears were coming back to Sam's already puffy, red eyes. "He knew you loved him."

James had been watching from the doorway, tears silently trekking across his cheeks. He could only watch helplessly as one of his fathers died, his other father falling apart and trying to cling on to the lifeless corpse of Castiel. No four year old boy should have to witness something so horrific, but James Winchester did, and it traumatized him for the rest of his life. He thought he would never see a scene more heartbreaking than that.

He was wrong.

On the morning of Castiel's funeral, he went into his parents' bedroom (Dean's bedroom, now) and found his father dressed entirely in black, his head hung low as he dropped to his knees on the floor. James' eyes filled with tears as he saw what his father was clutching to his chest: a large, baby blue stuffed octopus. Dean held it close to himself and stared at it for several long moments before he dissolved into sobs once more. The hunter tried so hard to be strong, but sometimes there would be a reminder of Cas and he would lose it.

Dean squeezed his eyes shut, a memory surfacing and hitting him so hard that he broke down right then and there.

_Dean got out of the Impala, a large stuffed animal hanging from his left hand. He walked over to Castiel and grinned sheepishly, feeling like a total girl for what he'd done. But when he saw the way his angel's eyes lit up, any and all regrets he may have felt were washed away. A shy smile turned up the corners of Cas' mouth as he took the stuffed animal, love sparkling in the depths of those stunning, azure irises. Dean smiled back at him._

_When they kissed chastely and pulled away, Castiel whispered too low for anyone else to hear, "I love you."_

James watched as his father's eyes glazed over for a moment as if Dean was lost in thought, but then they cleared only for the hunter to break down once more. The little boy walked over and buried himself in his father's side, bursting out in tears at the entire situation. At Castiel dying, at his baby sister being doomed to grow up with only one father, at the one father he had left being in shambles. James was young and knew so little about everything that was going on, but the child was certain that his entire world was crashing down around him.

Dean held his son close, burying his face in the dark, unruly hair that was all too similar to Castiel's.

* * *

><p>The sky was gloomy and overcast, casting no light through the stained glass windows of the church. Dean made his way up to the podium to make his speech. John and Mary, who'd been taking care of little Mary while Dean recovered, watched with grieved, forlorn expressions. Kali, who had long since taken on a mother hen attitude towards Castiel, was thinking to herself, <em>I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not…oh fuck it, where the hell are the tissues? <em>Hades sat next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and holding her to him comfortingly. Bobby sighed deeply and hung his head, grieving the angel he'd come to love as yet another son. Crowley was there as well, accompanied by Aziraphale and Kerberosel. Next to them were the Gallaghers, and next to them was Jo, Lucifer, Ellen, and Nicholas, who was turning into a spitting image of his father.

And then there was James, the teary eyed child who sat with Sam, Gabriel, Isadora, Loki, and Lily, leaning limply against the blond archangel. He hadn't spoken a word since Cas had died. Even Balthazar and Michael were in attendance, their faces dark and somber. God was there of course, silently wondering why, of all the angels, did Castiel have to be the one to die? It just wasn't _fair. _The death of any angel would have been a deep grievance, and even though it went against the belief that God was supposed to love all creations equally, he was far closer to Castiel and Gabriel than he was any of his other angels.

Dean cleared his throat and began his speech. "Castiel Winchester was, and forever will be, the love of my life. He saw beauty in every little thing, even when life was hard. When the going got tough, he was always there to remind us that there was always a ray of light, always something to hold on to. And I did find something to hold on to…I found _him_. He gave me love, hope, and two beautiful children." His voice broke slightly at the end of his last sentence.

He wiped tears from his eyes and continued. "He was an amazing father, the best friend a person could ask for, and a more incredible husband than I ever could have dreamed of. I loved him for his purity, for his kindness, for the way he devoted all of himself to each and every thing he cared for…but above all, I loved him just for being _Cas_." Dean squeezed his eyes shut, his next words directed not at the people before him, but to the man he was there in memory of. "And we'll never forget you, baby. I love you."

The crowd was in tears by the time Dean turned to the casket and laid his hand on surface, taking a shaky breath and forcing himself not to look down. Even after feeling Castiel's heart stop beating, he could still barely maintain his grip on the fact this was real, and that he'd never see Cas again. Never see his smile, never hear his laugh, never feel his kiss.

Finally, he gave up on fighting it and glanced down to where the top half of the coffin was open. Castiel looked peaceful, like he was asleep. One arm rested by his side, but his left hand had been positioned to lay on his torso, showing the wedding ring Dean had insisted he be buried in. The sight came dangerously close to undoing Dean. He shakily lifted the stuffed animal he'd had in tow all morning and tucked it under Cas' arm before backing away. He could almost hear Castiel's deep, melodious voice singing that stupid show tune, and then Dean realized just how much he would miss that lullaby. _"Ghost of the men no longer here…"_

He tried to keep it together, knowing if he didn't that he'd have a breakdown in front of everyone. So he returned to his seat next to James, swallowing back the lump in his throat. Several others made speeches, but they all sounded the same to Dean. He knew that every person speaking meant every word of it, but all he could focus on was how cold Cas had felt when he'd tucked his beloved stuffed animal under his arm. How cold…how dead. Dean moved throughout the rest of the funeral in a haze, staring blankly as he stood in the cemetery watching the coffin be lowered into the ground. _Goodbye, Cas…_he thought. _I'll always love you._

He spent that night with his children. James still hadn't spoken, and Mary wasn't old enough to even process what was happening. Dean felt like his entire family was broken. Sam had offered to come home with him and keep him company, and Dean had thanked him but told him he needed some time alone. Mary was asleep in the nursery, so it was just James and Dean, sitting on the couch. The small boy curled close to his father, nestling deep into Dean's arms and comforting himself with the familiar scent of his dad.

It was a surprise to Dean when his son spoke for the first time since Castiel's death. "Why did my other daddy have to go away?"

"I wish I knew," Dean whispered, drawing James even closer. "He told me to tell you how much he loved you."

"I miss him daddy," James said, his lower lip wobbling.

Dean looked down at his wedding band. "I miss him too. But just know…even though he's not here, he'll always be up in Heaven watching over us."

"But I want him down here!" James wailed, losing himself in a fit of sobs.

Dean knew there was nothing he could say, just like there was nothing anyone could say to Dean to make losing Cas any easier. So he just held James until the boy cried himself to sleep, and then knowing James wouldn't want to wake up by himself, Dean tucked James into bed with him for the night instead of having him sleep alone. As Dean fell asleep with his son, he couldn't help but think that Cas should have been in bed with them too, just like he always was when James had a nightmare and crawled in bed with his parents.

Dean spent the entire night awake, watching over his son as he slept and mourning the lost life of his husband.

Unbeknownst to the hunter, his life would once more change drastically...in only twelve years' time.


	6. Livin' In a Shell With No Soul

***Sorry for the wait! Oh, and though she was absent from chapter 5, Kim is back in this one, she wrote the Isadora scene :D**

**Author's Note:**

**Hey everyone, thanks so much for all of the amazing feedback! Your reviews always make me so happy and my muse bunny appreciates them as well ;D I am very sorry for all the angst (I've handed out more virtual tissues via review replies than I care to count) and this chapter is still pretty heavy on angst, but I promise it does get better with time! There is a plot starting to unfold, and it starts with this chapter :-)**** This is another 12 years later thing, this time with more plot and less introduction. Huge thanks to Reaper's Curse for recommending the song "World So Cold" for James! And thanks to anonymous-unknown for the inspiration, she knows what I'm talking about ;-)**

**Again, thank you all SO MUCH for your continued support and encouragement!**

* * *

><p><strong>*Flash Forward - Twelve Years Later*<strong>

Kerberosel looked out the window of his second story room and saw the Gallagher twins walking up the driveway. They didn't live far away. The only way to tell them apart was their skin tone; Bones' skin was just a little lighter than that of the rest of his family. Today they both wore hoodies; Lucifer's was black, Bones' was dark blue. Like almost all supernaturals, they were both beautiful. Dark, sleek hair, piercing blue eyes, flawless skin…too perfect to be human.

Before long Lucifer was sticking his head into Kerberosel's room, his bangs flopping into his eyes as he did so. "Hey bitch."

"Hello _Lucy_," Kerberosel replied, smirking.

Lucifer grinned and walked over to the window seat, picking Kerberosel's feet up off the end, sitting down, and dropping them back onto his lap. His skin looked even darker than usual when it was against the paleness of Kerberosel's ankles. He looked out the window, following his friend's gaze. Kerberosel had one of those faraway, distant looks that he only got when he was thinking too hard.

"Think much harder and the smoke alarms are gonna go off," Lucifer remarked.

"Sorry."

Lucifer shrugged. "Don't have to apologize. So, what _are_ you thinking about so hard?"

"I'm just having one of my feelings…one of my really bad feelings."

Lucifer knew what that meant. Kerberosel wasn't exactly psychic, but whenever he got these "bad feelings," something terrible was about to happen. The first time it had happened was the night of Castiel's death. Four years old and terrified, Kerberosel had run up to Aziraphale and wailed that something was wrong with Uncle Cas. By the time Zira called the Winchester home, more to put his son at ease than anything else, Castiel was already dead. No one had doubted Kerberosel's instincts since.

Knowing how stressed the half angel/half demon got when one of these feelings took place, Lucifer reached over and placed his hand over Kerberosel's. "Do you think someone's in danger?"

"Loki…we need to check on Loki," he whispered softly, shaking under his dark brown blazer.

Lucifer pulled out his cell phone, pulling Kerberosel to him and tucking his friend under his arm. Trembling in fear he hadn't felt in years, Kerberosel buried his face in Lucifer's shoulder and silently prayed to Above, Below, and Beyond that Loki would answer his phone and say he was perfectly fine. He felt small and fragile and delicate under Lucifer's arm…like he could be broken by the slightest movement.

Kerberosel closed his eyes, feeling Lucifer tense beside him and knowing that his feeling had, as always, been correct.

"_How long will this take, how much can I go through?_

_My heart, my soul aches, I don't know what to do_

_I bend, but don't break, and somehow get through_

'_Cause I have you_

_And if I have to crawl, will you crawl too?_

_I stumble and I fall, carry me through."_

_~Crawl by Superchick_

* * *

><p>Loki woke up, his head pounding as he struggled to remember what had happened before he'd fallen unconscious. He remembered something breaking his window, the evening light casting long shadows behind the two men as they covered Loki's mouth to smother his screams. He recalled hearing ancient, powerful Enochian chanting that cancelled out his powers, leaving him defenseless against his captors. They had slammed his head into the wall, successfully knocking him out. Now, as he awoke in complete and total darkness, he remembered the color of their eyes and realized who, or rather what, he was dealing with. The realization had a shiver wrapping around him, leaving him cold down to the bone.<p>

Demons.

* * *

><p><em>Twelve years. Twelve long years since my father, Castiel, died giving birth to my baby sister. I still remember him as, just like Dean, the most amazing father a boy could ask for. He'd tell me stories of Heaven, sing me some Broadway knockoff tune as a lullaby, and wait with open arms when I had a nightmare and crawled in bed with him and Dean. Those were just the four years I knew him, though. Grandpa only knows what kind of life we could have led had he lived to see me grow.<em>

_And oh, did I grow. I look just like him, only with my other father's green eyes. The older I get, the further away Dean pushes me. He loves me, but I'm just too painful of a reminder of his dead husband, my dead father. That doesn't mean it hurts any less when he looks at me and I know he's looking _through_ me…he's seeing Cas. He's not even realizing I'm there…he's just twisting my features around and seeing the love of his life, clinging to the image as long as possible before it fades away and he's stuck with me instead. Sometimes I swear I can see disappointment in his eyes when he can no longer visualize me as the man he pines for. But…he's the only father I have. I hold my silence._

_Mary is blessed to have nothing more of her angelic father than his eyes. She has perfect fair skin, sapphire blue eyes, and her grandmother's wavy golden locks. God she's beautiful. Like a goddess. Her smile, her laugh…sometimes I forget she's only half angel. And well…she got one other thing from Cas. His singing voice. When she sings, it's like hearing the choirs of Heaven, all condensed into one petite little body. Mary Grace Winchester…such an elegant name for such an elegant, beautiful girl. I wouldn't trade her for anything._

_But...down to the point of this entry. Sometimes I feel like I don't have a purpose. I know that Dean loves me, and Mary adores me, not to mention all of my friends that are like extended family, but…my life feels empty. Even as I look back on earlier entries in this journal, I see nothing but grief, pain, and loneliness. Remaining strong isn't as easy as one might think. It's not just pushing your losses to the back of your mind; it's actually trying to carry on with your life as though nothing's happened. Call me weak, but I can't. Not anymore._

_I suppose giving in is weak indeed, but pathetically enough, I'm far beyond caring. Dean has Mary; Mary has Dean. They'll be fine on their own. I can't bring myself to regret this choice that I'm making. I tell myself that maybe, I'll finally be able to see my guardian angel, my father, my Castiel. I'll be with my father at last…the father I never got the chance to know for more than four years._

_If anyone is to find this…please tell my family that I love them._

_-James R. Winchester_

James closed the old, leather bound journal and tucked it under the mattress. He sat down on the edge of the bed and unsheathed his angel blade from its leg holster. Castiel's angel blade, actually. It glinted under the soft lights of his room. Long, silver, graceful…and absolutely deadly. He was holding the blade that had felled countless angels, that had been the possession of a wrathful soldier feared even by the Host of Heaven. _Castiel_. The warrior, the mate, the father.

He sucked air into his lungs and rolled up the sleeve of his button down, exposing the long vein stretching down his arm and going down to his wrist. _I'm sorry…_he thought, pressing the blade down against his arm. Blood welled up, bright red and trickling down the side of his wrist, a drop falling to the floor. Before he lost his nerve, he used all his strength and slashed his wrist open, as deep as he could. Dizziness overtook him as blood poured out.

The blade dropped to the ground with a metallic _clang, _and he collapsed lifelessly onto the floor.

"_I feel so numb, I can't come to life_

_I feel like I'm frozen in time_

_Livin' in a world so cold, wasting away_

_Livin' in a shell with no soul_

_Since you've gone away."_

_~World So Cold by Three Days Grace_

* * *

><p>"Come on James, dinner's ready!" Dean yelled from downstairs, sitting a platter of fried chicken down on the table. He'd taken over the cooking after Castiel's passing.<p>

Mary was already in the kitchen; she'd been helping her father cook. She wore simple faded skinny jeans and a white tank top, but even at twelve she looked ethereal. Dean figured in a few years he'd have to start beating the boys off of her with a baseball bat. He knew from firsthand experience that all it took was one look from a pair of those big, seemingly innocent blue eyes and you were sucked in for life. With Castiel's eyes, she could have any man she wanted. Dean was not particularly pleased about that.

"James, dinner!" Mary yelled after her brother didn't come downstairs.

Still no reply. She sighed and trudged upstairs, figuring he was plugged into his laptop again, playing some music in the background while he worked on some AP assignment or another. Both of the Winchester children were extremely smart, with knowledge well beyond human kids their age, no doubt thanks to their angel heritage. Surprisingly, no sound came from within his room.

"James?" she said softly, pushing the door open.

* * *

><p>Isadora sighed as her 'Mommy' continued to rant and rave about the 'immorality' of her little Vegas vacation. Please, he was just jealous that he didn't get a weekend away to spend a night or two with a hot young Greek God she met there. Isadora examined her nails, waiting for the tirade - which by the way she wasn't listening to - to end. Bored, she snapped a cherry lollipop into existence and sat disinterested as Gabriel grew redder in the face whilst Sam hung back glaring with his high and mighty 'This is my serious John Winchester impression fear me' look. She smirked as she imagined her dad's cheeks puffing up like a pouting chipmunk. She never really knew why but she'd always loved chipmunks. Weird huh?<p>

Small snickers caught her attention to the right. Glancing out of the corner of her eye Isadora spotted her younger twelve year old brother Nathan (Nate) mouthing 'Busted.' She mouthed back 'Not for long.' Nate was born the year their Uncle Castiel passed away, he was a little younger than Mary Grace but you couldn't tell with how brash he was. Their family was a bit horrified to learn that like herself, he took after Gabriel.

He was was also interested in treasure hunting, and had planned adventures searching caverns for maps that led to ancient forgotten cities and golden statues. That was the fun part. The sad part was that he also reminded them of Cas. He had black hair like Grampa John and as well as his blue eyes. Okay so he was actually a mini John Winchester but Gabriel sorely missed his lil bro and often caught himself whenever Nate had his back to him, displaying just a flash of blackish brown hair. Not wanting to dwell on depressing thoughts, Isadora also noticed her other younger siblings peeking around the corner to find out what was going on.

After Nate there was her sisters; ten year olds Astella (blonde, amber eyes) and Marci (brunette, blue eyes), her younger brothers nine year old Atton (dark Brunette, brown eyes), eight year old Jayden (blonde, brown eyes) and seven year old Jasper (brunette, amber eyes and freckles). Isadora made a note to herself about finally grabbing her parents a box of condoms and explaining how to use them.

Her last sister who was fourteen entered, leaning on the doorway with eyebrow neatly raised. Ah, dear Lily. Isadora had trouble getting along with her perfect, green eyed, blonde haired, rule abiding sister. They were like night and day, ying and yang, fun and boring. Where Izzy would hop aboard a train not checking the destination with nothing but the clothes on her back, Lily would study all time tables in advance, pack a strategic backpack and triple check the her plans for three months beforehand. Ugh. barf!

She was getting so sick of her parents saying "Why can't you behave more like Lily?" Or "Lily would never do this!" Lily, Lily, Lily, LILY! If it wasn't for Loki precious Lily would have been on Pandora years ago! Through no fault of her own of course... mwuhahaha. Still, it wasn't like she really hated her sister, it just drove her mad these hypocrites telling her to be more responsible when helloooo she was the daughter of an ex-trickster.

On that thought she looked at Gabriel, huh still ranting; her cherry sucker was nearly down to the stick. She yawned as he paused to take a breath. "That's charming and all Mom but can we make this quick? I got a party to get to."

Gabriel clenched his teeth, ready to start another yelling match when Sam intoned quietly, "Do you have any idea how much we worried?"

Izzy rolled her eyes. Well yeah, she'd have to be an idiot not to have noticed, after all Mommy dearest had only said that line seven times already. It wasn't like she did this to purposely cause her parents grief, she was just looking for a good time and they should have more faith that she can take care of herself. Sheesh if Loki was in this conversation he'd say as much. In a much politer way, probably. Then the whole matter would be swept under the rug until her next epic adventure to see the spearmint rhino. Speaking of her twin, where the heck was he? Then again, knowing his nerdy ass, most likely studying.

"Well?" Gabriel asked seriously.

Isadora blinked and looking up. "Huh? I wasn't listening. Sorry."

She leaned back comfortably…this was gonna take a while.

_"So before I put another notch in my lipstick case_

_You better make sure you put me in my place."_

_~Hit Me With Your Best Shot by Pat Benatar_

* * *

><p>Dean sat plates out on the table, wishing as always that there was a fourth place setting. Twelve years later, he never stopped missing his husband. He still wore his wedding ring, still turned down any offers he received from women, or men for that matter. Cas would want him to be happy and he knew that, but he remained faithful to his angel even when they were separated. He'd been given a few drunken blowjobs when he'd sought solace in the bottom of a whiskey bottle, but it meant nothing. They were just brief distractions, just nameless men he imagined to be Cas when he closed his eyes.<p>

He walked into the living room and stared at the photos lining the mantle of the fireplace. His favorites were the wedding picture and the portrait James had sketched of the entire family. Dean, Cas, and James and Mary at their current ages were all drawn to perfection, forming the family photo that never was and never could be. And the wedding picture…it was so beautiful it almost hurt to look at. Cas looked more like an angel than ever in his solid white suit, his eyes sparkling as he smiled and held up his and Dean's joint hands for the camera. Their rings could be seen clearly. Dean choked back a lump in his throat, his fingers reaching out to touch the frame.

Then he heard Mary scream.


	7. Your Dried Blood On My Fingertip

"_There's dried blood on your wrist_

_Your dried blood on my fingertip."_

_~Wires by Athlete_

"His pulse isn't slowing down!"

"Doctor, we're losing him!"

"Call down to the nurse's station, tell them to order a blood transfusion!"

"Pulse going erratic again, sir!"

Four voices, all screaming at twenty-nine year old Doctor Joseph Noir, the hospital's own personal prodigy. So young, but the man was a genius. Right now he stood over a sixteen year old suicide victim. He didn't care that most people considered suicide self inflicted, he thought them not to be victims of themselves, but victims of a mental state which they couldn't control. Quiet as the doctor may appear, he was one of the most empathetic, opinionated people there at the hospital.

He pushed a lock of silky, ink black hair out of his eyes. Emergency cases always got his adrenaline going, which was sometimes the only thing that kept him sane. "Nurse Reid, go out to the waiting room and ask his father what his blood type is. Nurse Shaw, prep him for a transfusion. Nurse Wiley and Nurse Taylor…keep doing what you're doing."

They immediately set off to do their appointed tasks. His voice was soft, low, and sometimes nearly inaudible, but it also had a sense of underlying authority to it. Regardless of how young he was, he was respected and obeyed. And right now the life of a sixteen year old boy was in his hands. It wasn't the first time a child's life had relied on his, but it never got any easier, knowing one wrong move on his part could determine whether his patient lived or died. This particular patient had a father, sister, and large group of friends out there, waiting for someone, _praying_ for someone, to tell them that this young man would be okay.

And with all of this in mind, Doctor Noir set to work.

* * *

><p>In a state of unconsciousness, quite possibly a coma, James slid into a sweet, peaceful memory.<p>

"_What if I can't hold on daddy?"_

_Castiel smiled warmly, the mid afternoon light making his eyes shine as beautifully as ever, the sun bringing out the shiny brown highlights in his hair. "Just hold on for me sweetheart, I'll be right here."_

_James tentatively climbed into the swing, Dean behind him and Castiel in front of him. He felt strong but gentle hands push his back, and then he was in the air, arcing upwards. Fear was the first thing that came to mind, but then once he continued to be pushed, he realized he loved it. Laughing gleefully, he kept yelling "Higher!" every time Dean pushed him. Four years old and so full of life. Then again so was Cas, who was due in only two short weeks._

_His angelic father had promised to catch him, so as the swing flew into the air and when it reached its highest point, James let go and fell…right into Castiel's arms. The angel smiled and spun him around, the boy squealing happily. Cas pulled James close and kissed his forehead, ruffling the mop of messy hair on his son's head. Dean watched the two with a fond smile._

"_Love you daddy," James said._

_Cas kissed him on the forehead again. "Love you too sweetheart."_

Castiel's words reached James, even in his sleep. _**"Just hold on for me sweetheart, I'll be right here."**_

* * *

><p>It could have been days. It could have been hours. It could have been minutes.<p>

For all they knew, it could have been mere seconds since Dean had walked into the emergency room, carrying his lifeless son in his arms. But now they all sat in the hard plastic chairs, waiting for some kind of word. A nurse came out and asked them what James' blood type was so they could give him a transfusion, but when Dean brokenly asked if his son was going to be okay, she assumed an unreadable expression and simply said they were doing their best.

Technically James was type A negative, but given his Nephilim genes, Isadora immediately piped up and offered her own blood since they were the same type. The nurse thankfully didn't ask questions, and after she checked with Sam and Gabriel that it was acceptable since Isadora was a minor, she took the girl back to draw blood. Dean could only watch blankly, tears prickling the corners of his eyes. It was like the night Cas died all over again. Only this time, he had a twelve year old daughter crying into his shoulder.

Kerberosel swept in, his parents and Lucifer right behind him. "We came as soon as we heard…oh Dean, Mary, I'm so sorry…"

"Yeah, me too," Lucifer added solemnly.

"Is he going to be okay?" Kerberosel asked, sitting down across from Dean.

"They don't know," the hunter said, his tone flat and cold.

Crowley and Aziraphale took seats to Kerberosel's right, Lucifer taking one to his left. "Is there anything we can do, love?" Aziraphale asked.

Dean shook his head numbly. While Kerberosel and Aziraphale fussed over the very stressed Dean and Mary, Lucifer walked over and sat down next to Sam and Gabriel, running a hand through his shaggy hair and over his pierced left eyebrow. The ran outside had his hoodie clinging to him, and his black beanie was soaked as well. He felt like a drowned rat…and may or may not have smelled like wet dog.

"I don't guess you two have seen Loki recently…" he started awkwardly.

The phone had only rung twice earlier when he'd called before he'd got a sudden feeling of utter wrongness, and then not five seconds later Aziraphale had raced upstairs, saying Dean had called and James had tried to kill himself. Of course Lucifer and Kerberosel and then gotten in the car with Crowley and Aziraphale, Bones staying and calling his parents to let them know what was going on. Needless to say contacting Loki had gotten pushed aside.

Sam sighed. "He's spent all week studying for his end of grade tests, we would have told him but his music wasn't on that he always listens to while he's studying and I figured he was asleep. He may be half archangel, but he's also half human and he needs his rest. I didn't want to wake him."

"Why do you ask?" Gabriel added.

Lucifer glanced over at Kerberosel, then back at Sam and Gabriel. He prayed Kerberosel wasn't wrong about this (not that he wanted Loki to be hurt, but you get the idea) or he was going to look like a paranoid idiot. "I think your son might be in danger."

* * *

><p>Green eyes opened, staring blearily up at the ceiling.<p>

Pain…numbness…darkness…he remembered all of it.

Now he just felt groggy and drugged out. Both of which he probably was, if he was correct in thinking that he was in a hospital room. He looked around, seeing the bleak room and a doctor standing nearby, watching him over the edge of black glasses and wearing a pristine white lab coat. Yep, hospital. Great.

James groaned and muttered, "What happened?"

The tall, blue eyed man walked over and stood at the side of James' bed. "Your wrist was slashed open, your sister found you unconscious. But you're going to be fine now." His voice was soft and husky, something James was grateful for given that he had a slight headache.

"Where're my dad and sister?"

"Outside in the waiting room. They didn't want to leave your side but we needed room to work. I'll go tell them your awake," he said, his eyes an icy shade of crystal blue and looking all too light against his pale skin. The only dark thing about the man was his messy black hair. Thankfully he was too tall and too lanky to remind James of Cas…he couldn't have handled that reminder right now.

James nodded weakly and dropped his head back against the pillows once more, heaving out a sigh. Had he really tried to kill himself? So maybe Dean couldn't always look at him the same, and maybe dealing with the death of his father was painful even twelve years later, but he realized right then that his family _needed_ him. Loved him and needed him like air. His angelic powers allowed him to feel their worry, feel the overwhelming relief that poured through them when Joseph told them he was going to be okay. He cursed himself for ever putting them through this.

Dean and Mary walked in, and James had never been happier to see them.

* * *

><p>Doctor Noir waited outside James' room for a few minutes before his cell phone started ringing. Sighing, he wandered a little ways down the hall and flipped it open. "Hello?"<p>

"Joseph, long time no hear that lovely voice of yours," said a low, sultry voice.

He pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "Eva…what do you want?"

"Is that any way to treat your ex fiancé?" she asked in reply, a pout in her voice.

"My fiancé's dead, you're just some piece of trash demon that took her away from me," he spat harshly.

Five years ago, his beloved fiancé Eva LaSelle had been possessed by a demon and tried to kill him. He'd gotten away, but unfortunately said demon had a way of finding him, and though she never made any more attempts on his life, she loved to torment him with teasing and phone calls. It was a constant reminder that a monster was walking around in the love of his life's body. The demon had Eva's soft, curly auburn hair, and Eva's big brown eyes, but she wasn't his Eva.

"Watch it, Dolittle. I could kill you any time I please," she growled, her tune changing completely. "I need something from you."

"From me? I didn't think demons got colds," he said acidly.

"Shut up smartass. I have a little friend here that keeps wakin' up, and he's just all sorts of feisty. I need a sedative for the little bugger. Unfortunately we need him alive." He knew by "we" that she meant the other demons; he knew that she was the leader of a group of powerful, high ranking demons that were all obsessed with more power, more power, more power.

"Let him go!" he said immediately, tensing at the idea of an innocent human in the middle of it.

"No can do sweetheart. Now get me a very strong sedative, meet me at your car in thirty minutes, and come alone, or I send one of my dearest friends to kill you and every one of your patients."

Joseph's protest was silenced by the sound of dial tone. He stared down at the now closed phone, wishing he'd never gotten involved with the supernatural. It had its hooks in…and it was reeling him in more by the day, try as he might to escape its grip. Eva…the bait. The demons…the hook. Him…the fish that would end up out of its element, gasping for breath and succumbing to death at the hands of its captors.

He'd never liked fish, he might add.

* * *

><p>Dean pulled James right up off the bed, mindless of the needles and tubes, holding his son with bruising closeness. Tonight he'd thought he had once more lost someone he loved. His own flesh and blood. To think he might not see that smile (however rare it may be) or look over his son's shoulder as he sketched or argue over who got first dibs on the baseball bat whenever a guy looked at Mary the wrong way. God…he couldn't believe he'd almost lost his baby boy. Because age and currently fragile bond aside, James would forever be his baby boy. At that moment, Dean realized how much he'd failed his son and vowed to change that for the better.<p>

"Dad…" James whispered, pulling his arms free of the needles and wrapping them around his father.

"Jamie…" Dean whispered back, using a nickname his son hadn't heard in years. "I was so damn scared. And god, I'm sorry I haven't been there more, I'm so sorry."

James buried his face in Dean's shoulder, his voice muffled when he said, "You're here now."

"And I'm never letting you feel that alone, not ever again."

Mary added herself in, worming her way into James' side and wrapping her arms around his waist. He kept one arm around Dean and wound his other around his sister, holding them as close as his still weakened body would allow. They all clung to each other with a desperation that was stronger than any words, more powerful than any promise or vow. Like any great strength, it was a bond beyond words, a closeness beyond rationality. It was, if such a small word can be used on such an unbreakable force, _family_.

"I love you guys," Dean murmured.

Tears gathered on Mary's lashes. "We love you too daddy."


	8. Run This Town Part 1

**Author's Note:**

**I warn that this will be another one of my insanely long A/Ns, feel free to bitch me out for these in a review :P For starters, the beginning of this chapter has some one sided Crowley/OC as requested by Reaper's Curse, but fear not Crowziraphale fans, it stays one sided and isn't a HUGE part of the story! I know this is pretty much OC-centric and I'm sorry if that's getting on anyone's nerves, but the canon characters won't be around as much until later parts of the story, which has a more complex and migraine inducing plot than my little brain wants to wrap around sometimes. But I love you all for hanging in there with me! And second, the drama is kind of increased in this chapter!**

**And I have some bad news :'( Starting tomorrow I will be losing Internet for a couple of weeks, so I'm sorry to say that there is an itsy bitsy cliffhanger that won't be resolved until I get Internet back in the beginning of September. Farewell until then, my friends! *waves***

**And to commemorate this fic's prequel: Allons-y!**

* * *

><p>"<em>Feel it coming in the air, hear the screams from everywhere<em>

_I'm addicted to the thrill, it's a dangerous love affair_

_Can't be scared when it goes down, got a problem tell me now_

_Only thing that's on my mind, is whose gonna run this town tonight."_

_~Run This Town by Rihanna_

Bones Gallagher sat in Crowley and Aziraphale's living room, looking around anxiously. Lucifer had said he'd keep Bones posted before he left for the hospital, and he'd called just a few minutes ago to inform him that James was alive and going to be fine. Now Bones was waiting for Lucifer to get back since he had the car keys in his pocket, and though Bones was half demigod and could shadow travel, it was exhausting and he saved that ability for emergencies. So now he was stuck in this immaculate living room, though thankfully he didn't feel out of place. With as much time as Lucifer spent with Kerberosel, this house was like a second home.

Unfortunately for Bones, he also had what Lucifer liked to mockingly call a "crush" on Crowley. Crowley, a married man with a son. Crowley, a demon whose vessel was far too old for Bones anyways. Crowley, who was way out of bounds. But that didn't help Bones, who'd developed a crush on the demon when Bones was just thirteen, a crush that had turned into something much deeper over the years. Lucifer was the only one who knew and mocked his twin relentlessly over it. But it wasn't like Bones had _meant_ to fall in love with Crowley.

He could sympathize with Kerberosel. The delicate British blond had been in love with Lucifer for who knows how long, but Lucifer had never looked at him twice and probably never would. Just like Crowley, who was head over heels in love with Aziraphale and didn't seem to know Bones existed. Kerberosel and Bones had never really talked that much, but they seemed to have more in common than either had ever realized. Sighing, Bones leaned back on the couch and stared up at the ceiling. Of all the people, why did it have to be Crowley?

* * *

><p>Sam and Gabriel stared at Lucifer. "Danger?" Sam repeated, his broad shoulders visibly tensing under his shirt.<p>

"How do you know?" Gabriel asked.

Lucifer blew his bangs out his face. "Kerberosel. He's got one of those…ESP feeling thingies."

Gabriel withdrew his phone with shaking hands. "I'm calling Loki, if he doesn't answer we're going home to check on him."

Lucifer was about to tell them to skip calling Loki and to just go home right _now_, but a familiar wail of pain reached his ears and he was by Kerberosel's side in a split second. Kerberosel was clutching his head, eyes squeezed shut. Crowley and Aziraphale immediately tried to crowd closer to check on their son, but Lucifer shot a feral growl at them. They may be Kerberosel's parents, but Lucifer was the one who best knew how to handle these situations, as he had a low level psychic ability of his own even though it only extended to blood related family members.

"They're hurting him," Kerberosel gasped around the pain, shaking.

This wasn't good. Despite his "feelings," Kerberosel had never psychically connected to the person he believed to be in danger. Lucifer grabbed him and hauled him out of the hospital before a doctor tried to admit him; tubes and needles weren't going to help Kerberosel right now. Aziraphale shot up to follow them, but Crowley grabbed the angel's arms and warned him not to crowd Kerberosel. Zira reluctantly sat back down by Crowley, the demon taking his hands and stilling them when Zira started drumming his nails worriedly against the arm of the chair.

"Lucifer…I don't know what's happening…" Kerberosel said, leaning on his friend for support. "It's like my head's burning, like it's going to explode…"

"Deep breaths, just try to breathe," Lucifer urged.

As they stood outside on the sidewalk, Kerberosel looked up at Lucifer with lifeless brown eyes. "You have to find Loki…"

Then his eyes rolled back in his head and he fainted, his body dropping like it was made of cement. Lucifer caught him easily, sinking to one knee on the ground and laying Kerberosel's unconscious body out in front of him, the half breed's head propped on his knee. Lucifer worriedly stroked his hand through Kerberosel's light blond curls. Never before had the "feelings" gotten this strong, and this was certainly the first time Kerberosel had passed out. If it wasn't for the steady rise and fall of his chest, Lucifer would worry he was dead with how pale and still he was.

"Come on bitch, wake up, please..." Lucifer whispered.

* * *

><p>A hard slap to the face woke Loki. He found himself bound tightly to a chair, intricate Enochian sigils carved into it and preventing him from moving. When his vision stopped being blurry around the edges, he could make out a figure standing in front of him. A glance upwards found a beautiful redheaded demon, her eyes sparkling with malice and her hand prepared to strike again. This time her nails caught his skin when she hit him, leaving bloody, jagged marks to mar his right cheek.<p>

"Who are you?" he asked hoarsely.

She smirked. "Your worst nightmare, kid."

He couldn't hold back a laugh at that. "Don't you know an overused line when you say one?"

She slapped him yet again, so hard that his head whipped painfully to the side. "You'd best not make me angry."

"Isadora said that when she got her first period, but I still survived it."

Her eyes flashed black in her fury at being patronized. Loki may be the quiet and smart type, but he also knew how to slide right under someone's skin and drive them crazy. He used his fearless remarks to mask his underlying terror at being trapped with this demon, completely defenseless and left to her mercy. The chair he was chained too was carved with anti-angel symbols and the chains that held him were soaked in holy oil; he had no chance of escape.

"What do you want?"

Eva smiled and crouched in front of him, keeping her eyes black just to unnerve him. "You, my sweet little angel. All that power, all those abilities…they're really being put to waste with that watered down little Brady Bunch family of yours. What is something with your power doing living behind a white picket fence, hmm?"

He spat a mouthful of blood in her face. "It's a wrought iron fence, you bitch."

He felt the sting of a needle in the crook of his arm, and before he could process what had happened, he blacked out.

* * *

><p><em>It's my body…this is my mind…I'm looking out through my eyes…but I can't speak. Can't scream. Can't move. I can look down at my forearm and see where the demons literally took a knife and hacked off the patch of skin I'd tattooed with an anti possession symbol, feel the blood running down my arm. The sight of so much blood and of a section of my skin being removed would probably make me sick if I wasn't a doctor and mostly immune to the gore I see walk in and out of the emergency room every day. <em>

_I fight and claw and try to scream my way out of this cage, so I can be in control of my body again. I remember meeting up with Eva, a fake sedative in hand. She took one look at it, grabbed me by the throat, and asked me just how stupid did I think she was. Two other demons were with her, and I watched in horror as one shot out of its vessel, black smoke polluting the air for only a moment. Because then…oh god. I remember now._

Joseph's thoughts came to an abrupt halt as the realization struck him. He was possessed by a demon.

* * *

><p>Dean watched over James as he slept in the hospital bed with Mary curled up against his side. He had no idea how long he'd been there, but he wasn't leaving until he could take James with him. His son still looked pale, but there was a little more color in his cheeks and his eyes had looked a little more alert last time he'd been awake. Dean looked at the messy brown hair, thinking about how Castiel's had looked the exact same way in the mornings right after he woke up. He closed his eyes, a flashback arriving in the front of his mind and forcing him to remember something he really, really didn't want to, simply because he knew he would never know such love again.<p>

_Dean woke up, the late morning light filtering through the thin curtains of the motel room and shining down on his face. Sam had wanted his own room for once because he couldn't concentrate on his research with Dean blaring Foreigner, which was just fine with the hunter, because that had led to the most amazing night of his life. He fondly thought back to the filthy, hard kisses, the feverish presses of skin to skin, and the deliciously slow descent into sex._

_Last night had been his first time with Cas._

_Right now the angel was still asleep, his back pressed against Dean's chest and his hair still in even more of disarray than usual thanks to the hours they'd spent devouring each other over and over again last night. The memory gave Dean a little "morning problem," though he was amazed his mind could even wrap around sex with how many times he'd gone at it with Cas last night. He couldn't think of a position they hadn't ended up in. And god help him, all he wanted was to take Cas again, right fucking now._

_He started trailing his lips down the side of Castiel's neck, lightly worrying the skin with his tongue and teeth. Cas awoke at the feeling and leaned, half conscious, back against Dean, baring his throat to his human. Dean pulled the angel onto his back and straddled him, leaning down and catching his lips in a kiss. Their tongues rubbed together in their mouths, and soon they were kissing in a hot frenzy._

_Even as their sweat slicked bodies moved together, tangled up in the sheets, they had no idea what they would come to mean to each other._

Dean rubbed his eyes, hoping he was imagining that tears had gathered in them. That night and morning had been some of the best moments of his life…and now he'd never kiss Cas again, never feel the height of pleasure as he made love to the angel long into the night and through the morning. It sounded so much like a bad line out of a tragic chick flick, but losing Cas had been like someone peeling three layers of skin off and leaving everything he was exposed, vulnerable to whatever may come along and tear down the little defenses he'd managed to build back up since his husband had died.

* * *

><p>The nurse had wanted Isadora to rest after the blood transfusion, but soon enough she was leaving the room and going out into the hall, the nurse saying she would be back in a moment to escort Izzy back to the waiting room. Isadora looked around the suspiciously deserted hallway, which was empty save for herself now that the nurse had disappeared down a side hall. <em>Where the hell is everyone? <em>she wondered.

Then she felt the blade of a knife pressing into her neck, a voice whispering, "Make a sound, and I'll slit your pretty throat."

...

**To Be Continued In "Run This Town Part 2" **


	9. Run This Town Part 2

**Author's Note:**

**Ughhhh...*bangs head into desk* My muse bunny keeps dragging me away from this to work on my smutty model!Dean/photographer!Cas AU fic, though I still haven't posted it yet.**

**ANYWAYS. Miracle of miracles, I have Internet back! I would first like to apologize for how dreadfully boring this must be (the writer can never really embody a reader, try as I might) but I PROMISE *crosses heart* that it is about to get seriously OMG worthy. Castiel and Dean's storyline isn't as over as you may think! This is part 2 of Run This Town (well, duh, I'm sure you read the chapter name...don't mind me, I'm tired and grouchy) and short, sorry. Unfortunately Kim has been unable to co-write recently as she hasn't had anything to add, but I hope to soon give you guys some more of her awesomeness! Thanks to those of you who have stuck with me :-)**

**Well...*motions to fic* Read away! **

***faceplants on laptop and starts snoring* **

* * *

><p>"<em>Life's a game but it's not fair, I break the rules so I don't care<em>

_So I keep doin' my own thing, walkin' tall against the rain_

_Victory's within the mile, almost there don't give up now_

_Only thing that's on my mind_

_Is whose gonna run this town tonight."_

_~Run This Town by Rihanna_

Kerberosel finally woke up some time later, though when he did he was pale and weak. "Lucifer?" he rasped, blinking up at his friend.

"Right here," he reassured, helping Kerberosel to his feet.

"What happened?"

"You fainted, dude. Said that we had to find Loki, and then you fainted."

Kerberosel nodded shakily. "Before I blacked out, I saw images…visions. Loki's tied up somewhere, and a woman was force feeding him demon blood. The details are fuzzy, I don't even know what she looks like, it was all pretty much a blur."

"Demon blood? With Sam's history with that stuff, that's the last thing Loki needs."

"I know," Kerberosel agreed. "That's why we have to find him before it's too late. Sam went dark side after he got on demon blood…imagine what would happen to someone with Loki's power. It'll be the Apocalypse all over again."

* * *

><p>"<em>I'm dreaming, aren't I?" Dean asked. "You're not real."<em>

"_I am a figment of your imagination, Dean. You control this dream."_

"_But I want you to be real…god, I miss you," Dean whispered._

_Dean heaved out a sigh and pulled dream-Cas closer, burying his face in that thick mop of dark hair he adored so much. In his dream they were sitting on a beach, the sun setting over the water beyond them. Cas sat with his back against Dean's chest and Dean's arms wrapped around his waist. The hunter knew it was a dream, but it felt so real. Even subconsciously he regretted that he would have to awake from this dream, only to find the man he was holding to be dead once more, reality crashing back down like it always did._

_Dean pressed a kiss to the imaginary Cas' temple. "I love you."_

"_I love you too," Cas said, smiling softly._

_They sat that way for what felt like hours, their bodies twined together and sharing warmth as the sun set and relinquished the warm breeze to the chill of twilight. Castiel's head fell back against Dean's shoulder, his eyes closed as he let the breeze pleasantly ruffle his hair. It was so surreal…so utterly peaceful. Dean could have stayed that way forever. He breathed in the earthy but light scent of Castiel; a scent entirely unique to an angel._

"_Dean?"_

"_Hmm?"_

"_Dean." It was more insistent this time._

"_Yeah Cas?"_

"Dean!"

Dean shot into an upright position, wakefulness crashing over him like tides over the shores of his dream beach. Sam stood over him, telling him that he'd been out for a few hours and that the doctors had okayed it for James to go home. Dean yawned and stretched, the wedding ring he still wore feeling heavier than ever. The dream had felt so damn real…he could almost still feel the reassuring weight of Castiel in his arms, smell the natural fragrance of his hair.

But the sight of James, awake and dressed, made the burden of missing Castiel that much easier to handle, though it did not by any means make Dean miss him any less. Dean smiled and stood up, throwing an arm around his son's shoulders and guiding him out of the hospital room that smelled uncomfortably of sickness and antiseptics. James smiled too, feeling more at ease with his father than he had in years. He finally felt he had a purpose, he finally realized that _living_ was purpose enough by itself. It was good to actually feel needed again.

If only he knew just how needed he would be in the coming weeks…

* * *

><p>What the person holding the knife to Isadora's throat hadn't counted on was how fast her reflexes were. She stomped down on the instep of the man behind her and spun around a fraction of a second after, grabbing his wrist and crushing the bones in it, his wail of pain echoing through the empty halls as the knife dropped to the ground. The demon's formerly blue eyes flashed solid black, but by the time its wrist had healed, she already had her angel blade drawn.<p>

"You're James' doctor," she whispered, finally recognizing the blue eyes and mop of black hair.

The demon scoffed. "I _was_ his doctor. But not anymore…this is just a body."

She twirled her blade expertly between her fingers. "What do you want with this place? And with me?"

"All in good time, sweetheart," it replied.

It made a lunge for her, but oh had it underestimated just who it was dealing with. She had it pinned to the wall in one swift movement, her choking grip holding it by the throat and not allowing it to move. She pressed the tip of her blade to its heart, her hazel eyes mere inches from its icy blue ones. Of course the demon tried to ditch the body it was inside of, but she held it inside. A smirk played on her lips as she leaned even closer to snarl out the last threat the demon would ever hear.

"You see, demon, you made your first mistake the minute you opened your mouth. Because you know what you never provoke? Never provoke if you ever want to see the light of day again? Never provoke if you want to live to tell the tale of how you royally fucked up? Never, _ever _provoke?"

Enough of her true voice was creeping through to have the demon shaking in her grip.

She leaned right up to its ear, her breath ghosting over its skin. "_Me_."

Then she plunged the blade deep inside, the dagger-like weapon acting as a demon killing knife only about ten times stronger. She twisted it slowly, orange colored light flickering within the wound, making sure the demon suffered before it finally collapsed to the ground, dead as a doornail. So maybe she should have gotten her information first, but just as she'd warned the demon: if there is anything you do _not _want to do, it is threaten Isadora Winchester.

She calmly wiped the blade on her jeans, her boots clicking softly on the tile floor as she walked away.

* * *

><p>Eva hooked a third needle up to Loki, forcing demon blood into his veins. When he woke up, he would be a completely new person. Her perfect soldier. She'd already force fed her blood into his mouth, and now she had it pumping all throughout his system, rewriting him and changing him for what she liked to consider the better. His face was already paling as the demon blood worked its way through his body and blotting out the part of his mind that reminded him of his friends, his family, his humanity.<p>

He would be a warrior like no other...the war was just beginning, and it had started with the death of an angel.

An angel named Castiel Winchester.


	10. The Lights That Stop Me Turn To Stone

**Author's Note:**

**So very sorry it took so long! I lost Internet nearly a week ago so I wasn't able to post this :'( *begs for forgiveness* Finally, here comes the plot! :D Warning for lots of song lyrics! Also, Nico Gallagher belongs to Reaper's Curse :-)**

**P.S. The Nate scene is by our dearest beloved Kim! XD**

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><p><strong>*One Week Later*<strong>

Loki was still nowhere to be found. Isadora had told her parents about the demon, and now they had to consider that it had come for her just like demons had come for Loki. Gabriel could smell demon all over his son's room, but the trail dropped off at the window. He had tried reaching Loki telepathically, he'd called Crowley to see if any of his former demon alliances knew anything, and anything else he could think of, but nothing worked. Loki Winchester had been missing for a full seven days…gone without a trace.

Currently Isadora was over at the Gallaghers' asking if they'd heard anything, but even when they told her no just as always (she was over there twice a day, every day, she wanted to come in person instead of just calling), they offered for her to stay. Feeling uncharacteristically defeated, she accepted thankfully and curled up in the armchair, staring out the window. Leslie was in the kitchen making dinner, and Andy kept trying to throw a dash of marijuana into the spices for the fried chicken. Just another day in the Gallagher household.

"Izzy?"

She looked up to see Nico, one of the Gallagher brothers, standing next to the armchair with a cup of hot chocolate. "Hey Nico."

"Here, looks like you could use this," he said, extending the mug.

She took it and smiled gratefully. "Thanks."

They hadn't really spoken much; they knew each other of course, as their families were very close, but she hadn't spent nearly as much time with the Gallaghers as her brother had. Nico had always seemed nice, if not a little closed off. The whole family gave off that air of someone that had a deep, painful secret. It was downright depressing sometimes. She knew what it felt like to be in a dark place, she was in one presently. But there was just something in their eyes that was saddening even to her, who didn't admit to caring for anyone unless it was absolutely necessary. She lived by her Uncle Dean's mantra: No chick flick moments.

"Sorry about your brother," Nico said.

"Me too," she whispered, taking a sip of hot chocolate and closing her eyes as the warm liquid slid down her throat. "But it's not over yet. We _will_ find him."

"Wish there was something I could do to help," he sighed, dropping down onto the couch.

"We're twins and half angels, I should be able to track him, but whoever the fuck has him must have the place loaded down with anti-angel sigils, because every time I try to reach him telepathically it's like I'm running into a wall," she growled, frustrated.

"You'll find a way to bring him back," Nico said firmly, as if the fact was set in stone and there was nothing that could be done to change it. "You're Isadora Winchester, for fuck's sake."

She smiled over at him. Surprisingly enough, those words helped.

"_You show the lights that stop me turn to stone_

_You shine it when I'm alone_

_And so I tell myself that I'll be strong_

_And dreaming when they're gone."_

_~Lights by Ellie Goulding_

* * *

><p>"Would everyone please stop fussing over me? I am fine and dandy!" Kerberosel protested as Lucifer bitched at him to lay back down.<p>

Lucifer ignored him and pushed Kerberosel over a little to make room, stretching out on the bed next to his friend. "You fainted, man. You're about as 'fine and dandy' as I was when my hound stepped on my Avenge Sevenfold CD and broke it. Damn dog."

"Oh please, you love that dog."

"Not when it's breaking my CDs!"

Kerberosel laughed and turned on his side to face Lucifer, his blond curls falling into his eyes. "You can stop coming over every day to keep an eye on me, you know. I'm not going to drop dead."

"Wouldn't that be the day," Lucifer joked.

"Please, you'd crash and burn without me to keep your ass straight."

"How is spending most of my time with a slightly flamboyant gay Brit helping keep me _straight_?"

Kerberosel groaned and swatted Lucifer with a throw pillow. "Not that kind of straight, you fur brained fool!"

They played around and teased each other, had been since Loki went missing, but underneath it was the mutual worry and fear for their friend. Kerberosel hadn't had a single feeling or vision since the time he'd fainted, and Lucifer just hated feeling powerless to come to his friend's aid. Everyone was looking high and low for Loki, using every tracking spell in the book as well as looking physically, but it was like whoever had him had sealed him off somewhere unreachable. Word had also gotten out that a demon had tried to threaten Isadora, but getting information out of him was pretty damn out of the question since he was _dead. _Apparently the girl had never heard of exorcism.

"Do you think Loki's okay?" Kerberosel asked softly. Both of their thoughts had gone to their missing friend by this point.

Lucifer pushed a stray curl out of Kerberosel's eyes. "I think we're not going to stop until we have him back here, safe and sound, as annoying and Sam-like as ever."

Reassured by those words, Kerberosel eventually fell asleep against his friend, but Lucifer laid there awake…wondering how much of what he'd said was actually true.

"_Somewhere in this darkness there's a light that I can't find_

_Or maybe it's too far away, yeah_

_Or maybe I'm just blind."_

_~When I'm Gone by Three Doors Down_

* * *

><p>Nate wasn't really one to stick out in his family; he was a bit cheeky, a bit adventurous, but when you have a sister like Izzy it's easy to be classified as normal. When Loki went missing it was unbelievable not mention unreal, I mean even though they knew they were exposed like everyone else, they didn't expect it to happen to their family. His parents had been going steadily worse with worry as each day passed with no sign of Loki turning up.<p>

They also couldn't both search at the same time since they panicked that one of their other children would be taken as well. Sam would search at night whilst Gabriel kept them protected, then he'd vanish in the day going to every place and more he could think of, going from location to location in no more than an instant, searching high and low for their missing fledgling.

Nate wanted to help desperately since Loki was his big brother but he wasn't sure if his parents could handle the stress. Especially since the fifth night of Loki's abduction…he'd gone upstairs to ask if they found him, then heard quiet murmuring. Curiosity eating him alive, he crept towards Loki's room, listening quietly to see if he could hear anything that might give him some idea of how to help.

"You've been at it all day, you have to rest Gabe."

"But Sam the longer it takes the worse things could happen!"

"I know that but if you drain yourself too much you won't be much good to help him will you?."

Nate was startled to here a choked sob. "I should have found him already…he's my baby, Sam."

Nate risked a peek and saw something Isadora swore would never happen. Their loving - if somewhat eccentric - mother (well technically father, but Izzy was right, he gave birth to them so technically he was their mom) was sobbing into Sam's shoulder while their weary dad rubbed his back, soothing him the best he could. Taking a quick glance Nate noticed Gabriel was clutching a tatty stuffed purple bunny that he recognized as Loki's baby toy that Izzy had always teased him about mercilessly. He left before they noticed him, walking back to his room and losing himself in thought. He could talk to Izzy but she was equally stressed without her twin around.

Nate punched the wall in frustration. Why was he so helpless?

_"I am a question to the world_

_Not an answer to be heard_

_Or a moment that's held in your arms_

_And what do you think you'd ever say_

_I won't listen anyway_

_And I'll never be what you want me to be."_

_~I'm Still Here by Johnny Rzeznik_

* * *

><p>On into the night, James was laying on the couch, his father asleep in the armchair where he'd been watching TV. He kept muttering "Cas" in his sleep, and his sleeping expression was so twisted and pained every time he said it that James had to go upstairs into his room just to escape it. He threw himself onto the bed and sighed. Loki was a close friend…more than a friend. He was like a brother. Him and James had grown up together just like everyone else in their "extended" family. Having Loki gone was like missing the final piece to a puzzle. That gap would always be there; taunting you, reminding you that no matter how dauntingly close you were to success, it would never be over until you had that final piece.<p>

_If only I could go back and fix everything, _James thought. He remembered hearing Castiel talk of time travel, how he'd taken Dean back more than once. His father had added that it was exhausting, but not impossible. Then…something occurred to James. If an angel could do it, then couldn't a half angel? If he could go back and save Loki…then he could go even further back and save Castiel. _I could have my other dad back, _whispered the last remnants of his childish naivety. But if he could pull it off…Dean would have his husband back, Mary would be able to know her angelic father, Loki could be saved, and James could be reunited with the dad he'd been pining for since that awful night twelve years ago.

James picked up his phone, dialing Isadora. "Izzy? Hey, it's James. I have an idea…"

"_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend_

_Somewhere along in the bitterness and_

_I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life."_

_~How To Save a Life by The Fray_

* * *

><p>"I think he's ready," Eva drawled. "Release him."<p>

The demons flanking Loki's chair started undoing his restraints, the young man's glazed eyes raising as he gained his freedom. His body moved like that of a robot as he rose, rolling his shoulders and stretching his newly strengthened limbs. His eyes were the same color, but they now held a certain darkness…an emptiness where his humanity had once been. He was so full of demon blood that the human DNA had been everything short of overwritten.

Eva smiled and stroked his hair. "My perfect warrior."

Loki clenched his hands, eager to use this new, dark power swelling inside of him.

"Fear not, love, I have a mission for you," Eva whispered, leaning up to his ear. "Kill every. Single. Winchester."

Everything that made Loki who he was had been blotted out by demon blood…so he hastened to obey.

"_Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?_

_I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin_

_I must confess that I feel like a monster_

_I hate what I've become, the dark has just begun_

_I must confess that I feel like a monster."_

_~Monster by Skillet_

* * *

><p>"Time travel?" Lucifer repeated.<p>

Isadora narrowed her eyes. "You really think you can pull it off?"

"I'm half angel, I might be able to help…" added Kerberosel.

"I know I can do this," James said firmly.

The group sat around in Isadora's bedroom, discussing the master plan that James had formed. He intended to go back and find a way to save Cas and Loki, and he wanted to know who was going with him. Isadora, Lucifer, and Kerberosel were all a tiny bit skeptical, but they didn't hesitate in the slightest when he asked them to go with him. James looked around at his friends. Isadora stood with her arms crossed and her head held high, Lucifer was leaning against the wall with a look of pure determination, and even small, delicate little Kerberosel looked ready to jump into it headlong, tiny sparks flicking from his fingers in response to his excitement. His powers always flared up in reaction to his moods, a side effect of having such strange genes.

"Calm down before you fry Izzy's bedroom," Lucifer said dryly, placing his hand over Kerberosel's.

The sparks gradually died down, and James continued. "I don't know how long it will take, and I can't tell you it won't be dangerous. We'll have to leave notes for our parents, but we can't directly tell them we're leaving, they'll find a way to stop us. Is everyone still on board with this?"

"You couldn't stop me if you tried," Isadora said fiercely.

"Me and the bitch are in," said Lucifer.

Kerberosel nodded. "What he said."

And so began the journey of four friends. They wrote notes to their families, armed themselves to the teeth, went over the plan, and finally met back in Isadora's room three days later. One note lay on Aziraphale's piano from Kerberosel, there was a note in Gabriel's cookie jar from Isadora, a note from Lucifer was tucked under Leslie's favorite beanie where she would no doubt find it, and a letter from James was on top of Mary's diary (she would relay it to Dean, James was certain). All of them had different wording and different messages, but they got the point across nonetheless: they were leaving to save Cas and Loki and they didn't know when they'd be back, but they promised to stay safe. And the words "I love you" were somewhere in each of the notes.

"Are you ready?" James asked after they'd all distributed their farewells.

Isadora held up her automatic rifle loaded with rock salt. "Oh yeah."

"Let's kick some demon ass," Lucifer grinned, a revolver tucked into his belt and a large vial of holy water tucked into the inside of his jacket.

Kerberosel brandished his blade, which resembled an angel sword but had an ebony hilt that came from its demon origins. "Ready as I'll ever be."

James nodded, the group clasping hands for the time travel. _Time to find out what I look like as a four year old._

"_I step out of the ordinary_

_I can feel my soul ascending_

_I'm on my way, can't stop me now."_

_~Proud by Heather Small_


	11. Time Is Running Out and Standing Still

**Author's Note:**

**This chapter is shorter than the usual, but since all of them have been so long lately, I thought I would post a shorter one to make for easier reading. Also, it would have been ridiculously long had I written my entire idea for the chapter into one, so the rest will be in chapter twelve.**

**For those of you who don't know, there is tons of Ordinary Life stuff on my profile! Pictures of all the kids excluding Loki (can't seem to find an actor I like for him :P) as well as links to two Isadora/Nico one-shots. Mine is "The Man Who Can't Be Moved," and the second one, "Life Starts Now" by Reaper's Curse, is set shortly after the first :-) And would you mind taking the poll, please? It's about the fic and your responses will decide a few factors about it ;D**

**Thanks for reading! *goes to work on my other ficcy***

**P.S. The song I used lyrics from for this chapter is completely epic…just saying. I still have it on repeat :P**

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><p>"<em>If this is it, all we have and ever will<em>

_If this is it, time is running out and standing still_

_I'll leave today 'cause there's nothing left to keep me here_

_I'll fade away, I'll turn my back and disappear."_

_~Above and Below by The Bravery_

The four teens crash landed in the middle of a sidewalk, landing in an awkward tangle. Kerberosel's small frame was crushed by James' and Lucifer's, and Isadora had fallen on top of all three of them, the heel of her black boot simultaneously wedging itself into Lucifer's crotch. The half werewolf groaned and shoved her off, elbowing Kerberosel in the face as he did so. People were watching them with growing interest and confusion, wondering where the hell they'd come from and why they couldn't seem to get up without injuring each other.

Finally, they all managed to get on their feet. James looked around and said, "Isadora, you come with me to Dean and Castiel's place, we need to figure out exactly when we ended up here. They won't recognize us because we're still just children."

"The bitch and me will try to get a lead on anyone who may have been watching Loki since he was a kid," Lucifer volunteered.

Kerberosel shivered against the cold and pulled his red scarf tighter around his neck. "We should be discreet and forgettable. Don't tell anyone our real names. If we change the future so our parents remember meeting us in the past, it'll create a paradox."

"What he said," Izzy said, idly examining her fingernails.

"Any idea what street we're on?" asked James.

Kerberosel walked over to the corner, looked at the sign. "Main street. Should be a fairly easy starting point."

"I can find Dad's house from here," James confirmed. "Izzy, let's…Izzy?" He looked around, finding that she'd disappeared. "Damn it. Guys, we lost Isadora…"

Kerberosel groaned. "Again?"

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, she'd found someone to occupy herself with. She sat on a nearby bench with a tall, black haired man that had some of the prettiest green eyes she'd ever seen. He sat close enough to show his interest, the arm he had over the back of the bench lightly touching her shoulders. The man also made no move to hide how his eyes kept straying down to the V neck of her shirt. Isadora knew exactly what she was doing when she leaned back and crossed her legs, her short skirt hiking a bit further up her thighs.<p>

"So tell me Darren…anything interesting going on around here?" she asked casually.

"Oh there can be all kinds of interesting things going on around here."

_Seriously? If your pickup lines get any worse, I'm going to barf, _she thought. "I'll just bet there can. How about for the more…supernaturally inclined?"

"Supernaturally inclined…what are you, a hunter? You don't smell like a demon," he said very quietly.

Isadora laughed; a high, melodious sound that had charmed more men than she could count. "I'm a bit of a cocktail."

"We'll just have to see about that sometime. There _is_ this bar right outside of town. Modern little place, nice digs, and some very…_interesting_ clientele. It's called _Evangeline's._"

"Sounds like my kind of place," she said, standing up. "Thanks for your time."

"No goodbye kiss?"

Now that she had the information she had sought, she no longer needed to be friendly. She had him pinned to the bench by her boot with one swift movement, her voice a harsh whisper. "You're lucky I haven't cracked your skull open by now, demon. You're an awful flirt, you smell like cheap beer, and your hair's oilier than my brother's classic Mustang. Run fast, because let's just say I have very little tolerance for your kind. Now go."

He looked like a complete girl when he leapt off the bench, taking off down the sidewalk. She'd allowed a spark of her grace to show through, silently telling the demon just what he was dealing with. Smirking, she jumped gracefully over the bench and landed lithely on her feet. _Evangeline's. _A bar for the supernatural. If that wasn't one hell of a place to start, she didn't know what was.

* * *

><p>"Where the hell did you go?" James demanded when Isadora finally walked up beside him.<p>

"Chill dude, you're not my dad. Either one of them. You should be kissing my ass right now, I just found a bar for the 'supernaturally inclined.' I think Lucifer and Kerberosel have a place to start now."

Kerberosel cocked his head in a birdlike manner. "How did you get all of that from striking up conversation with some random person you just happened to see on the street?"

"He wasn't random, he was a demon, and I could tell by his scent that he was pretty high up on the food chain." Then, as an afterthought, she added, "He's a horrible flirt."

"Well thanks for that terribly insightful piece of information," Lucifer said dryly. "We're four time traveling teenagers trying to save the damn world, but let's mention that some dude's a terrible flirt. Because that is _so_ important."

Isadora stepped forward to probably hit him, but James cleared his throat and crossed his arms. "Alright everyone, this isn't helping. Lucifer, Kerberosel, track down this bar Izzy found. Isadora, you're coming with me, and no wandering off this time!"

"You sound like more of a girl than my bitch does," Lucifer noted as he walked off in the other direction, Kerberosel at his side.

James started walking with Isadora down the sidewalk, his distraught hair blown into his eyes by the breeze. A familiar ice cream shop caught his eye, and both him and Isadora stopped for a moment to stare at it. It was the same place that they knew from their childhood. Every Saturday since they were three, Gabriel and Castiel had taken James, Isadora and Loki out for ice cream at this very place. It was a tradition that had been broken after Castiel's death, but it had never been forgotten.

"I think it's Saturday," Isadora whispered.

"Why?"

She pointed shakily to the window, through which they could see a short blond man sitting at the counter with his two small children. "Because that's me, my mom, and my little brother."

Talking about going back and seeing yourself as a child is one thing, but actually doing it is another. James glanced over and saw tears in Isadora's eyes as she stared at the child version of her little brother, who was missing in the time she'd just came from. He tried to put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, but she jerked away and kept walking, clearly angry with herself for getting emotional as she blinked the tears from her eyes. James knew it wasn't to be taken personally; she had always shied away from people trying to help her unless it was Nico, the very rare exception. They'd barely talked over the years, but somehow when something went wrong, he was always there for Isadora.

It wasn't too far of a walk, but it felt like years before they reached the front lawn of James' home. He stared at it…it looked the exact same as always, yet entirely different. Knowing Castiel was in there made him view it in an entirely different light. It seemed brighter, more welcoming. The part of him that was still a child soared to life at the realization that twelve years later, he could finally see his other father again. Even if Castiel wouldn't know who he was, he could still see him and that was enough for James. _I'll save you, I promise, _he thought with determination.

Stuffing his hands into the pockets of his leather trench coat (go figure, even his fashion sense was half Dean, half Castiel), he looked over at Isadora.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

Izzy stared at him evenly. "Are you?"

"Not by a long shot."

"Same here."

Sharing a wan smile, they ascended onto the porch.


	12. Just To Find Your Way Home

**Author's Note:**

**I have AWESOME NEWS! My minion, co-writer, and personal Sammy is finally back in this chapter! Please give a warm round of applause for KIM! The very last Izzy scene in this chapter is hers...I am so happy to have her back in the fic :D**

**Sorry, sorry, sorry! I know the updates keep just coming so LATE! This is my fault for working on this as well as my Leverage Parker/Sterling drabbles AND my Dean/Cas AU. Buuuut here it is! Slightly filler-ish, apologies. On the other hand though, the song I found for lyrics…holy crap. One, I love it, and two, it reminds me SO MUCH of this fic! It suits this one the most, though I may end up using some lyrics from it for Lights, Camera, Action as well because I can't stop listening to it :P**

**Thanks for sticking with me and sorry for the late update!**

* * *

><p>"<em>When you're gone for a day, on your own<em>

_Tear your heart out just to find your way home_

_I've been so high, I've sunk so low_

_I've come so far with nothing to show."_

_~Invincible by Hedley _

Two mostly untouched drinks sat in front of Lucifer and Kerberosel. Getting in had been no problem; the guy outside had took one whiff and determined they were supernatural, proceeding to wave them in with the rest of the evening crowd. The problem was that for one, Kerberosel was ready to shoot himself in the head just to escape the trashy atmosphere of _Evangeline's, _and two, neither of them had any idea where to start with their quest to get answers on how long the demons had had plans for Loki.

A werewolf in its wolf form was laying under a bar stool, panting happily, and Lucifer felt perfectly at home here. It was a little dirty, but the wolf in him felt more relaxed here than he had in a long time. He'd even smelled that a woman sitting at the other end of the bar had some demigod in her. Of course he was too busy giving her a charming smile to notice Kerberosel glaring at her like he could go through her. All these years later, Lucifer was still oblivious to the jealous stares that Kerberosel tended to fixate on his many girlfriends.

"This place is fucking awesome," Lucifer commented.

Kerberosel's head dropped down on the bar with a thump. "It's so _loud_. I hate this place."

"I thought all gays loved bars and nightclubs."

Brown eyes glared at Lucifer from under a lock of blond hair. "This a haven for low class, manner-less supernatural beings that were probably born under a _rock_. Even _I_ have my limits!"

"I was born into a small town, are you calling me low class and manner-less?"

"Lucifer, love, you have your moments where I want to drag you to London by your hair and force some manners on you, but you behave like bloody royalty compared to these people."

Lucifer chuckled, looking down at his friend, who still had his head buried in his arms. "It could be worse…"

As if on cue, the werewolves a few tables over started a belching contest.

Hiding his face in Lucifer's shoulder, Kerberosel said, "God, just kill me now."

* * *

><p>Isadora wanted to go see Loki, promising not to interfere, so James was alone when he unlocked the door with his powers and walked into his parents' house. Honestly he preferred it this way; he had a feeling that his reaction to seeing Cas would be embarrassing and he didn't feel like getting Isadora's eternal mockery. No one was in the entryway nor were they in the living room. Quietly, he crept down the hall and followed the sound of someone talking. When he got closer, he realized that it wasn't someone talking. It was someone singing.<p>

Pressing his ear to the door, he listened to the hauntingly familiar lyrics being sung.

"_I've seen them appear with the crescent moon_

_Felt the air turn cold, heard them whistle a tune_

_That raises the dead from a ghostly cocoon…"_

Tears ran down his cheeks as he listened to an all too recognizable voice sing his childhood lullaby. It was a voice he would know if it was whispering in the middle of a crowd, it was a voice he would know even when it was muffled by the oak door to his bedroom. Holding back a sob, he sunk down against the door as he listened to Castiel sing his child self to sleep. Turning, he peered through a tiny crack in the wall into the room.

Castiel now sat on Dean's lap, nuzzling his face into his husband's neck. Maybe most teenagers would go "eww" at the sight of their parents cuddling, but they looked so _happy_. It wasn't until then that James fully understood just how deeply they'd been in love. He could see it in their eyes, see it in the way they held each other. Dean and Castiel were too halves of the same being…separated from that other half, no wonder Dean had slipped into depression for such a long time.

"Daddy," James whispered almost inaudibly through his tears.

His father, _his_ Castiel, was just on the other side of that door…and he couldn't even know who James was.

* * *

><p>A tall, sandy haired man sat down next to Kerberosel. Lucifer had smelt that the demigod he'd had his eyes on earlier was half demon, so thinking she may know something, he went to strike up conversation. He was careful to remain within visual range of Kerberosel lest one of them get into trouble, but that didn't mean the half breed felt any more useful as he sat at the bar alone. He was half demon and couldn't even figure out who to talk to.<p>

That was when the man, his aura emanating that he was undoubtedly a full blooded demon, sat down next to Kerberosel and said, "Did your boyfriend ditch ya, sweetheart?" He had a slightly southern twang to his voice.

"He's not my boyfriend," Kerberosel said, turning to face the stranger.

"Well ain't he an idiot then. Oh, and I like your accent. I've always had a bit of a thing for Brits."

"Very happy for you," Kerberosel muttered sarcastically.

The demon laughed. "You're not much one for conversation, huh?"

"Yeah well I'm looking for information on the demons' plans for the Winchester family and clearly I am getting absolutely nowhere since no one here seems to know what I'm talking about and just look at me like I'm six kinds of insane, so unless I can magically become Lucifer and flirt my way through interrogation, looks like I'm going to keep sitting right here at this bar talking to a complete stranger and wasting time I could be spending doing something useful, though that's seeming more and more unlikely by the minute!"

His accent was so thickly pronounced with agitation by the end of his rant that the man next to him actually winced. Unfortunately Kerberosel had gotten a little bit of Crowley's temper.

"Winchester?"

Kerberosel sighed dejectedly. "Yep."

"As in…Castiel Winchester?"

The half breed's head snapped to face the demon, his spine stiffening. "You know something." It wasn't a question.

"Let's take this somewhere a little more private, shall we?"

* * *

><p>Loki was inside asleep by now, but Isadora took solace just in being on the property. Sam and Gabriel didn't have a reason to be outside…she was left peacefully alone as she sat, motionless, on the swing set her and her twin had played on as children. It was much less rusted now than it was in the time she'd just come from. She felt so weak, so overly emotional as she stared at the ground, tears threatening to fall. Loki was annoying, and nerdy, and a complete prude, but dammit he was her <em>twin<em> and she missed him so badly she couldn't stand it.

She wasn't ignorant of how hard it would be on James to see his second father again after all these years, but regardless of how many times she repeated to herself that there were a lot bigger matters at hand, she couldn't help but thing of the last time she'd seen Loki. The image of his laughing, smiling face and glittering eyes were burned into her brain. Harder than having the memory was knowing that it may be the last. There was still no guarantee they'd save Loki.

Her slender body shrouded in darkness, she broke down into sobs, her body racked with them. Long strands of her hair fell into her face as she clung to one side of the swing. She needed something solid to hold on to before she completely lost it. At that moment, she wanted so much. She wanted her "mom" to hold her and tell her it would be okay, her dad to tell her just to be strong like she always was, her baby brother to walk through the door with open arms, and for Nico to let her cry on his shoulder like he'd always done so selflessly. All of these desires were so selfish and trivial in her mind, but she couldn't fight them.

In the back of her mind, her internal voice whispered, _Izzy Winchester reaches her breaking point. Never thought I'd see the day._

* * *

><p>Time travel was exhausting, even more so for the half human James, so he couldn't really be blamed when he more or less fainted against the door. When he woke again, he found himself on the couch…a couch he knew to be his own. Tears nearly escaped him again when he peered up to see Castiel sitting nearby, watching him worriedly. The angel was pregnant but barely showing yet. Just a small, fairly discreet bump under his shirt. James didn't miss the fact that true to what the humans said, his father practically glowed. Even those stunning blue eyes seemed brighter than he remembered.<p>

Unable to help it, James whispered, "You are so beautiful…"

"Paws off kid, that's my husband you're talking to," Dean growled, walking into the room and sitting down, wrapping a possessive arm around Cas' shoulders.

"No, I didn't mean it like that, I uh, I-"

"Calm down," Cas said softly. "You were out cool-"

"Out _cold_, Cas," Dean sighed.

"-Out cold when we found you, I feel sure you're exhausted. Though I must ask: what brought you to our home?"

James pulled himself into a sitting position, a glance at the clock above the fireplace telling him he'd only been out for half an hour or so. "I'm sorry for intruding." Those words didn't even sound right, spoken to his father. "I had a bit of a, ah, rough trip here and came looking for someone that might be able to help me. Apparently I passed out. Again, sorry…"

"You need not apologize," Castiel said, his blissfully familiar voice a tonic to James' frazzled nerves. "If need be you can seek shelter here for as long as it's necessary."

Dean glanced sideways at his husband. "He can?"

"Of course he can. Now, what's your name?" Cas asked.

"Jam-uh, Jake. My name's Jake," James said before he could blurt out the truth by accident.

"Hello Jake. How old are you? I find it hard to believe a boy so young would not first seek out his parents if he was in need of a place to stay."

"S-sixteen, sir. I'm sixteen. And my parents, they're…away right now." Castiel's comment about parents had him a little choked up, so he kept his words to a bare minimum until he found his composure.

"Please, call me Castiel. And this is my husband Dean."

"Yeah. I mean, uh, nice to meet you both. Thank you so much for your hospitality. I can be on my way now, I think maybe I just needed some rest…" Sitting here, staring at his happy and alive father, was getting to be overwhelming.

"You're not goin' anywhere kid," Dean said, his paternal instincts finally kicking in. "I am not throwing some sixteen year old out on the street if you don't have anywhere to go. As long as you don't start tryin' to put the moves on Cas, we'll be just fine."

"Dean's right," Castiel chimed in. "Please Jake, stay. We have plenty of extra rooms and our son is asleep right now but I'm sure he'll love you to death." _Oh, I'm sure he will…_

How could he say no to that without sounding rude? Besides, he did need information, and the temptation of getting to know Castiel was just too great. "If you're certain I won't be getting in the way, then it would do me a world of good to have somewhere to stay until I got back on my feet."

"Wonderful," Cas said, smiling just slightly. It was a gorgeous sight. "Follow me, I'll show you to one of the guest rooms."

James complied and followed him upstairs, watching every minute detail of Castiel's movements as he walked. The fact Dean thought he was trying to flirt with Cas was just plain _creepy_ and made James want to hurl, but no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't tell them who he was. Kerberosel was a lot of things, but stupid was most definitely not one of them. If he said Dean and Cas shouldn't know who James really is, then they weren't going to know.

After a few moments of silence, Castiel said, "Don't be frightened by my noting this, but you seem to have a very interesting aura."

"Interesting?"

"You don't need to hide what you are, not from Dean and I. You clearly have angel in you, I can feel the grace. I'm an angel as well. That son I mentioned to you? He's biologically mine and Dean's."

James tried to sound relieved. "That's great, I was so worried I would freak you guys out if I said something weird about my uh, genes."

"Not at all. I'm pregnant, so if anyone should be 'freaked out' as you put it…"

"I'm sure you'll have a beautiful child," James said earnestly. "I bet she's going to be…absolutely radiant."

Cas stopped and turned to him. "How did you know she was a girl?"

"Uh…lucky guess. But she's going to be amazing…I just know it."

Castiel smiled and gave James' shoulder a squeeze of thanks. That little bit of contact was what made James give into the urge that had been plaguing him since he awoke and laid eyes on the father that had been dead for twelve years. Closing his eyes, he pulled Cas into a close embrace, his arms wrapping around his father and holding him tightly. Cas seemed a little surprised but didn't flinch. James buried his face in Castiel's shoulder, feeling his father's arms thread around his waist. He tried to prevent them, but tears fell once more from his eyes.

_I'm going to save you daddy…I promise. I won't stop until you're safe, _he vowed silently.

* * *

><p>Izzy sniffled furiously, wiping her eyes and trying to erase signs of her crying. She considered snapping up a cherry lollipop, sugar always calmed her down, yet her dad thought it always made her even more hyper. A melancholy smile crossed her face at the thought of her dad. He must be worried sick by now despite the letter she'd left for them.<p>

"Okay, since I can't resist a pretty girl crying I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, but give me a good reason why I shouldn't smite you off my kids' swing," a voice that Isadora heard many a time - in all different moods, tones and pitches - snarked from the porch.

She raised her head meeting the gaze of her 'mom,' who leaning against the porch arms folded in an easy going pose though she knew otherwise. Her 'mom' was cautious and for good reason.

Still, despite her breakdown Izzy's first reaction was to be a smart ass back, which was with, "I didn't realize I had to make a booking. Why is this your swing time turn? Oops my bad, can I have a go once your finished?"

Gabriel smirked. "Well at least I don't exceed the weight limit sweetheart."

Isadora smirked back. "But at least I can pass the height requirement darling."

Gabriel grinned. "Touché. I like your style. Now what's the waterworks for and why are you here?"

Izzy shrugged, snapping a sugary confection into being since she could tell he knew that she wasn't a normal human. "Oh you know, the usual jackass boyfriend dumped me, self pity moped and generously comforted by a good soul. That sort of thing."

Gabriel narrowed his eyes, which darkened. "Look kiddo you and I both know you're way more powerful than a regular half angel, I myself am an archangel, so I warn you messing with me will end with you spending eternity in a shopping mall filled with nothing but nerds and bad shoes."

Isadora scoffed, leaning on her palm amused. "Having mood swings are we?"

Gabriel froze for a moment, placing a hand protectively on his abdomen. "I only found out today, how did you-"

Izzy waved a hand. "Woman's intuition, angel mojo, and annoyingly loud gay-dar screaming 'UKE DEAD AHEAD!'"

"You know Japanese?" Gabriel asked, cocking his head in a manner eerily similar to his little brother.

"Among other things. Like all the conspiracy theories involving aliens, the best tasting candies in the world and where the spearmint rhino is. Haven't seen it yet, but I will."

Gabriel huffed. "To give off an aura as powerful as you do you'd have to be either the child of Michael, Lucifer, Raphael or myself so-"

"Gabe what's going on?"

The musing was cut short as a tall, younger looking Sam Winchester stepped outside with a one year old Lily in his arms blinking curiously. Isadora inwardly groaned; even back in time Lily was the perfect child.

"Sam this is..." Gabriel trailed off hesitantly.

"Ino C. Bell," Isadora filled in.

Gabriel continued. "Right. Ino here has apparently run away from the homestead due to boy troubles."

Izzy bowed a bit from her seat on the swing. "Hullo da-sasquatch." She cursed her slip but relaxed knowing it sounded like she did it on purpose.

Sam laughed a little.. "Weird, she reminds me of you, hee said to the pouting Gabriel.

"She does not. I'm far awesomer!"

Sam ignored the intentional bard and said, "Would you like to come in so we can call your parents?"

Isadora restrained the urge to laugh, they didn't know obviously but her parents were directly ahead. "Nah not unless you got a cell that can dial 1-800-HEAVEN."

Sam got t and mouthed a large "O" before saying, "Well would you like to stay here for the night at least?"

Gabriel looked severely uneasy at that idea, and Isadora was going to decline until she noticed. Maybe it was because of the Vegas weekend harassment or just the urge to annoy her 'mom,' but she smiled sweetly and said, "Thanks mister. I dunno if I want to be in a home with two strange men."

Gabriel shot daggers at her with his eyes, Sam chuckled. "Believe me you don't have to worry about that. I got all I want here." He wrapped his free arm around Gabriel, expertly juggling Lily so she wouldn't fall.

Isadora pretended to think about it; either way it would be easier for her to keep child Loki safe if she was never here but she had to remind herself under no circumstances to reveal her true identity. Kerberosel might be a bit of a kook, nerd, and British twit but when he knew something, he knew.

"Okay, just for the night. Thanks for the offer."

Sam welcomed her in, relaxing his shoulders when she passed the devil's trap she knew was under the carpet, managed to handle silver, and drink juice spiked with holy water. Gabriel on the other hand looked irritated and calculating. A smirk twitched at the corners of her lip as she sucked a lollipop. Well this would certainly be interesting…


	13. My Knees Were Far Too Weak

***I know it's annoyingly short, but at least it's an update! My OC-centric muse is kinda trying to die, so please hang in there while I try to get get ol' musie fired back up :P**

**Oh, and go to my profile, you will a find a link to an epic one-shot Reaper's Curse wrote! It's a deleted scene of sorts, set after chapter 12 of this :D**

"_My hands, they were strong_

_But my knees were far too weak_

_To stand in your arms_

_Without falling to your feet."_

_~Set Fire To The Rain by Adele_

Kerberosel and the strange demon strolled down back hallways, foul with the stench of old liquor and some other scents Kerberosel would rather not try too hard to figure out what were. The taller blond demon walked right next to the half breed, their proximity and occasional brushing of skin giving Kerberosel unpleasant chills. Now that they were alone, away from the crowd, something about this stranger felt…wrong. Dark. Menacing. At that moment more than ever, Kerberosel wished he could say that at some point in his sixteen years, his intuition had been wrong.

"So, why are you so curious about Castiel Winchester?" the taller blond demon asked.

Kerberosel tapped his fingers against his leg, a nervous habit he'd had for years, along with stuttering when he was afraid. "F-friend of the family."

"You sure about that?"

"Of c-course I am…" This was going downhill _fast_.

Suddenly Kerberosel was pushed against the wall, a hand wrapped around his throat. "I can smell it all over you…you've got angel blood in you, don't you? Little fucking mongrel. If there's anything we don't like around here, it's pretty boy angels that don't know their place. The demon I'm working for will be very happy when I bring her your corpse."

The demon withdrew an angel blade (_he probably took that from an angel he killed…_Kerberosel thought, sickened) that was soaked in holy water and marked in a long line of Enochian sigils. One of the only weapons in existence that may very well kill Kerberosel. He gathered his powers, feeling his fingers spark. But…that was it. He could feel his powers right under the surface, but when he tried to use them to knock the demon off, nothing happened. Looking up, he saw a devil's trap above him. The demon was holding Kerberosel under it but not quite close enough to be trapped himself. Smart.

"Get off me," Kerberosel snarled, but he was weakened by the trap. He was…helpless. And terrified.

Closing his eyes, he readied himself for the blow. The demon drew the blade back, the blade glinting under the harsh lights of the dingy hallway. Kerberosel was too scared to even scream. His thoughts raced, thinking of all the people he never had a chance to say goodbye to, the people that would miss him and never know how he died. He heard the hissing of air as the blade cut through it, on a direct path to his heart. _Well, they were a good sixteen years…_

Then a hand was closing around his own. Kerberosel knew it instantly. Soft yet faintly calloused; strong but gentle; not huge yet larger than his own. That hand pulled him down the hall, out of the devil's trap and away from the demon. The blade wedged in the wall with a metallic clang, slicing through the air that Kerberosel had been occupying only moments ago. Kerberosel could have sobbed with relief when he looked up into beautiful, familiar blue eyes.

Lucifer.

Unfortunately their troubles weren't over yet. The demon was still right behind them. Lucifer kept a death grip on his friend's hand, Kerberosel keeping up without a problem despite his shorter stature. Rounding a corner, Lucifer threw open the door to a small storage closet and pulled Kerberosel inside, kicking it shut behind them. They could hear the demon outside, trying to figure out where they'd gone. Apparently he wasn't very bright if he hadn't guessed they were in the closet right under his idiotic nose. With a simple snap, Kerberosel had the door locked.

Neither could make a sound. The closet was narrow, their bodies pressed together in the enclosed space. It was nearly pitch black, the only light coming from outside the door. Kerberosel could feel Lucifer's heart hammering against his back. He was pulled tightly against Lucifer's chest, Lucifer's arms around his waist to steady him. Lucifer knew his heart should be beating out of fear, and that he shouldn't like how Kerberosel's slight form felt in his arms. But as his hand reached around and came to rest on the half breed's chest, he could feel Kerberosel's heart beating just as fast as his own. He would bet that he wasn't the only one out of breath because of something other than fear.

Startled by the realization of the tension between himself and his best friend, Lucifer went to open the door since the demon's footsteps had faded, but Kerberosel reached back and grabbed Lucifer's hair, yanking him back. His voice was a raspy, almost inaudible whisper when he said, "He's still close…I can sense him." Lucifer complied, his body once again pressing against Kerberosel's as he leaned away from the door.

Kerberosel turned in the small space to face Lucifer. Their faces couldn't have been more than two inches apart. In spite of the chilly evening outside, it was swelteringly hot in the closet; their clothes clung to every contour of their bodies with sweat. Kerberosel's fingers were still wrapped in Lucifer's hair. Adrenaline had them wired and tense, practically shaking with it. Even in the darkness, Kerberosel could make out Lucifer's vibrant blue eyes. He was hyperaware of how seamlessly Lucifer's body fitted against his own.

"Lucifer…" Kerberosel's voice was a breathy whisper.

The air was so thick with tension that it may as well have been palpable. Lucifer's hand slid to the back of Kerberosel's neck, feeling the heat of the half breed's skin under his palm. Kerberosel found himself leaning into the little space that separated them, his body shaking against Lucifer's. Then the sound of a crash outside had them jumping halfway out of their skin, backing away from each other which only resulted in their backs hitting the walls within the tight space. His knees weak underneath him, Kerberosel unlocked the door with a quick telepathic command and wrenched it open, stumbling out into the hallway with Lucifer close behind.

"What the fuck was that?" Lucifer demanded, looking around.

"Oh for god's sake, should I spell it out for you? I know you're oblivious as hell sometimes, but even you can't look me in the eyes and say we didn't almost-"

"I meant the _noise_!"

Kerberosel's mouth snapped shut. "Oh…right. Umm…good question."

They headed down the hall in the direction of the noise, and had barely rounded the next corner (Kerberosel was starting to wonder why a _bar_ had so many hallways) when they encountered three dead demons laying on the ground, seemingly killed in various fashions. One had been stabbed with a blade of some sort, one was slightly charred and clearly killed by an angel, and the other (the blond demon that tried to kill Kerberosel) had a bite on its neck that looked like a snakebite. The only snakebite that could kill a demon came from _another_ demon, the kind that could shape shift. But there were only two known demons including Kerberosel that could do that, which meant…

Oh crap.

"Mind giving me one good reason why I shouldn't have my darling husband here smite the two of you?" asked a husky, British accented voice.

Then came a softer British accent that sounded almost exactly like Kerberosel's. "We don't want to hurt you unless we have to, maybe we can help you. Just don't do anything rash."

Crowley and Aziraphale.


	14. A Kiss With a Fist Is Better Than None

***Warnings for awfulness that resulted from my dead muse, violence, and that infuriating sexual tension. You know who I'm talking about :P**

"_I broke your jaw once before, I smeared your blood upon the floor_

_You broke my leg in return, so sit back and watch the bed burn_

_Love sticks, sweat drips, b__reak the lock if it don't fit_

_A kick in the teeth is good for some, a kiss with a fist is better than none."_

_~Kiss With a Fist by Florence and the Machine_

"Don't touch him," Lucifer growled, pulling Kerberosel behind him.

Crowley's eyes flashed reptilian for a moment before returning to normal, a silent but clear display of dominance. "I smell demon on him…is he with this lot?"

"'That lot' was trying to kill me!" Kerberosel cried shrilly.

"We've been tracking them," explained Aziraphale. "Imagine our surprise when we saw their leader running down the hallway."

"The blond guy was their leader? He didn't seem very bright…" Kerberosel muttered.

Aziraphale studied Kerberosel for several long moments before saying, "You look like me…you _sound _like me."

"Who cares?" Crowley said exasperatedly. "Zira, we have more important things to worry about. Now, who are the two of you?"

"Just passing through," Lucifer said evenly.

Kerberosel stepped out from behind his friend. "What do you know about those demons? A friend of ours is in danger, and they're responsible for it. We're just trying to figure out whose running all of this."

"We're the one asking the questions, kid," Crowley growled, stepping forwards.

The blond had always had a natural defiant streak against his father. "First of all I'm not a kid, and second of all I'll ask the questions if I damn well please."

Crowley hissed menacingly at the challenge and reached out, grabbing Kerberosel by the throat. Aziraphale held Lucifer back when the half werewolf tried to attack Crowley, telling him that the bite of a shape shifting demon was fatal to any and all species. Lucifer didn't care and tried to shake Zira off, but the angel held him in an iron grip. Meanwhile, Kerberosel was knocking Crowley's hand off of him, accepting the challenge with deadly grace and ease. This version of his father didn't know they were related, meaning he would have to establish that they were on equal ground.

"You don't want to mess with me," Crowley warned.

Kerberosel raised an eyebrow. "Wanna bet?"

Then they were at it. Crowley backhanded Kerberosel, who in turn knocked his father across the room with a flick of his wrist. The demon grabbed Kerberosel by the neck and pinned him to the wall, only for the very same son he'd taught to fight to rake his nails over Crowley's face and send him reeling back in pain. Aziraphale and Lucifer winced as the two fought. However, the father and son were completely unfazed. The nail marks on Crowley's face had healed by the time he recovered and threw himself at Kerberosel again.

"Tired yet?" Crowley challenged.

Kerberosel twisted his hand and had Crowley on his knees in an instant. "What do you think?"

Contrary to what it looked like, Kerberosel didn't enjoy hurting his father. He was a generally laid back person most of the time, but he had to keep in mind that right now Crowley was a perfect stranger to him that he had to prove himself to. He clung to that reasoning as he was thrown to the ground by Crowley, his father using the weight of his body to hold Kerberosel down. His hand pressed down on the half breed's collarbone…which is what triggered the following actions.

At fifteen, Kerberosel had got bitten by a vampire. The bite had healed, leaving no damage except for extreme sensitivity right above his collarbone where the bite had been. The first thing to register was pain, then came the knee-jerk reaction of defensiveness. Hissing, he bared snakelike fangs and threw Crowley off of him with so much force that the older demon cracked the plaster of the wall behind him.

When Kerberosel rose, his eyes had the same reptilian quality his father's were known for, but instead of the greenish-brown of a snake's, they were the same icy blue color as Aziraphale's. The sight alone was enough to have Crowley off guard, not attacking again immediately. It was the first time Crowley had seen a demon other than himself with the ability to adapt the fangs and eyes of a snake. They stood there for several long moments, staring each other down and breathing heavily.

Lucifer finally broke the silence. "Bitch, you okay?"

"Fine," Kerberosel replied softly, smiling a little at the familiar nickname. His eyes were once more dark brown, his teeth unsharp. "Crowley, I hope I didn't hurt you too badly, I didn't mean to throw you so hard, I just…"

"A fact to keep in mind," Crowley interrupted, cutting off his son's nervous babbling. "You don't fight someone and then apologize for it."

His voice was cold and civil. A flicker of hurt passed through Kerberosel's eyes, seen only by Lucifer. He knew that Crowley couldn't know he was his son, but the detachment his own father was treating him with hurt. Lucifer saw the sadness in his friend's gaze and put his hand on Kerberosel's shoulder. The half breed closed his eyes and covered the hand with his own. Telling people they couldn't reveal themselves to their parents was one thing, but actually having to do it and in his case fight his own _father_…God, it was so much harder than he'd imagined.

Too quiet for Kerberosel or Lucifer to hear, Aziraphale leaned over to Crowley and said, "You know who they remind me of?"

"Don't say it."

"But they do, Crowley. They're like you and I. Look at the way that blue eyed man's watching the demon…_his_ demon. He loves him."

"They're nothing like us," Crowley responded quietly. "You're an angel through and through, for starters. I don't know what they've got in them, but they're half breeds of some sort."

"Species has nothing to do with it. You can look at them and just see it…I don't know who they are, or where they come from, but they love each other."

Chuckling softly, Crowley drew Zira's hand to his mouth and kissed the angel's finger, just above the wedding band. "Do you have to find the good in _everyone_?"

After they all mutually agreed on one common goal and that they wouldn't kill each other (Crowley was a little reluctant on the second one), Aziraphale explained that they had been tracking the demons and knew who their leader was. They had been on their way to find her when they caught wind of her underlings, which were led by the demon that tried to kill Kerberosel. Crowley was a little iffy around Kerberosel after seeing what he was capable of, but given the clear evidence of how strong the half breed was, he fought his natural instinct to undermine the younger man…as little as he liked it, he had to treat Kerberosel as an equal.

"This demon, the one running it, what's his name?" Lucifer asked.

Aziraphale held open the door as they took the back exit out of the bar. "_Her_ name is Eva. And speaking of names, don't you two have any?"

"Mine's not important, and you can just call him bitch. I do," Lucifer said dryly.

Crowley smirked a little at that. "Anyways, if you two are going to meet up with this Eva woman, you have to do it right."

"And which way is 'right'?" inquired Kerberosel.

"There's some angel in you, I can feel your grace," Aziraphale said. "Eva hates angels, Crowley and I have figured that much out. If you want to get in…well, you're going to have to act as a pet, pretty much."

"Pet?"

Sighing, Zira reached into the pocket of his coat and withdrew an honest to God dog collar. "Pet."

* * *

><p><em>A man appeared on a desolate street, late at night. The objects of his violence had escaped here, and he'd been ordered to find them by his creator. Humanity? No, there was none left. It was a soulless, bloodthirsty war machine that started down the sidewalk, his shaggy brown hair blown into his eyes by the cold wind. He could sense them…the closest to him was the blue eyed werewolfdemigod and that British, irritating blond menace that called himself a demon. What a joke._

_Smirking to himself, Loki set off to kill them._

* * *

><p>Kerberosel curled up on the bed in the dingy motel room he was sharing with Lucifer. Aziraphale had promised to come get them when it was time to meet up with Eva, which brought them one step closer to saving Loki. He couldn't help but think it was a tad ironic that against every odd that was stacked against them earlier in the afternoon, it had been his parents that saved them, his parents that told them how to find Eva. Everything was falling into place.<p>

Not that he would admit it, but the only thing troubling him was what he had to do for them to convince Eva they were on the same side. He'd be collared like a dog, standing silently at Lucifer's side like an animal. Of course he had no objections to dogs (hello, his best friend could turn into one) but as he stared at the brown leather collar laying on the nightstand…he felt genuine fear of relinquishing that much control. Even to Lucifer. If he didn't trust his friend so much, he wouldn't dream of letting himself be put in that kind of position.

As if summoned by Kerberosel's musings, Lucifer walked over and sat down next to the small blond. "It's just an act…as soon as we have the information we need, I'm ripping that collar to fucking shreds."

"I know."

"I wish there was a way around having to do this…"

"There isn't."

A gentle hand stroked through Kerberosel's hair. Neither had forgotten what nearly happened earlier in that storage closet. But much to Kerberosel's gratitude, Lucifer wasn't bringing it up. He knew his sensitive best friend was scared as hell of that collar, of being presented to a demon as nothing more than Lucifer's favorite pet. There's nothing Lucifer wouldn't do to change it if he thought there was another way. It killed him seeing his bright, almost always happy companion so dejected.

"I'm going to take care of you, Kerberosel," he said softly. "No one's going to hurt you. I'll rip their hearts out first."

Kerberosel nodded silently. Lucifer leaned down and brushed a stray curl of pale blond hair away, pressing a soft kiss to the side of Kerberosel's face. Gentle and caring wasn't really his specialty, but there was a whole other side of him when it came to Kerberosel. If there was anything that triggered his protective side, it was seeing such a strong, relentlessly optimistic person so obviously terrified. And it wasn't just any person. It was his closest friend, his confidante, his rock when everything else was going to Hades.

"I guess I should get used to wearing that thing," Kerberosel murmured.

He sat up and took it off the nightstand, running his thumb over the leather surface. Lucifer covered Kerberosel's hands with his own, lightly squeezing the smaller, more delicate fingers that felt like they could break under just the slightest pressure. They were out of their time, out of their comfort zone, and it was affecting them both more than they wanted to admit. Isadora and James were off gathering information; all they had left was each other now. If Kerberosel had been his usual self, he would have found it romantic.

"Come here," Lucifer said, pulling Kerberosel against him.

Pressing his face into familiar blond curls, he gently slid the collar around his friend's neck, buckling it in one fluid motion and making sure it wasn't too tight. Having to do it made him want to scream, want to tell the world to fuck itself for the pure injustice that was putting a godsdamn _collar_ on his best friend. But nonetheless, Kerberosel wanted to learn to adjust to it before it was time to meet Eva. So Lucifer silently complied in the gentlest way possible.

"What happens if we can't save them…what if we get trapped here away from our families…what if something happens to you?" Kerberosel mused, voice muffled against Lucifer's hoodie.

"You're wearing a collar, and you're worrying about _me_?"

Silence fell between the two of them. Lucifer began stroking the side of Kerberosel's neck, over the skin and the leather of that awful collar. The half breed leaned closer to him, body slowly going lax under his hand. Lucifer gently leaned Kerberosel back on the bed, knowing his friend probably needed sleep. Sleep wasn't what came to mind, however, when Lucifer took note of their position. His body was half over Kerberosel's, who was laid back on the bed beneath him, and his hand was pressed to the side of the half angel's neck. Suddenly it was the closet all over again.

Not missing the want reflected in Kerberosel's dark eyes, Lucifer hooked his fingers under the collar and used it to pull the half breed closer, his other hand finding its way to Kerberosel's side. His fingers slid under the edge of the dress shirt, pressing against the skin underneath. Kerberosel was shaking with want, looking like protest was the most distant thing in the world from his mind at that moment…there was nothing holding Lucifer back this time.

Well, there was nothing holding him back until his phone started ringing.


	15. We Were The Victims of Ourselves

**Author's Note:**

**This is a MWM. AKA "Muse, what muse?" I was already having writer's block before the premiere, and then I watched 7x01...which was a horrible idea because it fried my inspiration even MORE. I am so very sorry for the late update, I'm trying to find my muse I really am, it's just not working too well :|**

* * *

><p><em>"We were the kings and queens of promise<em>

_We were the victims of ourselves_

_Maybe the children of a lesser God_

_Between Heaven and Hell."_

_~Kings and Queens by Thirty Seconds To Mars_

"Come on, come on, pick up…" James muttered, clutching the phone.

Finally, he heard Lucifer answer the phone. "What?"

"Or 'hello' as they said in olden times. Is something wrong?"

"Oh I'm just awesome," Lucifer mumbled, his voice pitched an octave higher than usual.

Then Kerberosel's voice came over the line. "This better be good, James Winchester."

"I am so not asking what I just interrupted. Okay, we have a problem," James started, pacing the floor of his guest room. "Loki's here, I can sense him…but only part of him."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lucifer asked. James assumed it was on speakerphone by this point.

"Whoever had him has drained all the human out of him. He's here, but we can't go looking for him. I can feel his aura…he's here to kill us, guys. You two, Isadora, and me."

"Then what are we going to do?" Kerberosel demanded.

"I'm working on that! The two of you are armed, keep making your way to the demons, try to avoid Loki…and ju-…kay?…but whatev…do not…got it?…"

"James, you're breaking up," Kerberosel said. "Move somewhere with better signal."

But James had already hung up, unaware that Lucifer and Kerberosel had missed the end of his sentence. He dropped his phone into the pocket of his leather trench coat and sat down against the wall, leaning his head back against the lightly printed wallpaper. Spending time with Castiel was a mixture of wonderful and terrible. Being with both of his fathers was everything he'd longed for, but being a stranger to them hurt more than they realized. They didn't know him, yet he knew every minute detail about _them_.

He knew everything from Dean's favorite place to get pie to knowing Castiel skipped the faster paced part of the show tune he sung James to sleep with at night. He even knew Dean never got around to telling Cas he broke his favorite vase; the broken pieces of it were buried by the tree in the backyard. James smirked at the thought of ratting his dad out just to watch Castiel bitch at him like any wife would, but that would get complicated when Dean questioned how he knew about it. Complicated so far seemed to be the best word James could think of that applied to the situation he and his friends had gotten into.

* * *

><p>Kerberosel leapt off the bed, body taut as a wire. "We need to find somewhere safe from Loki, s-somewhere warded against demons so he can't find us. A-And we need to warn Isadora and-"<p>

"Kerberosel," Lucifer interrupted, grabbing the half breed's shoulders. "Calm down. We'll handle this."

"But Loki is here! This is a paradox waiting to happen! If he kills our child selves, he'll take us down with them, and then we can't save him and Castiel and-"

Lucifer took his friend's face in his hands, holding it tightly. "Kerberosel, you listen to me and you listen good. We're armed. We're smart. We're going to figure this out. But above all, know that I would never let anything happen to you. Now can we please roll the credits on this chick flicky ass moment and get going?"

The blond nodded, giving one of Lucifer's hands a tight squeeze before unsnapping the collar, tucking into his pocket and pulling on his coat. By this point he could have happily strangled James for world's most untimely phone call, but rather unfortunately they had bigger issues to worry about. Oh yes, like the psychotic, demon blood ridden spawn of an archangel and former demon blood addict. Because _that_ didn't sound like a disaster waiting to happen or anything.

Kerberosel loaded an antique revolver vaguely resembling the Colt, tucking it into his waistband. "Let's go."

* * *

><p>Isadora's head snapped up. <em>Loki<em>. She could feel him, ever so close. Not his child self, no…the real him. _Her_ Loki. She pulled back the curtains of the guest room she was staying in as if she could look out and see him, but of course the sidewalk was empty. There was something wrong with his aura though. It was dark and muddled. Auras had a physical manifestation to the supernaturals that could see them, and his used to glow white, surrounded by soft golds and blues. Now it was just heavy and black.

It wasn't long before Kerberosel called to tell her what she already knew, and she hung up the phone after assuring him she wouldn't do anything rash. The fact he believed her proved him to be even more gullible than she'd originally thought. Telling Isadora Winchester not to do anything rash? Was he _serious_? He'd clearly inherited the trademark angelic naivety if he actually believed that. She laughed quietly; what an adorable, clueless creature Kerberosel could be sometimes. Keeping a firm grip on the location of her brother's aura, she began arming herself.

Time to have some fun.

* * *

><p><strong>*Twelve Years Into The Future*<strong>

Notes or no notes, all of the group's parents were worried sick. Dean paced the floors day and night, calmed only by Mary, who was equally worried but kept it together for his sake. After finding Izzy's note, Sam had held Gabriel while he cried over losing not only Loki but _both_ of his twins. Leslie just wanted to shake Lucifer and slap him one good time, her anger and fear calmed only by Andy. Crowley had been determined to follow them and drag Kerberosel back by the hair if necessary, but Aziraphale told him that having two Crowleys in one timeline would go very, very badly. It was one thing for there to be a child version and teenage version of the same person, no one would know that they even _were_ the same person, but Crowley from twelve years ago and his present self were physically identical.

...

Dean sat on the bed, staring down at his wedding ring. "Cas…I never stop missing you, but now more than ever I wish you were here…here to tell me what to do. Usually it was always me guiding you, but…I don't know what to do anymore. I just want you back," he whispered, as if his dead husband would somehow descend from Heaven to give him an answer. He'd give anything for Cas to smile, take his hands, and tell him everything was going to be okay just like he always used to…before he was taken away, that is. Dean gritted his teeth and cursed himself for tearing up at the memory. He hadn't been the same man since Cas died.

Mary watched from the doorway, turning away before he could see her body shaking with silent sobs.

* * *

><p>Crowley stared blankly out the window. The piano a few feet from him was such a taunt; he could remember watching Aziraphale teach Kerberosel to play it for the first time, so many years ago. At the moment his husband was over at Sam and Gabriel's, trying to help the youngest Winchester soothe the devastated archangel. The demon was alone in the house, or at least he was until he heard the sound of a car pulling up. It wouldn't be Zira; the angel had left only minutes ago and snapped from place to place, not even owning a car.<p>

The front door opened, then: "Crowley?"

"Hello, Bones."

"Hey," the younger man said softly, walking over to stand next to Crowley. "I just thought I'd see how you were doing."

"Oh I'm on top of the sodding world, darling," Crowley replied bitterly.

Bones fiddled with his skull and crossbones tie. "He's got Lucifer there to keep him safe…my brother would never let anything happen to Kerberosel."

"They're on a bloody suicide mission. There's only so much Lucifer can do to keep him safe. Kerberosel's incredibly strong, but he's not like me, he couldn't just kill someone…he doesn't have it in him to kill." Then, turning to Bones, he added, "What about you? How are you holding up with your twin being gone?"

"How do you think."

"Figured. Lucifer's too damn stubborn to die, Bones. And he's too good of a fighter. He'll be fine."

"That would be more convincing if you actually believed a word coming out of your mouth."

Crowley chuckled despite himself. "S'pose it would. You don't have much room to talk, you have no way of knowing if my son's going to make it back here alive."

Bones sighed his agreement, and the two fell into silence. Both of them were showing the signs of fatigue and stress; dark circles under their eyes, clothes a shade more disheveled than normal, and in Crowley's case a faint aroma of the liquor he'd been drowning himself in since Kerberosel left. He never really got drunk given demons had remarkable alcohol tolerance. For once he wished that he could get drunk, if only to numb him from the pain of possibly losing his only son.

"So, where's Aziraphale?" Bones finally asked.

"Trying to tame the wild beast better known as Gabriel. He told me he'll probably be gone for most of the day."

Bones shifted his weight to his other foot. "I could stay, if you wanted. You know, keep you company or whatever."

"You don't have to, I'm sure you've got better things to do."

Bones smiled. "Not a thing."

They didn't do much besides talk, watch TV, and swap amusing stories about Kerberosel and Lucifer. Four hours later, Crowley started falling asleep about halfway through an episode of _Warehouse 13 _after a debate with Bones about him being much better looking than Valda, who Bones said looked like his lost twin. He half consciously shifted forms as he dozed off, his skin replaced by scales and his body melting into the form of a snake. Bones found himself tired as well, leaning his head against the back of the couch as Crowley wrapped himself around his arm.

For the first time since Kerberosel and Lucifer left, they slept peacefully.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Eva paced the warehouse she'd taken up residence in, impatient for Loki to kill the little brats that thought they could throw her plans off track. If Castiel Winchester was saved, everything would change. His death had been the first domino, and having him alive would mean she would have to find another way to begin the chain reaction. What she hadn't counted on was how many people would fight for him even after he was cold, dead, and six feet under. Oh well. They could bring him back all they pleased, she would just go back and kill him again.<p>

There was a war coming, and four teenagers would hardly be the ones to stand in her way.


	16. Wouldn't That Save You?

***I feel SO AWFUL for not updating sooner! I had it done a few days ago, but slightly long story why it's just now posted. My muse...well, my muse is a royal bitch and apparently has something against working properly for this fic. Anyways, thanks to Reaper's Curse for the idea for a scene in this chapter :-)**

"_So, help me decide_

_Help me to make up_

_Make up my mind_

_Wouldn't that save you?_

_Wouldn't that save you?_

_Wouldn't that save you…"_

_~Save You by Matthew Perryman Jones_

"Ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

Lucifer snapped the collar around Kerberosel's neck, fastening it and holding the soft leather for a moment before releasing it. This was the real deal. It had finally come time to meet the demon responsible for Loki's kidnapping, the two having narrowly avoided several confrontations with the aforementioned half archangel. Currently Crowley and Aziraphale led them into a dark warehouse, Kerberosel instinctively grabbing onto Lucifer's hand so they didn't get separated. And well, he was bloody terrified, but he definitely wasn't gonna admit that one out loud.

Aziraphale walked with his arm through Crowley's; silent, collared, and submissive. Kerberosel tightened his grip on his friend's hand and mimicked the angel. The warehouse was massive, old crates stacked up in a few places, giving the impression of hallways as they weaved in and out of them. Out of the corner of his eye Kerberosel saw Crowley give Zira's hand a reassuring squeeze, their eyes meeting briefly before they fell back into their roles. Kerberosel smiled. _That_ was the version of his parents he knew and loved.

"_Grrf."_

Lucifer stilled at the sound of a playful growl. It wasn't menacing, more like the sound a dog made when it was playing tug-a-war or wrestling with its siblings. He turned in the direction of the sound, seeing a shape emerge from behind a crate. A huge footed, large eyed lab puppy bounded up to him, body shaking furiously with the force of her rapidly wagging tail. Lucifer's face suddenly broke out in a grin, crouching down to scratch her behind the ears.

"Who is that?" Zira asked.

Lucifer ruffled the lab's short fur affectionately. "This is my hound, Lindsey. She must have found me through scent."

Lindsey backed away from Crowley and Aziraphale (hounds only took to one person once they found their demigod, or in this case demigod/werewolf), rubbing up into her owner's hand with a happy whine. Kerberosel smiled and went to step back to give them their space, only for the puppy to put her huge paws up on his legs and pant gleefully up at him. The half breed was surprised, given that demigods' hounds were much like hellhounds in the sense that they only took to one person. Crowley's hellhound liked Zira and Kerberosel only because it viewed them as a part of her master.

Lucifer stared at the pair of them, a terrifying recognition settling in. _Oh, gods, _he thought.

But no one saw the way he paled. Kerberosel was laughing softy as the hound licked his face, and Crowley was mumbling something about it better not get hair on his suit, though everyone knew he didn't mean it; he loved hounds of hellish (perhaps in this case Hades-ish would be more appropriate) descent and of course had one of his own. Aziraphale just smiled fondly.

"This is all very touching, but we're here to meet with someone, remember?" Crowley asked impatiently.

Lucifer nodded. "Right. Come on Linds."

Crowley watched the puppy walk obediently to Lucifer's side. "Don't you think we should have her wait on us?"

"Demons and demigods have hounds, it will make the sell that much more convincing."

"He's right," Kerberosel added.

Crowley sighed. "Fine. Let's go before she comes looking for us."

* * *

><p>Isadora sat on the couch, wincing as Gabriel wrapped her arm, blood seeping through the gauze. "You don't have to do this, it'll heal," she insisted.<p>

"Shut it and let me work."

She fell silent. Confronting Loki had hardly gone as planned…

"_Loki?" she asked softly._

_She had finally tracked him down and now found him standing by a small lake, staring over the water. Izzy walked up behind him, tentatively placing a hand on his shoulder. She didn't care about her friends' warnings; if this was their brother they would do the same thing. Loki may have been stripped of his grace, his humanity, but he was still her twin, the twin she'd feared to be dead on the nights Gabriel reached his worst and sobbed about losing hope. She needed to see him, just to confirm that no matter what mental state he was in that he was alive._

_He turned to look at her with familiar eyes. "Isadora...Jessiel...Winchester."_

_Izzy flinched. He'd never offered to call her by her full name, and he spoke it as if he was identifying a target which honestly, he probably was. "Yeah Loki, it's me, Izzy."_

"_Which is really kind of a pathetic nickname. Izzy? That sounds like something you'd name a Chihuahua."_

"_And here I was thinking you were the mannered one of the two us," she mumbled before attempting a small smile. "Careful there bro, you're starting to sound a little too much like me."_

_He scoffed. "I'm stronger than you ever were and ever will be, Isadora. Emotions are just such a waste of time…I've become so much stronger now that I don't have to worry about my slut of a sister and who she's whoring around with, or comforting our parents when they don't know where you are. Not giving a damn about what happens to you is such a relief."_

_Those words stung, but like an animal, she lashed out when she was hurt. She waved her hand and sent him flying backwards, his body landing in the water with a satisfying splash. The water settled, and she waited for a few moments. He did not resurface. The water was utterly still. Brow furrowed, she backed up and decided now may be a good time to leave. Izzy never backed down from a challenge, but she wasn't suicidal._

_She turned around, only to run face first into Loki._

_Taking in his murderous expression, she made to click her fingers and disappear like her mom had taught her, but Loki grabbed a handful of her long hair and hurled her ten feet away into a tree. It was fairly weak and splinter slightly under her weight, the uneven shards of wood biting into her ribcage. She heaved herself back to her feet, wincing as the skin sealed back together and forced the splinters out. Her bones snapped back into place with a sickening crack. Loki watched calmly, a challenge in his eyes._

"_That _hurt_, you son of a bitch," she growled._

"_It was intended to."_

_Isadora needed to get out of there. Loki would kill her if she didn't kill him first, and she could never drive her blade into her own baby brother, evil or not. The only logical thing to do, and usually it was an option she would never even consider, was to retreat. Lucifer and Kerberosel were looking into a way to alter the timeline they came from, and she may be stubborn as hell, but she wasn't stupid enough to interfere._

_Then Loki was on her, pulling back an angel blade of his own and pinning her to the now split tree with a strength known not even to her. His blade emanated a darkness, a power that could be created only from something horrible. It had a aura of its own…an aura that made her sick to be in such close proximity of. For the first time in her life she was completely vulnerable, with no way to fight back. It was her greatest fear come to life._

"_I'm your sister, Loki," she said through gritted teeth. "You're being a dick." Negotiating wasn't her best skill, clearly._

_He sneered and drove the blade down. It seemed like everything was moving in slow motion. The moonlight caught its metallic glint, shining into the dark evening. Her high heeled boots dug into the soft ground beneath her, her fingers biting into the bark that she was forced against. She was cornered. And even as she closed her eyes and readied herself for the blow, sending out a silent prayer that Sam could get Gabriel through it when they found out she was dead, praying also that her three friends could save her uncle, even praying that Nico would forgive her for how vastly she underappreciated him, she tried to find a way out._

_It wasn't her that sent Loki flying backwards. Well, it was her, but not her conscious self. It was a bone deep survival instinct that she didn't even realize was engrained in her until it happened. Two massive, gold streaked amber wings burst forth from her back, two rugged slits torn into her black tank top as they cut easily through the fabric. The sheer force of it knocked Loki away so hard that when he landed, he was unconscious. Her body hummed with barely restrained grace, the very same grace that had taken him down. Adrenaline pounded through her as she arched them high, the feathers soft against the exposed skin of her back. _

_Knowing that she was a goner once the adrenaline faded, she materialized in her parents' living room with a ruffle of feathers that had never announced her arrival before then. Sam looked up from the armchair, paling as he took in the yet-to-be-healed scrapes and bruises and the slowly lowering wings holding her a good two inches off the ground. Gabriel was closest and rushed to her side, catching her in his arms just as she fainted._

Now here she was, her "mommy" wrapping the wound on her arm where Loki's blade had managed to nick her. It wasn't fatal but had drained her energy, leaving her to pass out as soon as she let go of the rush of adrenaline and grace that had been keeping her upright. Her shirt was torn down the back, her hair was clotted with leaves, dirt, and a little blood, and her jeans had several holes in them where splinters had pieced the pale grey denim. Gabriel asked what the hell had happened to her, but she could only shake her head numbly, unable to even put the encounter into words. Because come on, how the hell do you tell someone you just narrowly avoided being killed by your baby brother, who by the way is your kid from another timeline? Keeping her mouth shut, for the first time in sixteen years, sounded like the best route.

* * *

><p>"Ah, you brought entertainment," drawled a voice from the darkest corner of the warehouse.<p>

"They make amusing little pets," Crowley lied smoothly, grabbing Aziraphale's collar and pulling him forwards. "Evangeline, I presume."

"Call me Eva." She rose, coming forwards. "Want to introduce me to your friends?"

"I have a mouth, I know how to use it, and my name is Lucifer," the half wolf said testily, his fingers tightening around Kerberosel's collar without meaning to.

"And your pet's name?"

"Don't know, don't care."

Clearly she approved of the lie, for she smirked and eased herself back down into the chair she'd formerly been seated in. "So tell me gentleman and pet angels, why did you set up a meeting with me?"

Crowley spoke with ease and confidence, slipping back into the persona of the Crossroads Demon he'd been for so many centuries. "Because a little birdie tells me the demons are planning something massive, and we want in."

"Give me one good reason."

"I'm a Crossroads Demon." Former one, technically, but it wasn't too much of a lie. "I have connections you could use. But if we're going to be in this together, I want to be in the loop. I know what you know."

Having not yet possessed Doctor Noir's fiancé (whom she'd chosen since the woman shared the demon's given name), it was pale green eyes, masked only by a lock of strawberry blond hair, that stared up into Crowley's. "You see sweetie, this all started a long time ago. I have the Fates tethered and chained…and they're going to kill an angel for me."

"Why do you need an angel dead?" Lucifer questioned.

"Because a being of Hell shedding Holy blood is what begins the war."

"What war?"

"We're sick of being inferior to those feathery assholes. I've gathered my army…the demons are declaring war against the angels. And I have to say Lucifer, your little friend sickens me to look at. Angel blood tainting our species…come now, did you really think I couldn't feel the demonic genes in him? He's an abomination."

Everyone knew their cover was blown, so Lucifer didn't hesitate in stepping in front of Kerberosel and snarling, "Don't you touch him."

"No intentions." She glanced behind Kerberosel at something no one else could see. "I have someone here who's a little hooked on demon blood…just imagine him when he gets a little angel mixed in with it. You really shouldn't have brought your little friend here…oh well, I'm sure the look on your face will be priceless when you get to watch him die." She smirked before taking on a singsong voice. "Oh Loki, come out come out wherever you are…"

No one, no matter how much they blamed themselves, could have prevented what happened next. Lucifer couldn't turn fast enough, Crowley and Aziraphale were standing too far away, and Loki was just too damn quick. Even Lindsey's soft whine didn't come soon enough to prepare them. Kerberosel didn't know what hit him until it was too late. He turned, ready to defend himself, but Loki was already on him. It was a fraction of a second too late to help him. All the while, Eva sat in the dark corner, laughing as if the entire situation was so hilarious. Her grin was wide and sadistic as she watched her handmade war machine tear into Kerberosel's throat.

Because everyone knew that the only thing that could kill a half angel…was another half angel.


	17. Even If You Cannot Hear My Voice

***A bit of a nod to the prologue, I used the same song, but different lyrics :D**

"_Have heart my dear, we're bound to be afraid_

_Even if it's just for a few days, making up for all this mess_

_Light up, light up, as if you have a choice_

_Even if you cannot hear my voice, I'll be right beside you dear…"_

_~Run by Snow Patrol_

"_Kerberosel!"_

Lucifer was at the half angel's side in a second, catching his delicate body before it could hit the ground. Loki walked calmly to Eva's side, his teeth stained red in Kerberosel's blood. They watched with cold amusement as Lucifer begged over and over for his friend to wake up. Lindsey crawled over and nuzzled Kerberosel's limp hand with a grieved whine, Lucifer pressing his fingers to the side of Kerberosel's neck, desperately searching for a pulse. Some sign of life, some way to tell himself that his best friend - and gods help him maybe something else - wasn't dead. He was completely still as he searched for the thrum of blood under the half breed's skin. _Please Hades let there be a pulse…_

There wasn't one.

Aziraphale buried his head in Crowley's shoulder. He had no idea why he felt like his heart had just been ripped out by watching this stranger be killed, emotions so intense it was almost as if he'd known Kerberosel his entire life, but he was shaken to the core. Crowley wrapped his arms around his husband, looking like he was - miracles never cease - fighting tears of his own. None of them were stupid enough to attack Eva, not with Loki there to kill whomever made the slightest move of aggression. Their plan had just crumbled in front of them, leaving a dead half angel/half demon in its ruins. Lucifer tried everything; using his powers to bring Kerberosel back, CPR, and screaming out as if he was the one dying, all to no avail.

Then there was the sound of heavy footsteps, and they turned to see James approaching, a fire in his eyes that looked nearly palpable. Lucifer glanced up from where he cried silently over Kerberosel's body, shock gradually fading into a vengeful rage. But it looked like James had enough fury in him for the whole damn room. And if he didn't then Isadora certainly did, who was right behind him. Lucifer was suddenly glad he wasn't Evangeline, who was standing before two half archangels, one of whom's angelic father she'd murdered, and she had turned the other's brother into an apathetic war machine against his will. Eva was _fucked_.

"Is he alive?" James asked, staring down at Lucifer.

The half demigod shook his head numbly. "She set Loki on him…he never stood a chance, James."

Pain flashed through James' eyes, but his voice was calm when he said, "Izzy?"

She withdrew two long blades, etched in Enochian carvings, and threw them one right after the other with deadly precision. The blades cut right through Eva's hands, pinning her down to the arms of her chair. The sigils prevented her from using magic or physical force to free herself. Loki made to lunge for his sister, but she saw it coming and lazily flicked her wrist, watching expressionlessly as he flew into a stack of crates, knocking them over and crashing onto the ground with them. He growled as he pulled a splintered piece of wood from his abdomen.

James leaned close to Evangeline, bracing his hands on top of her pinned ones and snarling, "Why did you kill my dad?"

"Because it was _fun_."

His grace flared in anger, traveling through his hands to hers and sending a hard jolt of pain from the back of her neck all the way down her spine. As she made a strangled noise, he pushed the blades in deeper and asked her once more in a feral whisper: "Why?"

"It was nothing personal," she gasped, straining uselessly against the knives. "We had to kill an angel and he was just…there. And how do you know his death was planned?"

"Kerberosel was transmitting every word you said to me telepathically. I know about the war, and the Holy blood shit, but why _him_?" He was furious to find his eyes burning with tears.

"Because he was weakened by his pregnancy and easy to strike down. The less the Fates had to do, the smoother the kill went."

James shook in fury, hearing his father's murder spoke of with such casualness. "You _bitch_!" he shouted, twisting the knives roughly and relishing every moment of her scream.

"How do we unbind the Fates and keep them from killing Castiel?" Isadora asked, panting from the strength it took to hold Loki down while they questioned Eva.

The demon smirked. "You don't, sunshine. I'm the only one that can and it's never going to happen."

"Sure about that?" Isadora threw her angel blade, it landing mere millimeters from Eva's heart. "Tell us how to save Castiel and Loki or next time it goes in the heart."

"And Kerberosel." They looked over to see Lucifer stand, holding the small body in his arms. "Tell me how to save him."

"There is something you can do for that one…" Eva started.

"What?"

Her breathing ragged from the knife lodged between her ribs, the demon breathed, "Throw him a nice, lovely funeral, and bring flowers to his grave every time you remember being completely useless when he died in your arms. _That's_ what you can do for him, Lucifer."

It was the straw that broke the camel's back. Or more accurately, the words that brought forth the creature inside of Lucifer that had stirred the minute he saw Loki attack Kerberosel. Eva was right to pale just slightly when she saw Lucifer's body start to change. His eyes flashed blood red, the fangs of a wolf elongating as a nearly transparent black smoke emanated from his hands. It was a side effect of his mixed blood: he had a second self living inside of him, a self that was violent and bloodthirsty, a self that could only be brought out by a rage like no other.

Evangeline had to be the most fucked demon in the history of the universe. Isadora was growing angrier and angrier as she had to hold her own twin down, James was in one of obliterating the entire room with the force of his repressed grace, Lucifer was morphing into what his parents called a shadow wolf (the predatory instincts of a wolf in a human form), and Crowley was ready to smite the whole lot of them just to protect Aziraphale. Oh and then there was Lindsey, who in spite of being so small, stood at Lucifer's side with her teeth bared in a snarl, ready to protect her master and avenge the half breed he grieved.

"You can't just kill me." Her voice was growing strained and panicky, her tune changing drastically as she realized how much trouble she was in. "I'm the only chance you have at getting your precious Castiel and Loki back."

"Alright _listen_," James hissed. "Because of you, my father's dead, one of my best friends is a monster, and one of my other best friends is _dead_. Don't. Fuck. With. _Me._" Light fixtures began blowing, leaving them in darkness as his body shook from head to toe.

James' wings were the opposite of Isadora's as they tore through his shirt and coat. Where hers were dark like an onyx, he looked like he wore appendages made of diamond. Two almost blindingly bright white wings unfurled, raising him up off the ground and reaching high above his head. They were pure, unmarred white save for the glittery flecks of sapphire blue scattered throughout them, a blue seen only in one other set of wings, a blue found in the eyes of only one angel. Castiel. Never had James looked more like the angel's son than in that moment.

Light suddenly burst from Eva's body, coming first from her eyes and mouth, and then enveloping her entirely. It would be blinding to a human, so bright that even the demon had to squint against the force of it. Lucifer still looked ready to explode, his grief and terror at well and truly losing Kerberosel transferred to an all consuming rage. Had Eva not already been smote by James, Lucifer would have done it. But by the time the light faded, all that remained on the chair was a pile of ash.

The only drawback being, of course, that they had achieved nothing but getting some of their anger out.

Castiel was still dead, Loki was still one evil son of a bitch, and now they could add Kerberosel to that list. As the deceased half breed would have said - _epic fail. _Even as his wings still held him a foot or more off the ground, James found himself trembling, his body on the edge of breakdown. Isadora stood by a wall silently, trying to stay strong and pretend that it didn't kill her to have to hold Loki down, which was slowly sapping her strength. Lucifer came back to himself with a pained noise of pure defeat, falling next to his friend on knees that felt like rubber. He brushed a curl of blond hair from Kerberosel's face…gods, he'd never see those big brown eyes again. He'd never have the chance to tell Kerberosel how he felt.

Crowley and Aziraphale didn't know what to think. They felt something inside them break into a million pieces to see Kerberosel laying there, but they didn't understand why. And amidst the chaos, it had registered that somehow James was Castiel's son. So much had happened in the short amount of time they'd been inside the warehouse. It was like one large blur, happening too fast for anyone to keep track or have any idea of what was going to happen next. Zira was dizzied by the darkness of his own aura; being one of those "bleeding heart angels," as Crowley once called him, seeing the half breed die and feeling the pain emanating from the group of teens broke his "bleeding heart." Tears fell from his sky blue eyes as Crowley pulled him into a tight embrace.

James lowered to the ground, shrouding himself in his wings, their softness offering no comfort. All of the anger that had been fueling him was drained…_he_ was drained. Despite what he said, was there really any hope for saving Castiel? Or Loki? Or the most recent victim to this, Kerberosel? He'd lost his father and two of his friends…and he had no idea how to fix it. Like his human dad, his family and friends were everything to him, he'd sacrifice his life for them in a heartbeat. And also like Dean, he now knew there was not a worse feeling than being completely and utterly useless while they were taken from you one by one.

"J-James…" Isadora stuttered, raising a hand to point behind him.

The half angel was silent, too lost in thought to pay her any mind.

Again: "James."

Her voice still didn't register.

"James."

_That_ one however…that voice…he knew that voice. Trembling, he rose unsteadily and turned. The owner of that voice stood before him, looking more beautiful than James could remember. But_ how_? How was it even possible? Castiel shimmered and faded in and out like a mirage, his blue eyes brighter than ever. His midnight black wings rested against his back, the feathers rustling softly as he approached his son. And the look in his eyes…oh _God_, he recognized James for who he was, the way he reached out so familiar, his arms open in a way that could only belong to a father awaiting his son. Tears began to fall down James' face. Seeing the past version of his father had been one thing, but this one _knew_ him.

He fell, sobbing, into Castiel's arms, all dignity forgotten as he inhaled lungful after lungful of the scent of Heaven, musk, and an old trench coat. His voice was hoarse from tears when he shakily asked, "How are you…are you…are you real?"

"Very." The image was half transparent, but the arms that tightened around James were as real and solid as his own.

"Oh God." Sobs overtook him again, and suddenly he was that four year old boy again, standing in his parents' doorway. "I missed you _so much_…it was never the same, and Dean never stopped loving you, and Mary…she's so beautiful, Dad. She always wanted to know you." His tearful babbling slowed, his voice dropping when he sobbed out, "I love you."

"And I love you, James. Words cannot express how much I missed you, and Dean, and how much I wanted to watch Mary grow up. I thought of all of you every waking moment of the day and night." Castiel's hand stroked through James' hair, his son's body stilling as the tears finally dried.

James leaned back just slightly to study his father's wavering image. "How are you here…and why do you keep fading in and out?"

"I was found in Heaven. It takes something very special to locate an angel sealed off like I was after my death. A one of a kind, to be exact." His gaze drifted to Lucifer. "A species like no other."

The trademark blue eyes of a Gallagher were suddenly bright with tears. "Kerberosel."

"His spirit found its way to mine when he died. Because he is half demon, he still has a conscious tie to this world as well as the one I was in. That tie is what maintains my presence."

Lucifer and James stared at each other, pieces suddenly clicking together as those words registered. The wolf was the first to speak. "Does that mean…" He cleared his throat to rid the lump forming in it. "Does that mean part of Kerberosel is still alive?"

Cas smiled. "He's still hanging on in there. If we can get him back to his time before it's too late, I believe he will live." Lucifer's grin in response possibly couldn't be matched even by the sun in its brightness.

"What about you?" James whispered. "When Kerberosel's brought back he loses his tie to Heaven…does that mean we lose you too?"

"Time has rewritten itself, all because of that one half demon that just refused to give up…and because all of you came back. Because you came to save the people you loved. I was never meant to die…it was never Fate, it was a demon's handiwork. We will travel back to our time, and my ties to Heaven will be severed."

"Meaning?" Isadora finally inserted, her own wheels turning.

"Meaning that the rest of my spirit will be back here where it belongs. Eva dying put time back in its place."

It was too good to be true. James' laugh was so bright and childlike it was almost musical as he threw himself back into his father's arms, his body already gathering strength to take them home. He had Castiel back, his father would be the man he used to be, Mary would finally be able to know the angel that brought her into the world, and Kerberosel was going to live; everything was back in place.

All except one thing.

Isadora, terrified to get her hopes up, was knelt by Loki, who'd fallen unconscious almost right after Castiel arrived. "What about my brother?" A chip fell off her tough exterior, revealing the scared girl underneath, the very human part of her that just wanted her brother back.

"I am sorry to say setting him right will not be as seamless," Castiel said regretfully. "Sam was once enslaved to demon blood, and we had to right him by locking him in Robert Singer's panic room until it was out of his system. If we do the same for Loki, then by all means…"

"He's going to be okay?" Isadora asked, brown eyes glistening with hope.

"We all are," the angel confirmed.

Then there was a lot of hugging, a lot of confusion when Crowley and Aziraphale were told to carry on with life as usual (and to please let this time's Dean, Castiel, Sam, and Gabriel know that James and Izzy were fine), a lot of crying induced by pure joy, and for the first time in years…a lot of genuine _happiness_. No grief weighing on anyone's shoulders, no pain or anger or fear. Just family and friends and the overwhelming knowledge that everything was going to be okay.


	18. And I'll Be Running Back To You

***In the words of the Doctor: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. That is all I can possibly say about the lateness :'( But on a brighter note: WE HAVE KIMNESS! She wrote the Jo scene XD**

"_I wish today was just like any other day, 'cause today has been the best day_

_Everything I'd ever dreamed_

_And I started to walk, pretty soon I will run_

_And I'll be running back to you_

'_Cause I followed my star, and that's what you are."_

_~Song For Ten by Tim Phillips_

"Gabriel," Sam groaned.

The archangel snored on.

"Gabe, wake up."

More persistent attempts to suck the drapes of the wall.

"GABRIEL!"

The angel shot up, looking around confusedly, before finally letting his gaze land on his sleep deprived husband, who lay there looking exhausted. Gabriel felt a pang of guilt. Sam had been so busy trying to comfort Gabriel over Loki and Izzy being missing that he'd barely made time for himself. He silently promised himself that as soon as they got the kids back (because they WOULD, damn it) he was going to make it up to Sam ten times over.

"Someone's at the door," Sam said sleepily.

Gabriel hopped off the bed, stretching and yawning. "I'm goin', I'm goin'…"

He went downstairs and hopped off the second step from the bottom, running his fingers through his disheveled blond hair as he walked through the living room and pulled open the front door. He could hardly believe what he saw. Surely he was dreaming. After days of worrying, surely she wasn't just standing there. But she was, smirking in spite of looking like she was about to pass out from exhaustion.

"Took you long enough," said Isadora.

"You're back…oh Izzy, you're back!" He swept her into a tight hug, nearly breaking her ribs as he buried his face in her light brown hair. She mumbled something about him acting like a chick but wrapped her arms around his waist, wincing when he yelled, "SAMMY! GET DOWN HERE!" at the top of his lungs.

There was the sound of heavy footsteps on the stairs and her sleep-rumpled father appeared at the bottom of them. Had her pride not prevented it, she would have cried in pure happiness. She finally had her parents back. Her _real_ parents back, the ones that knew her and missed her. Sam's eyes locked on hers and he was frozen for just a moment before he cleared the living room in a few ridiculously long-legged strides, crushing both her and Gabriel in an oxygen-restricting embrace. They didn't need any words right then. Because even though they didn't know it, the whole family was about to be back together again.

It was time to save her twin.

* * *

><p>Crowley leaned against the porch railing, one arm around Aziraphale and the other around Bones. His husband and the boy that had become one of his closest friends. None of them could explain it, but before the sun had even risen, they were wide awake. They were so restless and antsy that they couldn't even <em>imagine<em> sleeping. Bones was taught as a wire against Crowley's side, and Aziraphale's sky blue eyes looked miles away. The demon was fighting to repress his own restlessness if for no other reason than to prevent panic. Usually feelings of anxiety like this meant something very, very bad.

"Something's wrong, Crowley," Aziraphale murmured.

Crowley sighed and stroked a hand through the angel's soft blond curls. "I know, love…I know."

Suddenly Bones went even more rigid, his gaze fixing down the driveway. "Guys…"

They turned to see what he was staring at. A figure was walking ever closer, the fog concealing all but that the gait definitely belonged to a male, and that whoever it was carried someone in their arms. Crowley disengaged from Zira and Bones, starting down the driveway, the other two following close behind him. Every hair on his body seemed to be prickling with anxiety the closer he drew to the mysterious form. It wasn't until they were only a few yards apart that he recognized the shaggy brown hair and the bright blue eyes.

But worse was that he recognized who lay limp in Lucifer's arms.

"Kerberosel," Crowley breathed, immediately taking the half breed from Lucifer and cradling him close, staring down at his stark white face. Blood was matted in his hair and on the side of his neck, crusted around a jagged bite mark. "Lucifer, what happened to him?"

"He was attacked," the wolf explained, but said no more because suddenly Bones was pulling him into a tight hug. Lucifer laughed weakly. "Hey bro."

"Don't you ever scare me like that again, asshole." Then as an afterthought, Bones added, "Or at least take me with you next time."

"He's not breathing," Crowley whispered, his fingers shaking as he pressed them to the side of Kerberosel's neck and raised his voice to yell, "Zira, he's not breathing!"

"Guys, guys, don't panic yet," Lucifer said, cringing when he saw that Crowley's eyes had turned solid black in pure fierce protectiveness. "He's going to be okay."

Everyone turned expectant glances on him, so he took a deep breath and began explaining.

* * *

><p>Jo watched her husband pace restlessly as he muttered about 'ungrateful backstabbing demons' whilst continuing to wear a fiery hole in the floor. Ellen would probably threaten to smite his angelic ass again, most likely because she and Bobby had a 'thing' going on lately that they denied blatantly but made totally obvious with their 'researching trips' and 'secret glances', but that had stopped when the kids disappeared. Ash had asked to DJ their wedding as well and had gotten revoked of all drinking privileges for a week. Everyone had been working hard to find the lost children but after the notes had come to light they realized there wasn't much they could do but wait for them to come back.<p>

Adam and Anna had come over to ask if their had been any word, and their fifteen year old fledgling Milanie had also tagged along, not because she cared of course she totally didn't miss her annoying cousins and friends at all. Not a bit. That's why she was threatening to break all their bones when they returned because she didn't like them. Yep. Okay so she might miss them a _little_. She was still going to beat their sorry asses when they came back for the stress they caused making her strawberry blonde hair frizz up!

Nicholas at the moment was sat by Milanie, watching her worriedly as she muttered darkly something about "James - duck tape, a rubber duck and crazy glue. Loki - green die, shaving cream and a baseball bat…" She continued on in that pattern and he was kinda hoping they didn't return if only to save them from Milanie's wrath.

Meanwhile Jo looked down as she felt somebody tug her pants. Her and Lucifer's second fledgling, six year old little girl Ellie was looking at her, sad and confused. Her big brown eyes framed by her chocolate hair with freckles covering her nose made her look impossibly cute and sad.

"Mummy where's James? He said he'd tell me stories in fourteen sleeps. So where is he?"

Jo's heart broke a little. With all the scares that had been going on lately; James' attempted suicide, demons attacking, the kids going missing, and Ellie was wonderfully oblivious to it all only the way children could be. Jo scooped up her daughter and pressed a kiss to the silky skin of her temple.

"I know sweetie. He'll be back."

When Lucifer lost concentration and set another chair on fire, he muttered angrily and absent-mindedly fixed the damage. Suddenly Lucifer, Anna, Nicholas, Milanie and Ellie froze for a moment and then blinked. Lucifer breathed out in relief, looked a bit shocked as the natural second sense of knowing just washed over him. He could tell when something had been righted.

"They're back."

Jo sighed in relief as well. "Thank goodness. See sweetie, it's all right," she said to Ellie before reverting her attention to the others. "I'll call Bobby and mom and let them know."

Ellie looked confused. "Mommy, who's the other one?"

"What other one sweetie?" Jo's brow furrowed. Lucifer and Anna shared a knowing look whilst Nicholas frowned as if trying to remember something important. He felt what they felt, a grace, but for the life of him he couldn't recall whom it belonged to, or why its presence felt so eerie and haunting.

* * *

><p>Dean lay on his bed, fiddling with the band on his ring finger. He was worried sick about James, and he knew that if Cas was there then he'd know all the right things to say. Hell, if Cas were there then James probably would have never left in the first place. Dean turned and buried his face in the pillow, remembering when Castiel's head had rested there every night, how sometimes Dean would lay awake at night and just watch him sleep no matter how chick-flicky it was. How no matter which position they were in when they fell asleep, Dean always woke up and found his angel wrapped in his arms.<p>

"_What, am I your personal teddy bear now or something?" Dean grumbled._

_Cas smiled and nuzzled Dean's neck affectionately. It was the first day of their honeymoon, not counting the very heated night before when they arrived. They were on a very secluded island, Dean having chosen it knowing how much Castiel loved the beach. Now they were curled up together in their lavish, oceanfront hotel suite, watching the sun rise over the water. Dean couldn't be happier. Sam and Gabriel were watching James, so they had each other all to themselves._

"_So, we've got the whole day ahead of us, what do you want to do?" Dean asked._

_Castiel blushed and hid his face in Dean's shoulder, prompting the hunter to grin and ask, "What is it?"_

"_Nothing. You will think the request silly." His voice was muffled by Dean's shoulder._

"_No I won't. Come on, tell me."_

_Cas raised his head, still blushing a little, and no Dean did NOT find that abso-fucking-lutely adorable. "Could we…" He made some vague gestures to Dean, thoroughly tongue tied._

_Dean kissed him long and deep, wrapping his hand around the back of Castiel's neck and rubbing the angel's tongue with his own. Cas made a noise of pure frustration when Dean pulled back, smirking. "Am I on the right track?" His hand crept down Castiel's spine, rubbing the sensitive area the wings unfolded from._

_Castiel's head fell back with a low moan, pressing himself against Dean's hand and nearly shaking with need. The human knew that with angels, the wings could be extremely arousing, and the sounds his husband made were enough to kick him into action. He moved them so that he laid on top of Cas, pulling him into another breathtaking kiss. Castiel's legs rose up to wrap around Dean's waist._

"_I love you," Cas breathed against Dean's mouth._

_Dean pressed the softest of kisses to the side of the angel's face, whispering in his ear, "I love you too, Cas. More than anything."_

_"Make love to me."_

Dean didn't realize he was crying until he felt the wetness on the pillow beneath him. Tears slowly leaked down his face, memories throwing themselves at him one after the other. He'd woken up missing Cas even worse than usual, which he didn't know was possible. It was like the day of the funeral all over again. He sat up and wiped his eyes, telling himself he was acting like a girl. But that still didn't ease the overwhelming grief he felt. Only the sounds of Mary moving around downstairs kept him from going completely off the rails.

He got up and went into the adjoined bathroom, making sure he'd erased all evidence of crying before going downstairs. Mary sat on the kitchen counter, staring out the window above the sink. The early morning sunlight filtered in against her face, making her look every bit an angel. He tried not to stare at her sapphire blue eyes too hard, knowing he had to keep it together no matter how tempting it was - even twelve years later - to break down.

"Morning dad," she greeted.

He smiled and walked over, planting a kiss on her forehead. "Mornin' sweetheart. What's for breakfast?"

"Bacon, toast, and scrambled eggs."

He resisted the urge to burst out singing "Have I Told You Lately That I Love You?" and instead settled for giving her a wide grin, bustling around the kitchen helping her. Like her grandmother and namesake, she was a natural. She got more and more like Mary - as in Dean's mother - every single day. Especially little traits like her smile, the soft waves of hair, and her caring nature.

They were eating breakfast when the sound of fluttering wings sounded from behind them. Dean shivered; it sounded just like it had when Cas would appear in the room. Expecting Gabriel or Aziraphale or maybe even Lucifer (him, Jo, and Nicholas were in town to visit), he turned around to face the direction from which the noise had come from. For a moment, with the light against the back of the wild haired, trench coat clad figure, he could swear he was seeing Castiel.

His breath coming in short gasps, he asked, "…Cas?"

"Sorry to disappoint," said a slightly less gruff voice than that of his husband, but one that was just as familiar.

His leather trench coat swaying behind him, James stepped forward into the kitchen, wearing a weak but relieved smile. There was a split second when Dean's heart fell because maybe, deep down somewhere, for a moment he believed that against all odds Castiel had found a way back to them. But it was gone in a flash as he drunk in the sight of his son alive and well. He leapt from his seat, crossing the room in a few quick strides and hugging James with all the strength in his body. James choked a little at the impact but didn't complain, only wrapped his arms around Dean and returned the embrace with equal strength.

The minute Dean let go Mary flung herself at James, threatening that if he ever worried them that way again, she was kicking his ass. Dean smirked, a little surprised. Maybe there was a little of him in his daughter after all. Smiling to himself, he walked over and wrapped his arms around both of his children, holding them against his chest and drawing in a deep breath. Had there not been a massive hole at his side where Castiel should have been, everything would feel perfect, it would feel…complete. But without Cas that feeling could never be.

"Dad," James started, leaning away, "there's something I need to show you."

"What do you mean?"

James' smile rivaled the sun in its brightness. "There's someone here that wants to see you."

Confused, Dean took his son's outstretched hand and allowed himself to be led outside. They went out through the back door, a befuddled Mary following in their wake. The sun had risen, casting golden shadows onto the ground through the leaves of the trees surrounding the yard. Wild flowers grew around the tree line, birds sung happily from their perches. It was almost ethereal. Dean smiled, the sun warming his face. He didn't notice James stepping back, tugging Mary along with him.

Then someone walked out from behind a large oak, his blue eyes alight with joy and possibly tears.

"Hello, Dean."


	19. Tell The World I'm Coming Home

**Author's Note:**

**Good news my lovelies! Not that this is updated because by now because I have a feeling most of you are so pissed off at the wait that you're beyond caring, but that there is only one more chapter after this one, so you don't have to withstand my unforgivably late updates for much longer! Now I am going to go hide from the wrath of my poor neglected readers and finish watching Wanted. *skulks off fearfully***

**P.S. - Some random trivia. I was originally going to name this chapter "Tell The World That I'm Coming" and then realized...well, just think of that name. You'll get it.**

**Another freakin' P.S. because apparently I'm spazzing out tonight - I am now on fictionpress writing some original fiction slash under the penname ItWasARobotHead. And there is a picture of Loki (FINALLY) linked to my profile.**

**Okay, I really am done this time.**

* * *

><p>"<em>I'm coming home, I'm coming home<em>

_Tell the world I'm coming home_

_Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday_

_I know my kingdom awaits, and they've forgiven my mistakes_

_I'm coming home, I'm coming home_

_Tell the world that I'm coming…"_

_~Coming Home by P. Diddy feat. Skylar Grey_

If you later asked Dean about that moment, he couldn't tell you much. Couldn't tell you if he could hear himself think over the sound of his heartbeat pounding in his ears, couldn't tell you if he remembered when his feet started moving, couldn't tell you if he noticed James subtly backing away with Mary. He could only tell you one thing for absolute certain: above and beyond everything and anything he'd ever experienced, nothing could compare to how it felt to finally hold Castiel in his arms.

He was overtaken by his angel's scent, how Cas felt in his embrace, how desperately he wanted to just lock Castiel away and hide him from any dangers the world may present. Try as he might he couldn't think coherently, couldn't piece together the whys or the hows. He could only take in a long breath as he buried in his face in the mop of dark, unruly hair he'd missed for twelve painfully long years. And for the first time in those twelve years, he was at peace. Completely and totally without a single thing wrong in his life.

"Cas…" he whispered, clutching his angel with all of the strength in his body.

Castiel's fingers gripped the back of Dean's shirt so hard they nearly tore the fabric. "I missed you so much." His voice broke noticeably.

They pulled away slightly, Castiel's hand raising to stroke Dean's cheek. The hunter, still in slight disbelief that his husband was really standing there, smiled in ninety-nine percent happiness and one percent bewilderment. Then he realized that, upon studying the angel's features, that Castiel hadn't aged a day. Of course. Dean was still as gorgeous as ever, his muscles still taut and his eyes still a sparkling emerald green, but his eyes were ringed by a few lines that hadn't been present twelve years ago, his very human face showing the natural signs of aging.

"Kind of a disappointment, huh?" Dean laughed, only half joking. "Guess you were hoping to find me like I was the last time you saw me…twelve years does a lot to a guy."

Castiel's eyes were glistening with tears of pure joy and love as he held Dean's face in both hands. He slowly shook his head, smiling. "You're the most beautiful man I've ever seen, Dean. That hasn't changed in the slightest."

Dean leaned forward, pressing his lips to his angel's forehead for a moment, but soon the desire to kiss Castiel became too strong to ignore. He tilted his husband's head up and kissed him, long and slow. Chuckling against Cas' mouth, he caught the angel around the waist when the kiss literally had him weak in the knees. _Just like when we first got together, _Dean thought fondly. Holding Cas up, he didn't break the kiss until he had no other options but to breathe or die of oxygen loss, which would just _suck_ after finally getting his angel back.

Voice hoarse, Castiel said, "I love you."

"I love you too." Dean rested his face in the crook of Castiel's neck, still not quite coming down from the cloud of blissful disbelief he'd been perched atop since laying eyes on Cas.

A soft sob escaped someone behind them, and when Dean turned around he saw Mary standing several yards away, tears slipping down her pale cheeks. "Daddy?"

Castiel's arms fell from around Dean, disengaging as he walked towards his daughter in a trance-like state. He could hardly believe how beautiful she was. Dean's beauty had taken him by enough of a surprise, rendering him nearly speechless when he saw his hunter for the first time in twelve years, and how he was positively overwhelmed by that combined with the sight of his daughter. He wrapped her in one of his arms, pulling her to his side and kissing the top of her soft, blond hair.

His free one reached for James, who stood a couple of feet away. His son didn't hesitate to tuck himself under Cas' arm and press his face into the crook of his father's neck. Castiel smiled as he felt a pair of arms wrap around all three of them, turning so James and Mary could put their free arms around Dean. They stood that way for a long, long time. There was time for questions later.

* * *

><p>"He's breathing again, the bite's starting to close up…he's going to be okay," Zira whispered in relief, sitting next to Kerberosel's bed.<p>

Lucifer was asleep next to the half angel, having refused to leave his friend's side even as he nearly passed out in exhaustion. Crowley stood behind the chair Aziraphale occupied, his fingers rubbing the ever lessening tension out of his angel's shoulders. Bones lingered awkwardly by the window, not quite sure what to do with himself. He was reluctant to leave his twin but found himself bristling as he watched Crowley and Aziraphale. A fierce pang of possessiveness that was completely uncalled for given that despite how close of friends they'd become, Crowley still didn't know he existed, wasn't aware of his presence in the way Bones was constantly aware of the demon's.

"Wonder when he'll wake up," Crowley said, watching his son pensively.

"I don't know," Aziraphale replied softly. "But I hope it's soon. I just want to see him alive and well again." Tears wetted his lashes for a moment before he blinked them away, but they returned and clung on stubbornly. "I thought we'd lost him, when I saw Lucifer carrying him. He looked…so lifeless, so far gone. I can't ever stand to see him that way again, Crowley."

"Neither can I, love." Crowley sighed and tucked a blond curl behind Kerberosel's ear as he slept. "Neither can I."

* * *

><p>"He'll be fine, Izzy. I was watching over Sammy when he went through this, and it was hard, but he made it," Gabriel assured.<p>

Isadora was silent as she stared through the panic room door's tiny window at her screaming, sobbing brother, but she heard Sam ask, "You were watching over me when I was getting Ruby's blood out of my system?"

"Don't let it go to your head, kiddo. I couldn't find anything on Netflix so you were the next best source of entertainment."

Even as he brushed it off with his usual flippancy, Sam could see the truth in Gabriel's eyes. The archangel had been watching over him long before he sought out Sam to be his mate. The hunter felt a stinging in his eyes and a rush of emotion so strong it took him back to the very beginning of his and Gabriel's relationship, of the time they spent falling in love. It seemed like just yesterday the angel was telling Sam that he was in heat over coffee at some rundown little diner. Now here they were, a marriage and a trillion kids later.

Sam wrapped his arms around Gabriel, holding the golden blond head gently against his chest. Nate and Lily flanked Isadora, Nate trying to reassure his sister and Lily keeping her mouth shut because it seemed like whatever she said rubbed Izzy the wrong way. After awhile the five were mostly silent, the only sounds being the bloodcurdling screams echoing within the panic room. When Isadora felt tears coming to her eyes, agonized from feeling her twin in pain, she disappeared in a hurried flap of feathers. She was getting damn tired of things making her feel weak.

Somehow she found herself at the Gallagher household. She appeared on the front porch, her hair blown into her face by the wind stirred by her currently invisible wings. Her clothes were still torn and disheveled; she hadn't had a chance to change since getting back, for shortly after her reunion with her parents she had flown them to where she'd taken Loki to Bobby's panic room and explained what had happened in the past. Now she just longed for a nice, long sleep.

"Izzy?" whispered a shocked voice.

She turned to see Nico walking up the driveway, his eyes full of surprise and happiness. His face broke into a thrilled grin as he picked up the pace, not stopping until he had thrown his arms around her in greeting. Had she not been half angel the force of the hug probably would have knocked her over. She smiled and hugged him back, closing her eyes for a moment. Just to enjoy the rare circumstance when she didn't feel like she had to say or do anything. The calming effect Nico had on her was immediate and a huge relief.

"I missed you," Nico admitted softly. "I was worried freakin' sick Izzy."

"I know. But we have Cas back, and we have…Loki back." _Almost._

He pulled back to look at her, hearing her hesitate towards the end. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, he's just…it's nothing, really, everything's fine." All the while, her twin's screams echoed in her ears.

He reached down and took her hands gently. "I know you better than that, Iz. You can tell me."

"We're having to detox him of the demon blood. But he'll be fine, so no worries," she said, voice coming out much more confident than she felt.

His eyes narrowed. "You're sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"Positive." She forced a smile, giving his hand a squeeze.

He remained skeptical as he led her inside to have a drink and sit for awhile but didn't pry, something for which she was grateful. Admitting aloud how torn up she was over her twin would make her feel weak, which would only make her feel even worse altogether. She actually found a genuine smile coming to her as they sat on the couch and talked about what the past had been like and how things had been going for Nico lately. Conversation came easily to them, lightened by his dry sense of humor. And when he somewhat shyly took her hand, she surprised them both when she didn't pull away.

* * *

><p>Kerberosel's eyes moved rapidly behind his lids, the memory playing out in his mind like images on a movie screen. He couldn't quite grasp consciousness, locked inside himself and unable to respond to the voices he heard all around him. Zira's, Crowley's, Bones', and of course Lucifer's. Relief managed to penetrate his tattered senses; if he was hearing Bones then that must mean that had returned safely to their own time. But the feeling was only brief, because once more he found himself reliving the few short moments for which he was dead.<p>

_Warmth. Peace. Those were the first things that registered to him. Opening his eyes, he found himself lying on sun-warmed grass, his body feeling so light that he wondered if he would even need his wings to fly here. He already knew where he was, for the pain in his neck had vanished and so had the jagged wound left by Loki. He was in Heaven…he was dead. Part of him was surprised at how easily he accepted this fate, but then he reasoned that he wasn't rendered completely useless. Not yet._

_He stood up, something pulling him in a certain direction. Kerberosel didn't question it; he had never questioned his instincts. As his feet carried him across the ground he slowly came to a realization. His strange feelings hadn't been for nothing. All of the tiny flickers of intuition that had shown through the cracks of his mind since childhood suddenly burst forth with stunning clarity, guiding him without an inkling of aforethought direction. He knew the way as if it had lit up in front of him._

_A few moments later found him standing by a glistening, bright creek, and by the side of it sat such a sad sight he could have cried. Castiel, clad in his trench coat just as he had been in the vague memories Kerberosel had of him, sat by its edge with a lonely expression rivaled by none the half breed had ever bore witness to. His heart cracked, on the verge of breaking. He had never seen such a forlorn look haunting someone's eyes._

"_Castiel?" Something about Heaven made his voice sound higher and more melodious than it actually was. Like music._

_The angel turned. In Heaven, his wings were free, unfurling instinctively from where they had rested against his back. Light filtered in from the leaves above in the high trees, casting golden shadows on Castiel's face. Birds sung in the eternal heat of a sunny afternoon. To anyone else the place would have been unbelievably beautiful, the ultimate peace, a place you could rest at after a long, hard life well deserving of such a reprieve. But Kerberosel and Castiel shared a reason that they couldn't find it in themselves to appreciate the captivating sight._

_The people they loved were still alive, and they could never be at peace if they were separated from them. Such a place was rather wasted on them._

"_Hello, Kerberosel." A melancholy smile graced Castiel's features. "How you've grown."_

"_And how you've changed," replied the half angel. His dark eyes were alight with a wisdom well beyond his seventeen years. "You're so incomplete without Dean at your side. As is he without you at his own. The very essense of time was knocked awry when you passed," he explained. Then he stepped forward, his eyes boring into those of his uncle, whom he referred to as such for no other reason than Zira being his father and angels all being brothers in their own way. Also, Castiel had cared for his friends' children as he cared for his own._

_He sighed, looking up through the tree-filtered sunlight. "The balance must be restored, my uncle."_

"_I'm trapped here. Does Dean…does he…?" Cas trailed off, finding himself choked up. "Does he miss me?"_

"_More than you know. There isn't a day that goes by when he doesn't think about you…he still wears his wedding ring."_

_Castiel turned away, not wanting Kerberosel to see the tears that had started to fall. "Take me back," he said softly, choking as he repressed a sob. "Please, please tell me there's a way to take me back to him."_

_The half breed smiled, tucking a strand of pale blond hair behind his ear. "I don't think I'm entirely dead yet. Something's pulling me back down."_

"_You're leaving," Cas realized sadly._

"_Oh yes." Kerberosel smiled. "And I'm taking you with me."_

After he had taken Castiel's hand and surrendered to the pull nagging him, he had found himself here, in this semi-conscious state with no awareness of where he was save for being back in his own time. His body had felt weak and feeble as a leaf from the moment he had started breathing again, and deep within himself, he wondered if he would ever be strong enough to awaken again. But if it meant Castiel could live and Loki could be returned to his former self, then Kerberosel would gladly die for that. Perhaps he was meant to.

* * *

><p>Dean decided questions could wait until much, <em>much <em>later, because as soon as their children left them alone, he found himself kissing Castiel with a hunger he hadn't felt in twelve years. Hands began to wander, clothes started falling to the floor. Cas clung desperately to Dean and the hunter held on just as tightly. Love, lust, and all emotions that fell in between were warring for dominance as he laid the angel down on the bed, his mouth rediscovering every line and crevice of his lover's body. Soon he found that he hadn't forgotten a single one over the years.

Their lovemaking was both heated and passionate. Fast and desperate yet tender. Dean nearly fell apart the minute he was inside of Castiel, but he held back and laced their fingers together on the pillow beside the angel's head, starting to move his hips in a steady but hard rhythm. Heat was rushing down his body and causing him to ache for release. The sight of Castiel beneath him, face contorted in pleasure, was so beautiful that he finally let go, Cas reaching his climax at nearly the same moment. A hoarse cry of pleasure was torn from him as he felt Castiel tighten.

Before long he found himself laying on his back, Castiel sliding into his arms the moment he stilled. He immediately framed that familiar, slender body in his arms. His head was beginning to clear, and it occurred to them that maybe it was finally time to start asking questions. He was almost scared to, as if knowing how it happened one make it less real, as if questioning it would make Castiel disappear again. Silly and very un-Dean-like, but it was how he felt. No matter how much of an over-reaction it was.

"How?" he asked softly.

Castiel didn't need him to elaborate. "James, Isadora, Kerberosel, and Lucifer saved me by going back to the past to set things straight. Kerberosel was nearly killed, so close to death that he was in Heaven. He found me and used the life left in him to bring me home." Sighing against Dean's shoulder, he said, "I hope he's going to be alright."

"We'll check on him in the morning. We should probably give Crowley and Aziraphale some time with him first." He stared at the ceiling for a moment. "So…I'm awake, right?"

"Of course you're awake, Dean," Cas replied, smiling.

"And you're not going anywhere?" God, he sounded like a little kid, but he just couldn't help but think this was too good to be true after twelve years of missing the angel that was laying in his arms.

Castiel leaned up and kissed his husband. "Never again, Dean. Never again."


	20. It Will Be Fine

**Author's Note:**

**Well, guys…it's over. One day there might be a third part about the kids, but I have to finish LCA first lol. Thank you so much to the loyal reviewers that have stuck with me and been patient even when updates have taken two freakin' weeks! I can't express how much I love you all. Sometimes my muse just didn't want to cooperate for this fic, but with the help of your never ending support it has finally reached its end :-) Hugs and kisses to all of you unbelievably amazing people and I hope to see you again soon!**

**P.S. I know it's not really an epilogue, sorry.**

* * *

><p>"<em>Heel to toe takes you from my side<em>

_In and out, every breath divides_

_My eyes to your head, I can't go the distance_

_But when you go, you take me in an instant…_

_But in this life, I'll give it time_

'_Cause it's always spinning up from behind_

_It'll be alright, it will be fine_

'_Cause it's nothing more than ordinary life…"_

_~Ordinary Life by Kristen Barry_

It was like nothing had ever happened. Life was peaceful in the homes of the Winchesters and their friends, Gabriel apparently thinking getting pregnant AGAIN was a proper way to celebrate. Sam's exasperated groan in response could be heard throughout the entire neighborhood. Dean and Castiel were as inseparable as ever, their bond to each other strengthening with each day as did their bonds with James and Mary. And James smiled and laughed a lot more, such a nice change from the years when he was without Cas. Even Isadora, though she was just as rebellious and tough as ever, spent a little more time genuinely smiling instead of sporting her trademark smirk. But much to Sam and Gabriel's dismay, she didn't become any less of a handful.

Of course life still had its small disasters every now and then. Take for example Bones getting wasted on his eighteenth birthday and kissing Crowley, only to nearly get smote by Aziraphale and spend the next week awkwardly avoiding the shocked demon. Gallaghers will be Gallaghers. Then there was Sam and Gabriel's son Nate, who with age became the object of affection to yet another Gallagher. Leo, one of the twins' younger siblings, had a massive crush on Izzy's little brother. But thankfully for him, he didn't quite have Bones' luck. Nate actually reciprocated with time. It seemed like Gallaghers were just bound to end up with things for the Winchesters, much like Sam and Dean had found themselves so hopelessly falling for Gabriel and Cas that it seemed like yet another war with destiny.

A month after Castiel's return, they had the largest family reunion in the history of the world. In attendance was Adam, Anna, their daughter Millanie, Jo, Lucifer, their kids Nicholas and Ellie, Leslie, Andy, the pack of Gallagher kids and relatives, Sam, Gabriel, their flock, Dean, Cas, James and Mary, Hades, Kali, Mary (Dean's mother, not daughter) John, God (he insisted on baking cookies for the event), Aziraphale, Crowley, Balthazar, and even Michael. They had purchased what had to be the universe's largest dining table for the event.

Laughter and conversation lit up the room, but no one missed the way Lucifer picked idly at his food or how scared and depressed Aziraphale and Crowley looked. Kerberosel had never woken up. He breathed, his half angelic grace was intact, and he slept as if he could awake at any moment, but he never once opened his eyes. Though it wasn't spoken aloud, everyone was starting to wonder _if _he was going to wake up. Every time Crowley walked into his son's room late at night, seeing his blond curls fanned out on the pillow underneath him and his deep, even breathing, he prayed to whatever deity that was listening for Kerberosel to wake up. For him to squeeze Crowley's hand, for some kind of sign he was still in there. No signs ever came.

And when we say Sam and Gabriel's kids were there, we do mean all of them. Even Loki, new and improved. Spending three weeks being drained of the demon blood in his system had left him pretty weak and shaken, especially after he remembered trying to kill his friends and his own sister, but he had bounced back like a true Winchester. Isadora was all the better for having her twin back. Life was starting to settle back into place, disrupted only by the absence of a British half breed that should have been at Lucifer's side, stealing glances at him when he thought the werewolf/demigod wasn't looking. It was like a gaping, black hole.

Another week passed, and Lucifer was at his wit's end. He kept going over ways to help Kerberosel, and it was that Saturday when he realized the answer was staring him in the face. No doctor alive could possibly understand Kerberosel…except for one. The man that died at the hands of Eva. And if all of the deaths caused by her interference had been reversed (despite Izzy being the one to stab him), then he should be alive and at least semi-well. The young doctor had been possessed by a demon, by all means he wouldn't be that surprised if Lucifer asked him to treat a half angel. Assuming Lucifer was right and that this man was alive.

He got the doctor's address by telling one of the nurses that he was a friend of the Noir family, and before long he was standing before a sizeable apartment complex belonging to the young man that had treated James after his attempted suicide. Lucifer took a deep breath and walked inside, locating the correctly numbered room and knocking on the door. He waited with bated breath. Bones had been trying to cheer him up, but the only thing that could help how he was feeling was having Kerberosel back.

A tall, black-haired man opened the door, eyes crystal blue and flecked with sapphire around the pupils. "Hello…" he said softly.

Lucifer exhaled a massive sigh of relief. "Doctor Noir. I need your help…please."

Before long Joseph was sitting by Kerberosel's bedside, examining him carefully. Aziraphale, Crowley, and Lucifer hovered right behind him. He was calm and controlled, seeming totally unscathed by having not only been possessed by a demon but also been stabbed to death before being miraculously brought back to life. Lucifer hadn't mentioned Kerberosel was also half demon for obvious reasons and Joseph didn't ask what else was in him besides angel. So far all was going fairly well.

"I think I know what's wrong with him," Joseph murmured, sliding on a pair of black spectacle reading glasses.

"What?" Crowley asked immediately.

"His body has lapsed into a sleep not unlike a coma, but he still has brain activity similar to that of someone conscious. He's in a void between the waking world and the comatose one. I've seen this one other time, three years ago. She was a Nephilim. This seems to be an angel's natural defense mechanism against death. His heart in reaction to his brain pattern is beating an excess of-"

"Get to the point, Doctor Noir," Crowley hissed. "What can we do to help him?"

Joseph sighed, opening a small, leather bound book full of nearly indecipherable handwriting. It seemed to be his own personal medical journal. "Erica, the Nephilim girl, didn't wake up until a demon seeking revenge dealt her a mortal wound in her sleep." He blinked calmly, looking between Lucifer and Kerberosel's parents.

Zira bristled. "Are you suggesting we kill my son _again_?"

"You must shock him into consciousness. It's the only way."

"I won't," Lucifer snarled. "He's been through enough godsdamnit, I'm not going to let you hurt him!"

"Let him die then." Joseph rose, his voice cold but his eyes calm because he knew Lucifer's decision before Lucifer even made it. "I've done all I can do."

And he walked outside with a clear conscience, because there were too many people in that house who loved Kerberosel to let him die.

* * *

><p>"I can't do this, Crowley," Zira whispered, his blond curls shielding his face as he hung his head.<p>

The demon wrapped his arms around his husband's shaking form. "I'll do it. Someone has to."

"Let me."

They looked over to see Lucifer still standing in the doorway, who hadn't spoken since the doctor left. Aziraphale looked at Crowley, who was staring at Lucifer. The demon's expression was unreadable. They both trusted Lucifer, they had known him since he was a baby and he was Kerberosel's best friend, but they could hardly make this decision lightly. Doctor Noir had saved James' life, but they were weary of trusting the theory of shocking their son awake by stabbing him. It would either save him or finish killing him. Lucifer met their gazes evenly, not wavering once.

"Okay."

Crowley turned to Aziraphale, ready to protest but seeing the air of finality in the angel's eyes. Like Kerberosel, Zira's instincts never failed him. So Crowley nodded to Lucifer and stepped towards the back of the room with Aziraphale, watching as the demigod/werewolf withdrew a knife from a leg holster under his jeans. Zira buried his head in Crowley's shoulder, unable to watch. Crowley clenched his jaw as he watched the blade leap out from Lucifer's pocketknife. Kerberosel was so still, so lifeless. It was worth taking this chance if it meant seeing his son awake again.

"I hope to gods this works," Lucifer whispered.

_Please, gods, let this work._

Then he plunged the blade into the half breed's chest.

Kerberosel sucked in a sharp breath, back arching off the bed and eyes flying open. Zira looked up from Crowley's shoulder, Crowley felt his mind go completely blank of hope until he was sure, and Lucifer could barely breathe as he pulled the blade back out. Kerberosel's brown eyes were full of shock, fear, and wonder as he stared down at the already healing wound on his chest. Had it not been for Crowley and Aziraphale standing there, Lucifer probably would have kissed Kerberosel right then and there. They all waited for a few moments, but as soon as it was apparent the half breed was staying awake, his parents were by his side in a flash.

"What happened? How did you…?" Kerberosel asked hoarsely, voice cracked from not having been used recently.

He was immediately swathed in the relieved, overjoyed exclamations of his parents, and Lucifer slipped away.

* * *

><p>Three days. Three long days before Kerberosel saw his wolf again. He was standing outside, fingers lightly caressing the leaves of a snow covered tree. Snow fell and melted in his wavy hair. Joseph had been by to check on him this morning and pronounced him as good as new. Thrilled with the news, the half breed had called Lucifer and gotten his voicemail. He had left three messages before finally coming to the realization that perhaps he had pushed things too far when they went back in time. Maybe Lucifer was simply done with him. The thought made his eyes well up with unwanted tears.<p>

"Kerberosel."

Dark eyes widened as he spun to see Lucifer making his way through the snow. Kerberosel smiled wider than he had since awakening, frozen on the spot for a moment before starting to walk towards Lucifer. His heart started skipping beats erratically. He had no idea what to do or say. It was like the time he was twelve and first became aware of his crush on Lucifer. Or like when he was fourteen and accepted that he was in love with Lucifer. He was rendered speechless. Going back in time, he could do. Dying, he could handle. Coming back to life, he could handle that too. But Lucifer? It was his greatest weakness.

"Lucifer, I…"

He was cut off by Lucifer taking his face in his hands, pulling Kerberosel to him in a hard, fierce kiss. The half angel gasped in surprise but wrapped his arms around Lucifer's neck, leaning up on his tiptoes to accommodate the height difference. Lucifer's hands slid over his back, up towards the back of his neck and into the soft curls of his hair. _Finally._ Kerberosel had dreamt of this more times than he cared to count but had never dared hope the thoughts might have been reciprocated.

"Lucifer," he whispered as they pulled apart. It was now or never. "I…I love you."

Lucifer kissed Kerberosel again, softer this time. He nodded slowly. "Yeah. I think I might love you too."

Kerberosel almost died again when he heard that. And dying was one thing he'd had enough of for one lifetime.

* * *

><p>Life was good. Hell, it was <em>damn <em>good. There was just no other way to put it. Dean stood on the front porch of Sam and Gabriel's house, his arm wrapped around Castiel's shoulders as they watched the younger kids play. James stood close by with Mary, Lucifer and Kerberosel sat on the hood of the demigod's car holding hands, Sam was chasing Gabriel all over the yard like they were a couple of kida, God was on the barbeque with the steaks for the cookout, and the whole rest of the gang were there and having one hell of a time. Dean smirked amusedly as he watched Leo glaring Nate down as the Gabriel spawn rambled about this boy Harry he met that was from England and how _gorgeous _he was.

"I still can't believe we were apart for twelve years…looking at you now, it's like you were never even gone," Dean admitted, taking a swig of beer.

Cas smiled and dropped his head onto Dean's shoulder. "I wasn't gone. I was there, even when you couldn't see me. Even when I couldn't see you. I never left."

Dean wasn't sure if he would ever fully recover from the decade plus some he spent without his angel. He carried the scars even now. He said that it was as if Cas was never gone, but that wasn't the true. Not a day went by when he didn't look over into his angel's blue eyes and thank anything above that might be listening that Castiel was there, alive, that Dean had him back. He was terrified of every little thing he thought might harm his angel and knew he would never forget those horrid twelve years. The loneliness, the grief, and having all that amplified when James tried to kill himself.

"Yeah well if you ever die again, I'm coming to Heaven to kick your ass."

The angel laughed softly. "I love you, Dean."

"I love you too, Cas."

They kissed, and it was like a kiss from a fairytale. The perfect backdrop for the credits to roll, the ending of a love story as beautiful as it was tragic. Because not even death could keep them apart, just like Sam and Gabriel had found it in themselves to fall in love when the archangel came to the hunter begging for his help. Their stories had finally come to the perfect end.

But as for the children…well, their love stories were just beginning.


End file.
